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To tell dh I hate his pride&joy burgers?

(110 Posts)
Jux Fri 11-Jan-13 20:11:41

I am immensely grateful that dh cooks quite often. He's an OK plain cook - sausages, chips, a bit of veg - and makes a mean dumpling, and pretty good beef stew.

However, about once a month he insists on doing burgers. He loves them. He squashes a handful of mince together really hard to make a ball, then squashes it flat. Then cooks it. That's it. No seasoning, herbs, nothing.

I think they're pretty vile and so does dd. Mind you, I don't like burgers much anyway.

It is hard to tell him, as he is soooooooo proud of them. I think there's an element of competition as his best mate makes 'fantastic' burgers, and that's probably rolling about in dh's mind somewhere.

Today he wanted to have burgers. He was really desperate to do them, and I'm not feeling brilliant, so am pleased to have someone else cook, and as he's cooking he obviously gets to choose what we eat, especially as he felt so strongly about it.

So I am dreading supper, though I'm really hungry!

MrsGeologist Sat 12-Jan-13 09:24:57

I love my food probe. Takes the guesswork out of cooking, as I'm not the best cook in the world.

My roast chicken always comes out nicely moist, but properly cooked, now. Previously, I'd always over or under cook it.

OP, you should tell him really. How else will he learn and improve his cooking skills? You don't have to say, 'your burgers are a bag of shit,' just 'these are a little underseasoned, maybe try putting salt and pepper in them.'

TheProvincialLady Sat 12-Jan-13 09:39:39

Just tell him. And every time he cooks something horrible, tell him. Don't pretend to like it or it's like faking orgasms, and we all know where that leads. His precious pride will survive.

Now let's discuss the chips. The only way to make chips is to buy Yemeni Polecat potatoes, store them in a dark pantry for 38 days and then soak in salted water (ratio 1g per 300ml). Peel using a japanese paring knife (blunt to avoid bruising the skin molecules), and use a commercial chip cutting machine to ensure each one is precisely 6mmx4mmx90mm. Fry in organic hemp oil at 380 degrees for exactly 3 minutes, then drain and fry in lard at 375 degrees for 3 minutes. Most people don't follow this recipe and they are risking botulism every time they so much as look at a potato.

(Sorry, couldnt resist).

TeWiSavesTheDay Sat 12-Jan-13 09:40:32

That's not going to help though, because he's purposefully not adding any seasoning.

I wouldn't say anything about the burgers being bad because my DH is always polite about my food. Even when I say 'argh, this recipe did not work at all and I'm having a sandwich instead' he will still try and find something positive before we discuss what might make it better.

OPs DH really likes his burgers, so I don't think he should have to change it, just say 'i know you really like your burgers, but I'd like mine with a little, x, y, z, please.'

TeWiSavesTheDay Sat 12-Jan-13 09:41:44

grin provinciallady

MmeLindor Sat 12-Jan-13 09:59:49

Provincial lady grin

Nothing against a probe (oo er), although I never use one and haven't served underdone meat yet, but the rest of the recipe is a bit OTT

Someone said earlier - he's missing the point of the ads with '100% beef' - that doesn't mean nothing else in them.

Seasoning would help, mrsG but you really need egg and breadcrumbs and some herbs would r improve the taste.

whomovedmychocolate Sat 12-Jan-13 10:20:43

Get an attractive female friend to point out improvements. It works.

nickelbabe Sat 12-Jan-13 10:35:16

my Ex used to smoke and ate a lot of salt - basically, his tastebuds were shot

he used to make lambburgers. I never tasted them (being veggie), but I would watch him make them - he would throw in shedloads of salt, pepper, herbs, 2 or 3 onions... I can't imagine what other people thought when they tasted them, but even smelling them, it was like you'd been thrown into a vat of pepper! hmm

DuddlePuck Sat 12-Jan-13 10:38:44

My DH will ignore any helpful advice I give him, or do what I call the 'kicked puppy' look. Strangely, when workmates mock his loud shirt it is relegated to the back of the wardrobe, and when SIL points out the weird nose hair (subtle as a brick, that one), its gone by the morning.

Have a BBQ. Invite an outspoken friend or two (primed). Ask DH to make his speciality dish. Sympathise with him after the do at the thoughtless comments and enjoy tasty burgers forevermore. Job done.

EmmaBemma Sat 12-Jan-13 10:41:28

You really don't need a food probe to roast a chicken. It's 20 minutes for every 500 grams plus 30 minutes, at 160C. I do this and have never over- or under- roasted.

Tee2072 Sat 12-Jan-13 10:48:33

My burgers are delicious and I only use high quality mince and a bit of salt and pepper. Burgers should taste of meat, not all that other stuff y'all are talking about.

halcyondays Sat 12-Jan-13 10:55:52

I don't know why you can't just tell him you're not that keen on burgers. DH grumbles at a lot of my favourite foods and vice versa.

MmeLindor Sat 12-Jan-13 11:42:47

What do you know? Americans can't make good burgers. Jeez. You'd think you'd invented then or some...


diddl Sat 12-Jan-13 11:44:35

Well also as said, let him have his burgers how he wants & add what you want to yours.

But really, what he´s doing is just fried mince, isn´t it?

Tee2072 Sat 12-Jan-13 12:14:55

grin MmeLindor

My burgers are divine, juicy, tasty and filling. And I do none of what Joan suggests.

Inside-out burgers are the most popular, I wrap the meat mix around some grated cheese. Lamb burgers are also really good. The key is spicing, no salt in the meat mix and searing to seal the juice in before reducing the heat to cook through. The meat needs to be bound with an egg yolk too.

Now I'm craving burgers for dinner grin

Proudnscary Sat 12-Jan-13 12:18:15

Why are you 'immensely grateful' your partner cooks?

Why can't you just tell him his burgers suck?

Chandon Sat 12-Jan-13 12:23:17

Cause that woud unnecessarily rude and nasty.

Just add salt, pepper yourself and sauce and plastic cheese, onion, mayo

Proudnscary Sat 12-Jan-13 12:25:26

Why is it rude and nasty to tell your do you don't like one of his meals? I really don't get this at all. And we appreciate it when the other makes dinner but are not 'grateful' - there is a difference.

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding Sat 12-Jan-13 12:47:15

Either buy him a burger recipe book or you could say you have gone off burgersgrin
Don' t tell him, It won' t do much good to his confidence

lottiegarbanzo Sat 12-Jan-13 13:32:51

If you were capable of doing only the simplest car maintenance tasks, like checking the oil and the screen wash and, every month gained great enjoyment from checking the tyre pressure, consistently badly so your readings were useless, would you expect your DP to fawn over you, offering fulsome praise every time you did you did it, never mentioning that your readings were always wrong, all for the sake of your pride and fragile ego?

I would consider that immensely patronising, would think he had his head stuck in some 1950s notion of gender roles and the presumed inability of the 'little lady' to learn such a manly task (but bless her for trying eh? so sweet!).

I would much rather he acknowledged my effort and enthusiasm and told me how to do the task properly (assuming he knew of course). Then I'd wonder why I hadn't checked I was doing it right before and be pleased to have learnt something useful.

Jux Sat 12-Jan-13 14:55:38

Joan, I love your instructions grin. Not practical for us though. They might be useful and I am currently getting flashes of inspiration about how I might use your know-how....

Luckily, our butcher is a genius with meat (celebrity said so, so it must be true!) and he delivers meat to 2 and 3 star restaurants in London every week. I reckon that his is probably the safest mince you can get - round here anyway.

Thank you all for your thoughts. thanks

YY to telling him.

I went through 6 years of dp's dry, nasty omelettes. I finally broke when I was pregnant (so not accountable for outbursts wink) and told him he made the shittest omelettes I'd ever had the displeasure to force down my throat.

He is an excellent cook btw, just not great at the humble omelette.

DamnBamboo Sat 12-Jan-13 15:32:20

Can you not just put some cheese, lettuce, pickles, onions tomatoes etc. with it and eat it like that?

It's a burger once a month... a bit of perspective would be good.

Jux Sat 12-Jan-13 19:42:30

Bamboo, I've been saying for almost all my subsequent posts that I'll just eat them. Please don't accuse me of losing perspective. It's because, to me, it's a pretty trivial matter that I haven't said anything to dh before, coupled with it being a big thing for him. If I'd lost perspective, I'd be posting on relationships asking if I should LTB!

ihearsounds Sat 12-Jan-13 19:50:58

A burger on its own, even with seasoning and herbs aren't that great. But add cheese, mayo, ketchup, pickles, mustard, red onion, lettuce, tomatoes and it turns into something edible.
A burger without all of that is just a mcdonalds, which are bland.

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