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For explaining 'where babies come from' like this?

(80 Posts)
BitofSparklingPerry Fri 11-Jan-13 00:47:06

To make a baby, you need a seed from a man, an egg from a woman and the special bit in a woman's tummy called a womb.

Usually, the baby's daddy gives the seed and the babys mummy gives the egg and womb, and they all live together as a family.

Sometimes the mummy and daddy don't live together and so the baby can have two houses! Sometimes the baby only lives with one parent. Sometimes the people who first made the baby can't be a mummy and daddy so the baby gets new parents.

Sometimes two ladies are in love and so a kind man gives them a seed, or maybe two men find a kind lady to give them an egg and let them use her womb.

Sometimes the mummy or daddy need a kind person to give eggs or seeds or let them use their womb because the mummy or daddy have a problem with theirs.

Sometimes a woman and a man even make a baby by accident! When you grow big enough o make a baby, you can get medicine that stops ou havin a baby until you want one.

All sorts of different things happen, and babies end up in all sorts of families, isn't that lovely!

No matter what, there always needs to be an egg, a seed, a womb and someone to love the baby, but there are lots of ways to do that, just like there are lots of different families.

Because this is the way I tell it to my dds when they ask, and people seem to think it hilarious... Obviously I didn't just spout all that when they were 2, but that is pretty much what emerged. Dd1 has quite a probing mind so keeps asking 'what if...' Questions, and has asked in great detail about childbirth and breastfeeding, but not about how the seed and egg meet for some reason.

(Although she got the impression from somewhere that god gives seeds out, and only if you are married to a man. Sigh.)

She wants to be a doctor or vet (or an olympic diver, despite the fact she can't swim...) so she loves a bit of gore and is asking for a model of the pregnant pelvis to go with the other models that she demands I make, then ignores...

SageYourResoluteOracle Fri 11-Jan-13 01:03:28

I actually think YANBU. And, as a parent of a child conceived with the beautiful gift of a donor egg, I am delighted that this permutation of baby making has been included!

MrsPoglesWood Fri 11-Jan-13 01:16:09

YANBU. What a brilliant explanation!

DSM Fri 11-Jan-13 01:20:03

As much as I think this is lovely, it just makes me sad to think there are people who don't explain it like this.

Not the whole 'seed and egg' thing, but the differences in different families.

SweetTeaVodka Fri 11-Jan-13 01:22:40

I think this is really lovely and am actually trying to burn it into my brain for future use!


pennefab Fri 11-Jan-13 01:27:16

Love your explanations! We are family that borrowed another woman's womb.

At the 5 yr old explanation, my DC learned that my tummy was broken and they wouldn't have been able to grow there. So another woman (who have met) let us grow baby with her.

BitofSparklingPerry Fri 11-Jan-13 01:28:57

Maybe I should write a book :-)

TraceyTrickster Fri 11-Jan-13 01:33:43

we have a book about being a donor which we have read to DD since she was little (for us to get used to the words). Think it is published by uni of Sheffield...would have to find it.
(DD wanted to take it into school but I know some parents think 5 is too young about babies etc)

MrsPoglesWood Fri 11-Jan-13 01:34:49

Yes you bloody well should!!

There's no way I could've explained it all to DS as well as you wrote it. I'd have loved a book that made it all sound so straighforward and most importantly all about love and babies being wanted.

TheBOF Fri 11-Jan-13 01:42:41

You can always bodyswerve the question by filling all the cupboards drawers and cabinets in your house with babies, then when you get asked, you can run round dramatically flinging doors open and laugh maniacally "Where don't babies come from?!"

That's how I'd like to handle it.

BitofSparklingPerry Fri 11-Jan-13 01:44:14

Amazing! grin

SageYourResoluteOracle Fri 11-Jan-13 02:00:39

Totally agree with DSM

The world would be a better place if more people like the OP explained differences between families like this. Or, simply if more parents taught their children about the facts of life with no shame and with the accurate facts.

Bitof- I think I luffs you a bit!

Tracey- I'd love the title of the book if you can find out please. DD has already been told her story (we have told her a few times since birth) but as she's entering the toddler years I'm planning on making her a 'My Story' book to help with her understanding. It also helps that we know two other families with donor egg conceived children, who will also be told the beautiful stories of how they came to be so hopefully DD will eventually have others she can chat to if she wishes.

Sorry OP- don't want to hijack thread!

Kytti Fri 11-Jan-13 02:05:36

OMG - is this market research for your book or something?

It seems reasonable to me. I wouldn't want someone else saying things like this to my 5 year-old though. It's a parent's job to do this.

BitofSparklingPerry Fri 11-Jan-13 02:09:03

Everyone I have said it in front of has said that I'm trying too hard and that the kids don't need to know, but to me it is the only way of not setting up things I then have to go back on as they get older...

ripsishere Fri 11-Jan-13 02:33:27

Of course YANBU. What a ridiculous question.
My DD got the idea that a man 'puts his willy up your bum and has a wee'. Once I'd got over my tears of hysterical laughter, we had a conversation similar to yours.
Unfortunatley the next week they grew beans from seed. DD confidently told every one they would grow into babies.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel Fri 11-Jan-13 02:42:02

Personally I prefer to use the word sperm, I find 'seed' can get a bit confusing.

I'm a bit confused as to how many people you have had to say that in front of though. I don't randomly go about explaining biology to my DC in front of people. confused Who is it thats telling you that you're trying too hard?

Catchingmockingbirds Fri 11-Jan-13 02:50:48

How old are your dc?

ComposHat Fri 11-Jan-13 03:06:20

Sounds like a very well thought out way of explaining it, factual and inclusive without being pompus or high faluting

I assume it was one of your children who asked this question and it isn't the response you gave in your biology finals at university!

MammaTJ Fri 11-Jan-13 04:15:24

Brilliant and not unlike how I explained it to DD1 and DStD!

I have only got as far as 'You have eggs in your tummy to make a baby when you are a lady. When you grow up a bit but are not ready to make a baby, every few weeks one of those eggs comes out of your tummy, through the middle hole and what looks like blood comes out with it' with DD2 age 7. She has shown no interest in the rest of it.

Lurkymclurker Fri 11-Jan-13 04:45:49

I love this explanation and am storing it up for when DD is old enough to ask.

YorkshireDeb Fri 11-Jan-13 04:59:06

Seriously - if you saw some of the complete shite highly educational books on the market you'd get your ass down to a publishers with this beautiful explanation. My personal favourite is 'mummy laid an egg' by babette cole: "mummies & daddies for together in lots of different ways" WHAT?! Particularly love your simple explanation of gay & lesbian relationships as children are particularly inquisitive about this and yet have a lot of prejudice probably pushed on them from narrow minded adults. X

YorkshireDeb Fri 11-Jan-13 05:01:00

Whoops - that should say "mummies & daddies fit together in lots of different ways". Oh, and it comes with lovely illustrations that could give us all a few ideas for spicing things up including use of balloons! X

acceptableinthe80s Fri 11-Jan-13 07:18:28

YANBU. I'm raising my son alone and that's exactly what I've told him. He's only 4 but very inquisitive. I was looking after a friends child the other day and she very loudly in front of ds asked why he didn't have a daddy so I gave her the 'all families are different' chat. As others say I wish everyone would explain this to their children.

CailinDana Fri 11-Jan-13 07:40:41

It's a lovely explanation, but seeing as you use the word "egg" which is correct, it would make sense to use the word "sperm" too. Children do a lot about seeds in school and sperm doesn't act like a seed at all (in biological terms it's not a seed) so they could end up a bit confused. Sperm isn't a dirty word, so why not use it?

valiumredhead Fri 11-Jan-13 08:11:47

I explained like that too - not all in one go but gradually.

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