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to find naked people in changing room unnecessary?

(266 Posts)
CharlLaneoxo Thu 10-Jan-13 21:14:57

Such as at the gym and the swimming pool etc.

I'm not talking about women who are comfortable with themselves and can get changed in front of strangers no problem.

I'm referring to the ones who will take leisurely showers, walk around, spend ages getting ready, drying their hair and stand chatting to their friends completely naked.

I know we're all women etc but I just find it unnecessary.

Or maybe I am a prude smile

Hobbitation Mon 14-Jan-13 13:50:40

She said to me the other day 'when you look at yourself with a mirror' I thought 'Umm what do you mean when ?

I know what you mean. I have only ever looked at myself down there with a mirror twice. Once as a teenager in an "Am I normal?" moment after reading a magazine article, and once two weeks after having DD1 when the midwife had removed the stitches and said "It all looks lovely again now". Last one took a bit of courage, but it was indeed all ok.

ILikeBirds Mon 14-Jan-13 14:21:35

Add Denmark to the compulsory naked shower list for those bothered about that sort of thing

higgle Mon 14-Jan-13 15:02:34

I didn't find the compulsory naked shower thing upsetting just a bit taken aback as I wasn't expecting it. At least in the nordic swimming pools you know exactly wht you are required to do and you see quite quickly everyone complies, then it is not anxiety inducing. It is when I see groups of "flaunters" and the "cover it all up at any cost" brigade in the same changing room that I get a bit worried as I have to decide which camp I'm in and ( because I just can't flaunt) what exactly I have to do to show I'm not totally neurotic and ashamed of my body either. DH was mightily embarassed a few years ago when we got a new cleaner at home. She also worked at the local swimming pool in the men's changing room, where she had seen rather a lot of him!

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:03:08

Thanks for saying that Carling but you'd find that difficult. It is horrible though, looks like this
No amount of dieting or exercise will help, skin and muscle too damaged (confirmed by medic). It makes me feel sick sad

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:12:50

Thanks too, Morloth. I know I should think that, but just can't. For a normal tummy, yes but mine is grotesque. I'll bet you haven't seen one like mine as I can't imagine anyone exposing it to others.
I am weeping as I type this.

PretzelTime Mon 14-Jan-13 18:28:38

I'm sorry you feel so bad asheep, I know a woman who also have a stomach like that. She also felt really down about it but all I see is simply a woman who have had children!

CarlingBlackMabel Mon 14-Jan-13 18:36:06

asheep - that's EXACTLY how many people's bodies are after all that pg and CS. My friend's tummy looks like that. smile

I'm sorry that you are so upset about it. I agree your middle doesn't conform to anything you see in a magazine, but there's many a M&S jumper covering a tum like that. And truly, to me, it is just a tum that has seen a bit of the world and earned it's keep.

But your feelings are your feelings, I'm not saying you are wrong to feel as you do. Have you talked to your GP about your feelings about it? On Embarrassing Bodies they are always doing procedures to remove extra skin on previously over-stretched bellies.

Think of the portraists artists choose to paint when they can chhhose the model - still life rather than commissioned portraits. Artists much prefer bodies that display signs of a person's history than 'blank canvas' beauty. Look at Bacon and Freud's fabulous nudes. They^ love^ that flesh with their brush and light.

Take care of yourself and stand proud!

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:30:42

Ah now your kind and thoughtful replies are making me cry again!
I imagine people seeing me and recoiling (or thinking "that's awful" but being polite and saying nothing).

I know what you mean about those artists Carling but there's not too many folk around with an artist's aesthetics. sad

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:37:51

My GP referred me to a cosmetic surgeon who was willing to do an op but I was scared to have one for something not life threatening.

CarlingBlackMabel Mon 14-Jan-13 19:58:34

Well, that is a sound sense of priority smile

SpicyPear Mon 14-Jan-13 20:01:48

asheep 'm sorry to feel that it makes you feel bad, but I also have friends with similar tums. I myself have a scar and a funny tum from a gynae op and often get asked if I'm pg when I never have been sad I know it's much harder said than done but I really am getting towards a place where I see it as a kind of marker of what I have been through rather than an imperfect body part. To begin with I couldn't even look at it though. One thing I can guarantee to you is that it does not look as bad as you see it in your head.

asheepatthewheel Mon 14-Jan-13 21:39:00

I'm so sorry Spicy that you have gone through this.

KristinaM Tue 15-Jan-13 21:50:40

As sheep, lots of women at our local gym have tummies like that and mine isn't much better. I think it's pretty normal to look like this aftre several pregnancies and sections . I'm size 8 and pretty fit, but that bit hasn't gone away with weight loss and exercise. I just accept that my days as a bikini model are gone. I don't look too closely in the mirror and my DP doesn't wear his specs in bed so he can't see either.

, we could afford plastic surgery but I woulndt take the risk of soemthing going wrong, when I have young children. Lots of people live full and happy lives with major disabilities. I've decided I can live with a slightly saggy tummy .

Please don't be offended, but , if this is upsetting you so much I think you need to go and talk to a counsellor about it. Your tummy is normal but your feelings about it are not. I'm wondering if you might be suffering from depression and that's why things are getting all out of proportion for you?

There is help out there, you don't need to go on feeling like this

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 16-Jan-13 16:40:52

That looks like my sisters tum after twins asheep. She is still gorge though.
I know it is very upsetting when something changes to that extent but as women we are always mentally chopping our bodies up, saying things like"I like my legs, if I could only change my arms and my bum I would be OK."
We even grab handfuls of flesh and move it around, saying "If only "this" wasn't here" BUT in truth people don't really isolate bits when they look at other people.
You see other people as a whole, a person with a body that has survived things like birth and operations, ageing etc.
We have to try and look at ourselves as whole people, not body parts, just like we do other people.

meon79 Thu 29-Oct-15 22:30:54

Not sure if this the right thread but here goes -
Today i went swimming with my son at the pyramids pool there is separate male communal changing so everyone strips down and changes when me and my son who is 12 went to shower after swimming we both stripped down naked and had a good scrubb with shower gel and there was other men (fathers) and lads from 5 to 40 all washing when one dad walked in witth his daughter who was apparently 12 the dad called us all perverts then when he followed us through to the changing room he demanded all men and boys cover up as his daughter had a right not to see naked boys\men some of the other boys became upset and felt they had done some thing wrong the dads tried to reassaure them we they were in a male shower\changing room and we hadn't done anything wrong my son says he likes to shower properly shower gel and sponge as he says he can then go straight home and relax but he is now worried about the man bringing his daughter in to the showers again and getting angry, was this man wrong? Or were we fathers and sons all wrong to shower naked in a mens shower room ?
Do other people think its acceptable or unacceptable to have naked showers at a swimming pool in single sex facilities eg men in mens shower rooms ?

meon79 Fri 30-Oct-15 00:38:48

Today i went swimming at the pyramids there is separate male and female changing rooms and open shiowers in a shower room attached too the cganging room after swimming me and my 12 yo old ds went to shower stripped of our trunks and shampooed up there was 8 other men and boys aged 5 to 40 all naked and then a man brought his daughter in she stripped down and the father called us all sick my son and several other boys were upset he still wants to shower naked and im going to let him as he says he gets home straight into to pyjamas and can just relax. I have reassaured him we men\boys did nothing wrong as it was the mens shower and changing room does anyone else think what we did was wrong or is men\boy\s naked showering and changing in the male changing room acceptable?

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