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To find these words derogatory?

(72 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Thu 10-Jan-13 17:35:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ResolutelyCheeky Thu 10-Jan-13 17:38:51

I don't suffer MH issues and I find them unnecessary.

PacificDogwood Thu 10-Jan-13 17:39:46

YANBU. And YA a bit oversensitive.
I see where you are coming from and don't disagree.
But I struggle to think of terms to describe certain non-normal behaviour or events otherwise.
I call DS4 2.10 'Insane Toddler' on a regular basis - he has no MH issues yet, but does have spectacular melt-down and can display behaviour that is entirely unreasonable.

YANBU as there still is such a stigma attached to almost any kind of problem with mental wellbeing, whether it is an illness or reactive.

What kind of phrases would you not find upsetting?
To use in the kind of context like so: "These shoes cost £1000!" "Oh my, that's just crazy ...."

Andro Thu 10-Jan-13 17:41:49

I think context is important. Referring to someone who has mental health issues as crazy/mental/nutter/etc is at best unhelpful and at worst pretty insulting.

My DH calling me a nutter when I'm hanging out of a tree and firing paint balls at him is little more than a statement of fact.

manicbmc Thu 10-Jan-13 17:41:53

I think it very much depends on the context the words are used and also the intent behind the words.

However, I find 'retard' and 'mong' particularly unpleasant.

HecatePropolos Thu 10-Jan-13 17:42:31

No. You're not unreasonable.
You've a perfect right to feel how you feel.
I, otoh, also have a history of mhp including more than one admission to a mhu, and I use these words. Often about myself grin. I'm a fan of the black humour grin

We're all different, it doesn't offend me and that's fine. It offends you and that's ok too.
However, now I am becomming aware that other people are offended, I should probably try to avoid using them. Cos if I don't care but they do, it makes sense to just go with what the person who cares feels.
If that makes any sense.

MrsWolowitz Thu 10-Jan-13 17:46:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaxPepsi Thu 10-Jan-13 17:46:59

It all depends on what context they are used.

And whether they are actually meant in an offensive way.

MrsWolowitz Thu 10-Jan-13 17:48:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjay Thu 10-Jan-13 17:48:42

somebody pointed it out to me ages ago on here saying mental etc wasn't that a great thing to say which i understood, I do tend to say bonkers or loony now though as sometimes you need words to describe what you were saying I would hate to hurt anybodies feelings though

zippey Thu 10-Jan-13 17:49:13

I dont like retard or Mong, and I dont use mental very often.

I dont think crazy or nutter is all that offensive.

Im not sure where we would stop if we stopped saying words that each person in the world.

Allonsy Thu 10-Jan-13 17:49:37

I have a history of MH issues and have no problem with any of those words tbh

manicbmc Thu 10-Jan-13 17:49:49

They are words I use with people I know well but I don't think I'd call someone I didn't know well 'crazy' really.

In that context, I'd say strange or silly then, if I even passed comment.

I do like a bit of black humour, like Hecate, but I also would hate to think I'd upset someone.

FellatioNels0n Thu 10-Jan-13 17:52:17

They do not offend me in the slightest.

What would offend me would be someone being deliberately cruel and sneering and lacking in compassion or understanding toward someone known to be struggling with serious mental health issues.

I don't necessarily see a connection between behaviour like that, and other people using the words you mentioned in a light hearted way, to generalize about sane people displaying eccentric qualities.

MrsWolowitz Thu 10-Jan-13 17:52:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tee2072 Thu 10-Jan-13 18:03:22

As a person with multiple MH issues, I think YABU. They are just words. I call my self a loon all the time. And crazy.

And, honestly, some things are just crazy. Or insane. Or loony.

And unlike Hec, I won't say them just because they might offend someone. I have as much right to say them as you have to offended by them.

I agree about Mong and Retard. But that's because those have very specific derogatory meanings.

And if you don't like the word loon or loony? Never go to's what they call their money...

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn Thu 10-Jan-13 18:12:26

Tricky one this.

I have a MH condition and within my circle of friends will happily use nutter, bonkers, loopy etc. The only one I'd never use - and would be cross if was used about me - is batshit crazy, as that is a really derogatory term.

Do I find it annoying when I see people on threads calling each other mental, or suggesting that they are mentally ill, when they disagree with each other, or they're just being a cunt? Damned right I do.

Do I get upset if someone says "my toddler is a nutter" when their child is doing something funny - No.

"Thats a crazy idea" = OK
"Only a crazy person would think thats a good idea" = Not so much OK.

The big BIG BIG problem I DO have with this site is that if someone is posting about a person who has done something absolutely awful, someone will always pop up and say "I bet they have MH issues!". Now that DOES piss me off.

MrsWolowitz Thu 10-Jan-13 18:15:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecatePropolos Thu 10-Jan-13 18:16:19

Oh yes!
That's similar to 'let me tell you all about my abusive arsehole boyfriend who treats me like shit...'

Could he be ASD.
<hecate leaps through PC and rips your head off and shits down your neck>

Tee2072 Thu 10-Jan-13 18:16:43

Your last point annoys me as well Keema. To the point that I will hide the thread even if the discussion in general is good.

ThreeBeeOneGee Thu 10-Jan-13 18:20:02

Out of the three, I find 'mental' the most offensive when used as the OP describes. Even worse when someone is described as 'a mental'.

I wouldn't use 'nutter' in that way myself, but I can cope when others do.

Crazy/insane/mad don't bother me as much.

timidviper Thu 10-Jan-13 18:20:06

Just out of interest then, what words would you find not offensive? Within our family we would use words like that in a jokey way and not think twice about it.

I worry we are in danger of making so many things unacceptable that we will be "walking on eggshells" for fear of offending others.

Agree with Keema I find it more offensive that MH issues are often thrown up as a possible explanation for bad behaviour with no justification.

mrsjay Thu 10-Jan-13 18:21:31

Oh yes!
That's similar to 'let me tell you all about my abusive arsehole boyfriend who treats me like shit...'

Could he be ASD.
<hecate leaps through PC and rips your head off and shits down your neck>

I often want to rip heads off too, aww he could have some sort of ASD just bugger off he is an arsehole and even if he is ASD doesn't mean he should be abusing his partner, does it <ranty now>

mrsjay Thu 10-Jan-13 18:22:44

mrsW do you think it is the context rather than the words you don't like or is it the words ?

CloudsAndTrees Thu 10-Jan-13 18:23:05

You may have a point about using the word mental, but with crazy and nutter I think you are being over sensitive. Especially if they are not said in an offensive way and are just words being used to convey meaning,not an insult.

You are being very hypocritical if you use the word loon, even if you are talking about yourself. It's still being derogatory about lunatics, which basically means mentally ill.

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