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To feel its a cheek to text for my nanny's number knowing she will be asking her to pick up her kid

(105 Posts)
sorryimlateagain Wed 09-Jan-13 18:09:43

I got a text today from another mum at the school just before pick-up time just saying 'can you send me 'your nanny's' number'. Last year she constantly called my nanny to collect and look her child from school on a particularly day of the week because she was on a course. Surely she should arrange and pay for her own Childcare rather than use someone else's. She didn't bother asking me if was ok. My nanny also felt 'abused'. Not sure how to handle it either. Wouldn't mind so much if she asked and it was an occasional thing but... She's obviously lost the number. So far not answered cos I was in a meeting. AIBU?

LindyHemming Wed 09-Jan-13 18:11:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody Wed 09-Jan-13 18:12:09

Why would you think it's ok to give out Antibes mobile number without checking first..

Say no but get her number and tell her you will pass it on to the nanny.

Both of you need to stop being so nice and tell her no.

MammaTJ Wed 09-Jan-13 18:12:19

I would tell her I don't give out other peoples numbers without their permission. Problem solved in the first instance.

Tell her your Nanny is busy and not available to help her.


Virgil Wed 09-Jan-13 18:12:28

How about responding saying

"Oh I'm glad you texted I was going to ask if you wanted to split the cost of the nanny's salary on those nights when you need a nanny."

Definitely don't give her the number!

Sunnywithshowers Wed 09-Jan-13 18:12:56

YANBU. Don't answer. If she texts back, tell her that your nanny doesn't want you to give out her number.

HairyPotter Wed 09-Jan-13 18:13:11

Very rude. I wouldn't bother replying or possibly sent the wrong number

cathpip Wed 09-Jan-13 18:15:04

most definately not, give her the number for the nanny agency and tell her there prices are very reasonable!!

CarlingBlackMabel Wed 09-Jan-13 18:16:26

Don't give her the number.

And if she asks again, or if you see her tell her that your nanny is busy looking after your child, and that your nanny feels compromised being approached by other parents because she's working for you. If she is in a real emergency, can she ask YOU, and if it is a day your nanny isn't doing an after school activity then YOU will ask if your nanny can help out.

Just asking you nanny directly to cover a regular childcare need is outrageous.

TippiShagpile Wed 09-Jan-13 18:16:53

I agree. What a rude cow.

Just say that your nanny has asked you not to give out her number.

alarkaspree Wed 09-Jan-13 18:17:47

No YANBU, she is taking the piss. It would be tempting to ignore her text but better for the long term if you could reply and say that you don't want her asking your nanny to look after her child too. If it was an occasional one-off in an emergency I'm sure you would say yes, but this is just taking advantage.

Either that or offer her a nanny-share on Wednesday afternoons, and you can split the cost of giving the nanny a bit of extra money for the extra child.

RyleDup Wed 09-Jan-13 18:18:36

Yep, either con

GreatUncleEddie Wed 09-Jan-13 18:18:53

Don't put the decision out as the nanny's! You need to man up and tell her she can't use your nanny. Because she is working for you.

DeafLeopard Wed 09-Jan-13 18:19:29

I think you also need to empower your nanny that she won't get a bollocking from you if she tells this woman that she won't pick up her child.

Sometimes it is difficult for a nanny not wanting to offend their bosses friends.

You pay the nanny's wages to look after your child.

Ignore the text.

RyleDup Wed 09-Jan-13 18:19:41

Try again.
Either completely ignore it or Do what virgill said. Or say, sorry, but shes working for you on those days.

CloudsAndTrees Wed 09-Jan-13 18:19:47

Text her the number of a nanny agency.

maddening Wed 09-Jan-13 18:22:09

If you really want to stop it I reckon reply with the truth - you pay for 1-2-1 childcare for a reaaon and it is rude of her to approach your nanny. You feel she was wrong to ask your nanny to pick her up when you were paying for the time and that maybe if she had approached you the first time you might have been happy to come to an equitable arranhement but as it is now you would rather not. Supply the number for an agency as pp suggested and she can make her own arrangements out of her own purse.

LadyStark Wed 09-Jan-13 18:23:38

Ignore the message, pretend you didn't get it if she asks. Don't make this as easy for her as just sending a text, she's taking the piss.

LadyStark Wed 09-Jan-13 18:26:18

Oh and tell her that unfortunately your nanny is unable to look after any children, her employment contract states this and it would impact employers liability etc. assume children go back to your house? What happens if the other child falls over and hurts herself in the care of your nanny, who is liable?

NeverBeRudeToAReindeer Wed 09-Jan-13 18:28:00

Either tell her your nanny has asked you not to give her number out, or tell her you'll pass her number on to nanny. If you were my boss, I would be less than happy that you were giving my number out, TBH.

Toughasoldboots Wed 09-Jan-13 18:30:06

I can't believe that people behave like this.

PumpkinPositive Wed 09-Jan-13 18:32:49

I don't understand. Why would your nanny even consider picking up a child she isn't being paid to care for?

Just dazzle Brass Neck with science and tell her you can't give out Nanny's number for Data Protection reasons.

VonHerrBurton Wed 09-Jan-13 18:34:36

Cheeky cow, Jeez!! I thought it was bad enough when my irresponsible, disorganised, pita, looks out for herself to the detriment of all others including her own dc (phew!) neighbour rings me 30 seconds before I leave the house either morning or afternoon, asking if I mind collecting/dropping off her ds as 'there's no point in us both going' hmm (we are no longer very friendly)

To do that in such a hard-faced manner is just beyond belief. Ignore her. Completely.

zlist Wed 09-Jan-13 18:35:29

I agree - you have no right to give out her number anyway, without your nanny's permission.
I would make it crystal clear in your reply that it is not ok for her to ask your nanny to look after your children in the hours she is working for you, as politely as possible - but not so polite the point gets lost.

SantasENormaSnob Wed 09-Jan-13 18:37:12

The cheeky fucking cow shock

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