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To think that a busy life is no excuse for not giving your child breakfast?

(238 Posts)
exBrightonBell Tue 08-Jan-13 18:31:36

Just watched the BBC news about a school which will be giving all its pupils a free breakfast. Amongst the reasons for children not being given breakfast at home was having a busy life. They interviewed a mum who said that their mornings were too late and busy to reliably give the children breakfast, and that she didn't have time to have an argument about it. She seemed to think that this was completely reasonable. AIBU to think that this isn't a reasonable excuse? Poverty and neglect are both reasons why children don't get breakfast at home, but parents being too busy? Really?

akaemmafrost Tue 08-Jan-13 18:46:40

I have never done that Gumby not being smug just answering your question.

Breakfast is non negotiable here.

However my Mum never gave us breakfast as children but then she also left me in sole charge of my four year old sister when I was aged 9. I still wouldn't call her a neglectful parent though I think it was just what she was used to growing up as a fifties child from an extremely impoverished background. Maybe these parents are just used to no breakfast because of their own upbringings. Not that that makes it ok, just looking for reasons.

ZZZenAgain Tue 08-Jan-13 18:48:39

Well if you are really really rushed in the morning, I could imagine it is difficult to fit it in with a lot of dc and so on and leaving the house extra early perhaps but surely most dc can pour some cereal and milk in a bowl or peel a banana, or maybe grab an apple and a glass of milk if their parents are so busy they cannot manage to do anything. It sounds strange to me. It could be the dc are fussy eaters or don't want to eat so early and trying to get them to do it takes up a lot of time the parents don't feel they have.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 08-Jan-13 18:48:47

Lilith I don't think it's about going to school early for breakfast club for child care, more it's children going to school at the normal time and not being fed first. Otherwise I'd be a bad mum to mine go 3x a week and love it.

SuffolkNWhat Tue 08-Jan-13 18:49:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PessaryPam Tue 08-Jan-13 18:49:28

Yes the lazy cow should get up earlier so she would have time to make the kids breakfast. Every smart phone has an alarm function on it now so there is no excuse apart from fecklessness.

ThePlEWhoLovedMe Tue 08-Jan-13 18:49:41

My son goes to breakfast club @8am where they provide him with breakfast. I could give it at home (and have plenty of time!!) but he enjoys eating it at the club - plus I am paying for it so why shouldn't he eat there?

AnnIonicIsoTronic Tue 08-Jan-13 18:49:54

Our kids are sat at the table every morning without fail to a carousel of porridge, cereal, fruit, toast. Dd1 and DS2 are just hopeless. DS1 'll be shovelling food and Dd will just sit and stare at her bowl. I can see why people get demoralised serving a meal that gets ignored.

BacardiNCoke Tue 08-Jan-13 18:49:56

I agree I would rather they be late for school than have no breakfast! But on the other hand, dd2 has to be up for at least an hour before she can eat breakfast. So sometimes even though I've made her breakfast she doesn't always eat it as it makes her feel sick. DD1 on the other hand eats a massive breakfast!

newtonupontheheath Tue 08-Jan-13 18:50:20


Breakfast is the first thing we do in this house. No TV, no playing and before we get dressed. In fact, I think breakfast is the only reason ds gets out if bed!!

When I'm not on mat leave We leave the house at 7:30. I'm looking forward to school because we'll surely have more time in the morning for exciting things like pancakes

ZZZenAgain Tue 08-Jan-13 18:52:00

sometimes it is easier to eat if you have had a drink first but admittedly mornings can be a big rush. I can't eat first thing but I do feel like having soemthing to drink.

InNeedOfBrandy Tue 08-Jan-13 18:52:49

M dc's breakfast club is 7:45 but it's not for parents who can afford to feed their dc it's a paid for extra child care that includes food. I still get them breakfast just paying for it there. Nothing to do with being lazy or not having enough time.

bringonyourwreckingball Tue 08-Jan-13 18:53:14

Mine do occasionally have something in the car on the way to the childminders. We have to leave quite early, they need sleep as well as they need food so it's always a balance. I do prefer them to wake up naturally if they can but if they're not up by a certain time or then they dawdle with getting dressed then breakfast suffers. But the alternative would be getting them out of bed before they're ready - then if everything goes smoothly we're early and they're well breakfasted but tired. They probably have gone without very, very occasionally when we have nothing 'portable' in, we're running late, I absolutely have to get to work and they aren't cooperating.

sausagesandwich34 Tue 08-Jan-13 18:53:18

my dds go to breakfast club at 7.45 and are supposed to have breakfast there -it's part of what I pay for although dd1 doesn't always eat but that's another story

they also go to after school club and get tea at 5pm

so I never feed my children grin

on my days off they get their own now (9&11) so it's not always what you would consider a normal brakfast but it's always something cheese and beans with marmite on crumpets anyone?

Cherriesarelovely Tue 08-Jan-13 18:53:26

I just saw that too and thought it was pathetic.. we are all busy in the mornings, many of us are in a rush to get to work but this is ridiculous. I also thought it was stupid when the woman interveiwed said that she had little enough time so didn't want to waste it falling out with her son over breakfast! What's to fall out about?!

OwlLady Tue 08-Jan-13 18:55:11

mine have always had breakfast and they leave at 7.45 (two of them) BUT I can see how it can be difficult if you are on your own and have other complex situations to not be able to it through rush/lack of time etc (my dd is severely disabled)

i am rubbish anyway. i couldn't get my son to school until 10am and cried like a baby down the phone <bac kinjury, gut infested disabled child off>

Think before you judge

MrsKeithRichards Tue 08-Jan-13 18:55:38

Does a carton of orange and a cereal bar count?

That doesn't happen that often, honest.

I cannot physically go without breakfast. Ds is now the same. I run out of ideas beyond cereal, porridge or toast though.

cory Tue 08-Jan-13 18:57:06

Cherriesarelovely Tue 08-Jan-13 18:53:26
"I just saw that too and thought it was pathetic.. we are all busy in the mornings, many of us are in a rush to get to work but this is ridiculous. I also thought it was stupid when the woman interveiwed said that she had little enough time so didn't want to waste it falling out with her son over breakfast! What's to fall out about?! "

That depends on whether you have a child who enjoys eating in the morning or a child who finds it torture to have to eat in the morning. In our case, the thing to fall out over was whether dd should be forced to continue something that made her vomit or whether we should try to find an alternative solution.

Nuttyprofessor Tue 08-Jan-13 18:59:21

My DS year 7 goes to school without eating breakfast. He ate breakfast before this year but now gets up at 6.15 and travels on the bus to school. He says he cannot eat as he is not awake enough. I would make him anything he wanted but he just doesn't. I have put things in his bag to have on the way but they just come back.

I cannot force him to eat.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 08-Jan-13 18:59:34

This is totally unacceptable on several levels. Firstly how can a LA see this as normal and even the poorest people can afford a cheap breakfast. As for time after about the age of 5 kids can get their own breakfast. Either put serial plastic bowls etc in a low cupboard and milk jug in fridge/table. Mine have all helped themselves.
We are supposed to be teaching our children about economic living, healthy living etc as part of socialisation. I guess now that some parents have relinquished this responsibility PHSE is part of the curriculum for schools to follow. So in this respect the LA sees it as their responsibility now and some parents likewise.

OwlCatMouse Tue 08-Jan-13 18:59:49

DS went to a breakfast club because I left the house at 7am everyday. I could have got up earlier and dragged him out of bed as well, but I thought that would be cruel.

Once school restarts their breakfast club he'll go on the days that I'm working, so DP can get back in time to start work.

We're busy, there's an alternative, and I'd rather he ate proper breakfast than be rushed out the house.

NippyDrips Tue 08-Jan-13 19:03:00

Do those of us who use paid breakfast club child care count as lazy mums? Feeling a little guilty here.

firawla Tue 08-Jan-13 19:03:34

Breakfast club is a bit different, because the parents know they will be getting a breakfast there its not like just sending them in at 9am for class with nothing - wont they feel so hungry, and unable to concentrate and learn?? don't think busy is an excuse for that.

I do give mine toast on the walk to school if we are getting late but that is after they have already sat down and had cereal.

I don't give myself breakfast before dropping off to school cos i dont have time for that (i use their breakfast eating time to finish getting ready) but wouldn't make the dc miss out, can just imagine their outrage if i did tbh, it would be complaints all the way to school - they love their breakfast

MrsKeithRichards Tue 08-Jan-13 19:03:51

Being an avid breakfast muncher I didn't quite believe that there are people who just can't eat in the morning. I've been with dh for 11 years, I've seen him eat breakfast once. He doesn't eat before 10am.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Tue 08-Jan-13 19:04:43


DD occasionally tells me that she isn't hungry. Unfortunately it is tough, she has to eat breakfast before school.

Our routine is:
6.45am - up
6.45-7am - laze around/wake up (DD, Im normally in the kitchen doing lunch/putting a wash load in)
7-7.15 - breakfast made argued over
7.15-7.35 - breakfast eaten
7.35-8.15 am - washed and dressed for school
8.30 - leave house.

Looks so easy written down and like it's lots of time, but it is always hectic. If DD is on a 'I'm not eating' morning then I make her get dressed when she would normally eat breakfast. This tends to wake her up enough to jump start her appetite.

I have, in the past, done the school run while she munched on a banana and one time a packet of crisps! This was a one off and during my MH problems, I have always been obsessed with her getting a decent brekkie otherwise.

When we are running late, which happens occasionally, I will go without breakfast but always make sure she has it.

There is no reason IMO (with the exception for illness/MH problems/and separately, those children suffering neglect) for a parent to not provide a child with food.

exBrightonBell Tue 08-Jan-13 19:07:55

Breakfast clubs are not at all the same as what was being referred to in the news article. I'm not having a dig at people that use these - it's a childcare choice, one which I would use myself if I needed to. I also agree that everyone has occasional disaster mornings. But this school has had to accept that the majority of pupils do not have breakfast for the majority of the time - this is what I find astonishing.

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