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To not understand why people blame their dc for lack of sex

(151 Posts)
BabysPointlessPocket Tue 08-Jan-13 17:58:05

Seriously, I can't!
Is it just an easy excuse for women to use when they can't be bothered?
I have young dc, one also that I bf'd. It never affected my sex drive.
Maybe its just me and I shouldn't speak for others.

minibmw2010 Tue 08-Jan-13 17:58:47

No you shouldn't.

TaggieCampbellBlack Tue 08-Jan-13 18:00:03

No. You really shouldn't.

glenthebattleostrich Tue 08-Jan-13 18:00:03

It's not lack of sex drive, more the fact I'm bloody knackered and DD doesn't really sleep ever much and we have no babysitters nearby to take her off our hands.

Sirzy Tue 08-Jan-13 18:00:36

Maybe its just me and I shouldn't speak for others.


TaggieCampbellBlack Tue 08-Jan-13 18:00:46

Small house.

Thin walls.

Insomniac teenagers.

SneakyNuts Tue 08-Jan-13 18:00:48

Take your own advice.

Devora Tue 08-Jan-13 18:01:12

I'm happy for you, but can you really not understand the cumulative impact of chronic sleep deprivation, lack of sleep, stitches, stress, having your body colonised by small children?

Individual sexual desire varies; so do the degree to which people are affected by all the above. I completely believe that your sex drive is intact; I also find it easy to understand how others' take a dip.

BlackAffronted Tue 08-Jan-13 18:02:03

You are right, you shouldn't. Whoo[ee for you & your stealth boast.

I take it you dont have children who co-sleep, or who frequently wake up?

Or teenagers that stay up later than you do and have the room next to yours?

I take it you get the perfect amount of sleep and you arent stressed?

No you shouldn't speak for others, things affect people in different ways. I have unintentionally ended up co-sleeping as ds goes nuts if he has to sleep alone and screams until he's sick. It puts a bit of a dampener on things tbh.

KenLeeeeeee Tue 08-Jan-13 18:02:54

<golf clap for OP's fantabulous sex life>

StuntGirl Tue 08-Jan-13 18:03:33

YY to previous posters.

MoreCrackThanHarlem Tue 08-Jan-13 18:03:33

I blame dc because it sounds better than "I can't be arsed", or admitting I haven't trimmed my bikini line since the summer.
Blaming dc allows me to dodge responsibilities. I haven't cleaned the windows for a year either. Too busy with dc...

SneakyNuts Tue 08-Jan-13 18:03:49

Why did you go from "people" in your title, to "women" in your post?

PoppyWearer Tue 08-Jan-13 18:04:00

Please go and read the long-running thread in General Health about prolapses, fissures and the like and then almost all of the threads in Sleep, and a few in Childbirth to top it off.

Then you may understand.

Birdsgottafly Tue 08-Jan-13 18:04:09

Sex drive can be dictated by hormones, so what don't you understand exactly? Unless that is a revelation to you, did you not read any pregnancy and "post birth" books, then?

WorraLiberty Tue 08-Jan-13 18:04:26

Yeah you shouldn't speak for others on this subject or you're likely to make yourself come across as an enormous twat.


baremadness Tue 08-Jan-13 18:04:55

Yep lucky you

MurderOfGoths Tue 08-Jan-13 18:05:18

You might want to work on your powers of deduction and reasoning. Might come in useful before making daft comments.


wonkylegs Tue 08-Jan-13 18:05:41

Between the lack of sleep (nighttime waking, nightmares, sleepwalking and early starts) and the lack of privacy & daytime alone time, our sex life has taken a hit. It's not lack of sex drive (that very much alive thanks) but lack of opportunity! Not all kids fault (job pressures too) and it's not just sex that's taken a hit (reading, hobbies, pampering)
Now give us a weekend away alone and it would be a different story!

WaynettaSlobsLover Tue 08-Jan-13 18:06:14

No offence but that's one of the stupidest most smug and insensitive things I think I've ever read. You have one dc love. Good for you it didn't affect your sex drive. I would don the flame proof suit because you are going to need it.

ginhag Tue 08-Jan-13 18:06:48

<applauds worra's Top Tip>

OddBoots Tue 08-Jan-13 18:08:02

Mine caused no problem until they were old enough to stay up later and to know what the creaks and bangs might mean. hmm

ginhag Tue 08-Jan-13 18:08:07

Btw I can't be bothered trying to explain the ways kids can affect your sex life because you are way too fucking smug for it to be worth it

tomverlaine Tue 08-Jan-13 18:08:50

Agree with what most of the others have said.its not a simply a matter of sex drive- the practicalities of DC who don't sleep or co-sleep just remove the opportunity

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