MY DP has been out of work for over two years now. In Jan 2011 he was working in finance with a generous salary. but was made redundant as his boss wanted early retirement and closed the company.
In Feb 2011 dd was born and I am now 6 months pregnant with DC2 which is what we both wanted, we are delighted after trying for a year that I fell pregnant and feel very blessed.
I do a bit of book keeping in the evening when dd is in bed, but this pays only about £200 pcm. DP had a huge amount of savings and this is how we have managed to survive and pay the mortgage on his flat and live frugally for the past 2 years. (He had the flat before we met, we have been together for 5 years but not married - both fine with this.)
He has had job interviews (not many) but nothing has come of them. He is a wonderful man and father, but without a doubt, the type who waits for opportunities to come to him, rather than seeking them out.
I am now entering the third year of him unemployed and it is unbearable. He has been at home with me EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 2 years and it is stifling. I take dd to as many classes/groups as I can to give us space but he is depressed (although refuses to admit it) as he has nothing to get up for.
I have tried everything, GP. counsellor, life coach, friends, family getting involved - I even got him a temp job but he wants another high level corporate job and refuses to settle for anything less.
I have now reached the end of what I can do for him. He will not listen to me or our family and I am at my wits end. Our money is literally about to run out. I have no income to move into my own place to give him the kick up the ass that he needs and also don't want to take the children away from him as dd and soon to be dc2 is his only purpose and focus.
Every day he gets up late, goes online or reads, watches the lunchtime news and does nothing. I give him jobs to do and force him to take dd to soft play and out in the afternoon so he has a focus. He does go the gym regularly which is something but it is like living with a depressed man of retirement age. I now am struggling to keep smiling and am becoming so stressed worrying about the future for us as a family.
Returning to work is not an option until I've had the baby and even then I would not be able to earn what he did and I don't think as a SAHD he would take both children out regularly and give them the interaction they need.
I don't know what to do - it is literally a case of he refuses to work. He won't make any effort and whatever suggestion you throw at him to retrain, try a different career he rejects it and won't help himself. I love him but cannot live this life for any longer - it's really affecting my health and wellbeing.
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AIBU?
To not want to deal with DP anymore?
108 replies
attheendnow · 08/01/2013 14:34
OP posts:
TheSecondComing ·
08/01/2013 14:56
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TheSecondComing ·
08/01/2013 15:08
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