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To be unnerved about this man....

(155 Posts)
Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 15:33:31

One of my neighbours who I only know in passing has started cooking for me,I am not elderly nor do I live alone.
I am married and have 2 DC.Its not full meals or anything like that just samosas,onion basis things like that.
Initially I was very grateful and just assumed they were for all of us to share and perhaps he was lonely.

He is about 45 and very friendly,he does live alone with no children that I know of,but recently he has been dropping off food and commenting its only for me and has been very flirty and is constantly saying I am beautiful.I am now not eating the food anymore it just doesn't feel right. This only happens about once a month by the way it's not as if he cooking stuff every night.

Also he pushed a Christmas card through a couple of weeks ago which had all our names in spelt correctly including our DCs. Didn't know he knew their names.

It's all really come to a head now as I saw him last night in the street and he was again very flirty and telling me I'm beautiful. I felt so uneasy,bearing in mind he has never touched me or tried to enter the house AIBU?I don't know what I think will happen but it just feels inappropriate somehow. My DH hasn't really said much about the situation and is mildly amused although he doesn't know I saw him last night.

He seems like a very nice man but I'm worried for some reason.

Latara Sun 27-Jan-13 19:12:41

OMG are you sure he's not my dodgy neighbour too??

Except my dodgy neighbour is married (i'm not) & he has never offered food, only coffee (and i don't think it was just coffee IYKWIM).

Luckily my neighbour has recently been more 'normal' (he has a drink problem) & not bothered me for a few months. He's also scared of my dad, who visits my house quite often luckily.

I think it's annoying that your DH thinks it's 'amusing' - my dad found it funny, too. VERY annoying when one word from my dad would have scared off the dodgy neighbour months earlier.

You need to tell your DH it's time to get protective & get rid of this nuisance neighbour before you have stalker problems.

AmberLeaf Sun 27-Jan-13 18:37:00

Sounds like a real creep.

The sort that takes politeness as 'I want to have sex with you'

You say you dont want to be rude, but with men like this one that is exactly what you need to do, tell him to fuck off, you'll soon see what hes really about when you do, he'll prob give you a few choice misogynistic words back.

That, or tell your husband to have a word with him.

enjoyinglife Sun 27-Jan-13 18:13:18

I'd keep up the chilly attitude with him. If I doesn't work then it will at least be in a better position to call him on it.

Everythingwillbeok Sun 27-Jan-13 17:27:33

Hi guys thanks for all your responses and advice. I'm not on fb thank god as I suspect he would be looking me up on there. I've actually not seem him around for about ten days as the snow has kept everyone inside where we live.But then last night im putting something I the bin and I heard him call me through the bushes! I shouted you frightened me to death and he was laughing.

But as I was startled I was annoyed, I turned to walk back in and he shouts you like vodka? I said no not really- lie. Then he shouts come and have one with me......I said no I will not, and slammed the door. I hope he has got the message now as normally I chat with him as I don't want to be rude.So ill see what he is like next time I see him. Some if the responses on here have had me in stitches,but some have made me feel sick!

Callycat Sun 27-Jan-13 13:58:26

Holla: I know what you meant, my British Indian bf calls his 'Indian Indian' friend "brown boy" as part of laddish piss-talking. I wouldn't use it myself but it is a common in-joke in some circles.

bootsycollins Sun 27-Jan-13 13:39:05

He's grooming you, sounds really weird

GetOrf Sun 27-Jan-13 13:28:15

I doubt this bloke has jizzed in your samosas.

But he is overstepping the mark. Tell him that his remarks to you are inappropriate and as a married woman you are offended, and want him to stop.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sun 27-Jan-13 10:56:51

I was on the Fauntle line of thought from the beginning. I would feel uneasy eating something a virtual stranger had made for me in these circumstances. I can't believe this guy gives you the beautiful spiel knowing you have a DH. Pretty cheeky if you ask me.

wewereherefirst Sun 27-Jan-13 10:44:35

Fauntle- bullshit and lies.

The rest of this thread has had me grin

MimmeeBack Sun 27-Jan-13 10:19:19

envy << sick face

RuleBritannia Sun 27-Jan-13 10:08:10


RuleBritannia Sun 27-Jan-13 10:07:52

Fankly, Fauntle, that's the sort of thing that should be reported to the Police. Mumsnet officers, what's your opinion?

Fakebook Sun 27-Jan-13 09:13:58

Fauntle, you must be really fucked up in the head to make up a story like that. How pathetic.

scratchandsniff Sun 27-Jan-13 08:59:04

Hmmm mefinks Fauntle is telling porkies. Can't see how you could eat at a restaurant with friends and them not notice you putting jizz on your food.

You should definitely bin any future offerings from the neighbour.

LindyHemming Sun 27-Jan-13 08:58:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChristmasJubilee Sun 27-Jan-13 08:44:06

I must have led a very sheltered life!

OP don't accept anything else from this man. When he next speaks to you tell him you find his attention inappropriate and that it has to stop. Don't worry about being rude or upsetting him, his behaviour is not normal.

Are you on Facebook? Are your settings secure. Could he be a friend of a friend. It's better that he is not getting any information about you from anywhere else.

GetOrf Sun 27-Jan-13 08:34:53

Fauntle is taking the piss - don't believe it, he is probably a 17 year old lad having a wank at all our shock faces.

Softlysoftly Sun 27-Jan-13 08:22:55

Great why did I catch up on this thread at tea and toast time? Now all I can see are the words "slightly salted" on my butter sad

catladycourtney1 Sun 27-Jan-13 08:17:18

I hope he's adding his special ingredient before he cooks the food, and not after... what if he has something nasty? Eww. Well actually, I hope he isn't adding it at all, but I think that's probably being too naive.

Maybe it's just a cultural thing? Not even cultural really, but to do with his upbringing. Maybe he equates feeding you with showing love and affection. Maybe he's a feeder! He's trying to get you so fat that your husband won't want you and then he can get you to go round and crush him with your belly.

I think my imagination is working too hard for this time in a morning. You should definitely get your dh to step in, though. He might not be quite as harmless as you think.

stifnstav Sun 27-Jan-13 08:11:57

I'm retching at fauntle!

Seriously, cut open a cake and see if any white liquid comes out? Like a spunk-based melt in the middle pudding?!

I would bin anything he gave. I don't eat things made by children, let alone potential sex-chefs.

ClartyCarol Sun 27-Jan-13 08:10:38

What a load of balls. That was to Fauntie obv.

OP, hope you've managed to put your admirer/stalker off.

RuleBritannia Sun 27-Jan-13 08:05:34

Thanks, Fauntle. You have put me off my breakfast. I'm glad I don't know you.

MariusEarlobe Sun 27-Jan-13 07:47:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zignzag Sun 27-Jan-13 07:30:19

Fauntle ... Your obviously telling big fat tales!! Great imagination .....

Maybe you could get this guys address and pay him a visit. You would make a great couple and problem solved for op!! No more spunky cuisine.

Montybojangles Sun 27-Jan-13 07:23:24

Can honestly say that tipping cold conjealed spunk onto my steak in a restaurant is never going to rock my boat Fauntle

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