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To be unnerved about this man....

(155 Posts)
Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 15:33:31

One of my neighbours who I only know in passing has started cooking for me,I am not elderly nor do I live alone.
I am married and have 2 DC.Its not full meals or anything like that just samosas,onion basis things like that.
Initially I was very grateful and just assumed they were for all of us to share and perhaps he was lonely.

He is about 45 and very friendly,he does live alone with no children that I know of,but recently he has been dropping off food and commenting its only for me and has been very flirty and is constantly saying I am beautiful.I am now not eating the food anymore it just doesn't feel right. This only happens about once a month by the way it's not as if he cooking stuff every night.

Also he pushed a Christmas card through a couple of weeks ago which had all our names in spelt correctly including our DCs. Didn't know he knew their names.

It's all really come to a head now as I saw him last night in the street and he was again very flirty and telling me I'm beautiful. I felt so uneasy,bearing in mind he has never touched me or tried to enter the house AIBU?I don't know what I think will happen but it just feels inappropriate somehow. My DH hasn't really said much about the situation and is mildly amused although he doesn't know I saw him last night.

He seems like a very nice man but I'm worried for some reason.

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 16:51:40


Everythingwillbeok Mon 07-Jan-13 16:54:28

Oh dear.

I feel ill. shock

Pinot Mon 07-Jan-13 16:55:01

I would be honest with him and tell him you find his level of attention uncomfortable and won't be accepting any more gifts.

Honesty is good - hopefully he'll learn a bit about boundaries and the next woman he takes a shine to will receive a more appropriate advance.

If he's kind, theres no need to tell a lie/make up stories or get DH to tell him.

And yes, I think he probably is making your food whilst naked and excited. Ewww.

Greensleeves Mon 07-Jan-13 16:56:39

but seriously, you are joking, right? Unless he is a serial killer, surely people don't really really actually do this!

OP. They are shitting you.

Fakebook Mon 07-Jan-13 16:57:47

Wtf? shock. Are you talking about sperm in food? No way! Who'd do that?

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 16:58:39

I'm not. It happens. Could be worse,could be a Herman!

Katla Mon 07-Jan-13 16:59:36

Ug, best not to think about that possibility.

Trust your instincts - if you are getting vibes that something isn't right then give him the message that the attention isn't welcome or just start avoiding him.

I used to do high volume recruitment for a large store and gave one guy 'Shahid' a job (his previous job sounded rubbish - working nightshift in a freezer dept of a supermarket so he got frostbite on his fingers!) He was very grateful and appeared to think he owed me something or that I had particularly liked him - when he'd just said he was willing to work in the restaurant and he was breathing (we really struggled to get applicants for that area!) He used to bring me gifts and stuff and I had to ask him to stop. However he also had a kind of 'bowing down' to me manner and appear in my office all the time which made me uncomfortable so I used to try to avoid him.

Selks Mon 07-Jan-13 17:03:30

OMG Icelolly, that is so mean (but very very funny grin)

OP, he's probably just lonely and maybe you were casually friendly to him one time and now he has got a little over attached to being friendly with you. He probably means no harm. A polite 'oh how kind, but please don't make me any more as I'm going on a diet' should do the trick. And he may be isolated due to social anxiety or whatever really; doesn't mean he is odd or something weird about him.

suburbophobe Mon 07-Jan-13 17:04:43

Yes, what special ingredient? <thick>

I would be creeped out by this too and certainly wouldn't be encouraging him by telling him I'm on a health kick! Next thing you know he'll be delivering "healthy food". hmm

I wouldn't engage with him at all frankly, just a curt hallo when necessary. (I have a neighbour too who I try to avoid, he's weird...).

I think you need your husband to take your feelings about him more seriously.

Did he get your DC's names from the other neighbour maybe?

And I agree with Cailleach, some men don't respect boundaries.

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 17:04:51


Greensleeves Mon 07-Jan-13 17:09:38

you evil frozen dessert you shock

suburbophobe Mon 07-Jan-13 17:12:24

Oh ugh, Icelolly eeeeuuuwwww!

Proudnscary Mon 07-Jan-13 17:12:55

I think you should definitely sperm his advances from now on, tell him he mustn't come round to your house anymore. It will take a lot of spunk on your behalf but it will be worth it to see the back of him.

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 17:14:53


No, I refuse to believe anyone would do that.

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 17:15:41

Proud grin

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 17:16:02

Oh, you sweet, innocent thing you. I want to cuddle you. grin

HecatePropolos Mon 07-Jan-13 17:16:36

Just don't ask to borrow a pint of milk, eh OP? grin

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 17:19:52


ResolutelyCheeky Mon 07-Jan-13 17:23:44

Don't bother with the health kick thing. His extra ingredient is practically a high protein, low carb health food. grin

ArkadyRose Mon 07-Jan-13 17:25:25

Sadly, some people are that creepy. I've worked in a number of kitchens as a patisserie chef, and I remember the time I caught one of the sous chefs adding a "special extra ingredient" to a particular dish intended for one of the silver service waitresses at a particular hotel.

(Yes, he got the sack. I don't know how many other "special" dishes he'd served up before I spotted him doing it though.)

WifeofPie Mon 07-Jan-13 17:26:02

Sorry for you troubles, OP. He sounds like a bit of a creeper; best to avoid and apologies but....


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha grin.

Seriously though, EW.

Icelollycraving Mon 07-Jan-13 17:27:17

I may actually namechange to Onion Bhajiz. I've been too bloody lazy to nc before.

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 17:29:40

We seriously need a [boggle] here.

WifeofPie Mon 07-Jan-13 17:30:10

Do it!

donteatthefiggypudding Mon 07-Jan-13 17:31:15

yep. people have indeed added their very own special ingredient to dishes.

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