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To order myself a mail order bride?

(38 Posts)
44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 13:13:35

Now, I am totally against any sort of human trafficking, slavery (which I understand is at its highest levels in history) or prostitution.

Bearing that in mind, would I be unreasonable to offer to marry one of the nice young ladies who emails me offering companionship etc?

Dh has done the sahp thing for a couple of days and it's fab. I think I need someone at home to do the school run, be a bit domestic and generally take e pressure off.

On the plus side for the mail order bride, so would not have to sleep with me or fake affection for me. Or generally live with a grotty old man. I reckon on my (pathetic ) salary I could afford to divorce dh ( he and I can live in sin) and have a civil partnership with new mail order bride and pay her minimum wage.

Totally unethical? Presumably she is keen to come to uk. Or do I need to look elsewhere for a more ethical domestic ménage a trois?

Daddelion Wed 09-Jan-13 08:08:00

I think two wives in the same house would be like the irresistible force meets the immovable object.

What if there was a difference of opinion on which way the toilet paper should hang?

44SoStartingOver Wed 09-Jan-13 07:09:52

Cleaner won't do I'm afraid. I want someone who goes that bit further. Anticipates my needs a bit. Occasionally pampers me. She still would not need to sleep with me.

WaspFactory Tue 08-Jan-13 10:45:00


Psammead Tue 08-Jan-13 10:33:36

I'd love a wife. Or a housekeeper.

EyesCrossedLegsAkimbo Tue 08-Jan-13 10:29:09

No no, to wages! Housekeeping allowance grin

Fakebook Tue 08-Jan-13 10:12:30

Get a cleaner.

Anniegetyourgun Tue 08-Jan-13 10:10:51

If you're married/partnered it's not a wage, it's an allowance. Got to get the terminology right if you want to keep Immigration off your necks.

SarahStratton Tue 08-Jan-13 10:07:32

Thought as much grin

catgirl1976 Tue 08-Jan-13 07:42:09


It was the vodka smile

SarahStratton Mon 07-Jan-13 23:22:30

passed out cat?

catgirl1976 Mon 07-Jan-13 22:55:50

I would like a Russian bride

I have always wanted (needed) a wife and she might bring Vodka


maddening Mon 07-Jan-13 22:52:05

grin abbier

Apparently guaranteed sex dating is the way to go shock

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 22:40:54

Yes, maybe I was being a little unreasonable, you should choose her on her domestic and taking-children-to-school abilities

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 22:33:07

Is is not rather wrong to choose a bride for comedic purposes? I know I don't have the moral high ground here, but maybe I should compromise with a plain homely wife?

Or better yet, a lesbian wife. Who knows I offer her my gratitude, respect and a small wage? But no sexual demands??

abbierhodes Mon 07-Jan-13 22:33:04

Maddening- where would you have sex, other than in 'your area'? I thought that was what my 'area' was for! confused grin

BaronessBomburst Mon 07-Jan-13 22:31:29

So next year we'll be able to spot MNers not by their scarves, but by their interesting domestic set-ups. grin

<off to open hotmail account and wait for spam>

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 22:29:26

Good answer, I think do both. Make yourself bee yoo tiful an also get a bride who looks like the chap from Little Britain for pure comedy purposes smile

Cultivate sexy accent, store and use for special occasions

hiddenhome Mon 07-Jan-13 22:29:08

Oh yeah, I want a big strapping lass to carry the coal in and chop the wood grin

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 22:27:05

Ah, no worries. I will have more time on my hands to make myself bee-yoo-tiful.

I can also cultivate a sexy accent.

Or play safe and choose myself a bride who looks like the chap from little Britain?

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 22:24:36

Word of advice, make sure she's ugly. You wouldn't want the DH getting any ideas...

hiddenhome Mon 07-Jan-13 21:53:32

I'd like a Russian bride. I'm trying to learn Russian so she could help me. I would, in return, buy her blinis from sainsburys [ smile]

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 21:44:21

Absolutely, you're completely on to something here!!

44SoStartingOver Mon 07-Jan-13 21:38:59

I am sure that a young woman would rather be married to a considerate charming woman like me rather than a sweaty pervy old man. I am quite a nice life partner and would be even nicer with someone at home to pick up the slack.

BJunction Mon 07-Jan-13 21:32:56

I admire your creative thinking, I think YANBU and in fact have an excellent idea that I can see people taking advantage of with our new civil partnership laws... Awesome idea... Totally not off to have a quick chat to the other half and take at Mail Order Bride websites

maddening Mon 07-Jan-13 16:01:01

I am only getting offers of guaranteed sex in my area sad I have enough sex in my area but no offers of russian wives sad sad

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