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am i been unreasonable my daughters pregnant again

(136 Posts)
alycia Mon 07-Jan-13 10:58:06

hi everyone and a happy new year.need to unburden and need advice please.ive posted on here before regarding my daughter and my grandson. shes 17 and my gs is 15months i care for him full time have done since june last year as she couldnt cope with been a full time mum. ive just found yesturday shes pregnant again to a new lad shes about 5 weeks. why have another one when im looking after her first child. she states shes keeping the baby. ive said to her she cant cope and shes selfish not talking to her at the moment im mad angry and upset havent slept and just dont no what to do with her. i really feel like disowning her for sick of her shit shes making me feel ill. doctor wants me on antidepressents. where did i go so wrong.

Corygal Wed 09-Jan-13 00:23:38

As it happens, I think a miscarriage is exactly the right time for OP to explain she can't take on any more unwanted children. Go for it, OP.

Boomerwang Wed 09-Jan-13 00:31:26

Sorry I have NOT read the thread.

All I want to say is at this point it's time to get her some help. Not give it, but help her get it for herself. This includes help for her first child. The reason I am so sure/adamant is because I'm witness to a very similar situation in my own life. I don't know who you should call. Try sure start or a young mothers program. You need to be a grandmother, not a mother. The best thing you can do is to hand your grandchild over to your daughter and help with practical matters such as applications and/or appointments rather than childcare.

alycia Fri 11-Jan-13 09:57:28

i wont hand him back.latest news went to court for the residence order it couldnt be granted as gs mum and dad didnt turn up at court so got to go bck feb now. she is 7weeks pregnant ive seen the scan and shes keeping it. told her i wont be bringing anymore up.ive also told ss who said oh ok well she might be better this time around can you believe it i cannot

alycia Fri 11-Jan-13 10:00:42

asked solicitor about an allowence and she said i wont get one because im not a carer or fosterer but family and his nan

Nancy66 Fri 11-Jan-13 10:05:28

Gosh Alycia you have a lot on your plate.

I think you are right to step back from your daughter for a while. She needs to sort herself out and also understand that you have a life of your own and can't keep picking up the pieces of hers.

Some people go through life just fucking it up at every turn - i have a young cousin like this. In the end if they refuse all help you just have to leave them to it.

As nice as he seems now the reality is that the father of your daughter's unborn child is unlikely to stick around for very long after it's born - as long as SS are poised (and it sounds like they are) then just leave them to it. you've done all you can.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 11-Jan-13 10:08:35

Good job money grows on trees hmm you are a good soul bringing GS up with your two little girls but it shouldn't mean your eldest DD takes you for granted. Hope she matures sooner than later.

alycia Fri 11-Jan-13 10:15:44

all i can do is hope and pray that she does i really do.i also took myself to doctors as i wasnt feeling so good im now on prozac and got to go through councelling soz cnt spell it. feel like a failure

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 11-Jan-13 10:19:03

Up to a point we can raise our children and have control over them, beyond that we either hope they don't repeat our mistakes or have the wisdom to sort out the consequences. Glad you saw your GP alycia you need all your energy and wits about you, good luck with counselling.

alycia Fri 11-Jan-13 10:22:01

tbh i really dont want to go or to be on tablets but i had to in the end as i just couldnt cope with it all

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 11-Jan-13 10:25:07

Nobody wants to admit they need help but what have you got to lose by accepting a pick-me-up, it'll be one worry less, "your health is your wealth".

alycia Fri 11-Jan-13 10:28:25

true true thanks so muchx

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