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To hate My DM justifying child abuse

(6 Posts)
Oliveoila Sun 06-Jan-13 01:54:42

I've name changed for this.
Basically my DM was telling me of a two year boy we both know who is fully toilet trained. He happened to dirty himself and got beaten up DM. Whilst I felt physically disgusted and told DM about how I felt. I stated that one needs to be patient because he is a child, DM completely defended the ladies actions. This is not the first time violence is often used as it was for me and siblings when younger. As a mother to DD I would never do this to a child.
DM also agrees to slapping child when they are cheeky, won't eat etc. DM is from an uneducated pakistsni heritage and believes children should be taught respect by physical means. I hate these views and can't understand anyone justifying them.

LoopsInHoops Sun 06-Jan-13 01:57:10

I read an article recently of a 2 year old girl who was killed by her dad after a soiling incident sad

garlicbollocks Sun 06-Jan-13 02:00:33

YANBU at all. My mother's finally got the message that I despise all forms of violence towards children, under any circumstances, but I know she still justifies it to herself.

Do you have children of your own?

Oliveoila Sun 06-Jan-13 02:02:21

Yes I do. Ive never left her with DM and DD is now 6.

Oliveoila Sun 06-Jan-13 02:03:54

Just to confirm not everyone in the Pakistani community agrees with violence against children. I don't want to come across like that.

garlicbollocks Sun 06-Jan-13 03:11:10

No, there are 'traditionalists' of all nations who can't tell the difference between respect and fear. Unfortunately, those who were reared with violence often raise their own children the same way. You deserve to be proud of yourself for having chosen to break that cycle smile

It's sad that you can't leave your daughter with her grandmother, but i think you are wise. My parents hit their grandchildren sad

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