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AIBU?

To think life will get harder with boys

62 replies

notnagging · 05/01/2013 21:42

I have 5. I feel like the odd one out. They are currently playing monopoly with their dad. I asked that they were in bed by 9 in prep for the school run next week. If I say anything now it will look like I'm spoiling their fun. I feel like the older they get the more I'll get left out. I do alot with them & appreciate they're dad being so hands on but I can't help feeling increasingly left out.

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Blue81 · 05/01/2013 22:01

A lil bit unreasonable I think. I think boys are really loving towards their mums and being a lone parent I would be happy if my boys dads took a bigger role in their lives.

However I do feel your frustration at wanting them in bed and their dad ignoring this.

I don't think you need to worry, they will always want their mum :)

notnagging · 05/01/2013 22:04

Thanks blue. I hope so. I get alot of comments about my boys not needing me anymore when they are teenagers & I will feel not having a girl, mostly from strangers in the street!

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FriendlyLadybird · 05/01/2013 22:06

Why were you the only one not playing Monopoly? It's not a gender-specific game.

It sounds to me as if you need to have some words with your partner (husband?) about being a parent and not one of the boys. He should have been able to bring the game to a close at 9 if that's what you had agreed.

destinationanywhere · 05/01/2013 22:07

I have 4 boys and feel this too.

Booyhoo · 05/01/2013 22:07

erm, what is preventing you from playing the game with them? and also, if bedtime is to be at 9 then your DH needs to reinforce that and end the game at quarter too and get them all ready to go up. your problem isn't that you have boys, it's that your partner isn't parenting with you!

sparklyjumper · 05/01/2013 22:08

I have a boy and don't feel like that, infact I think you're really lucky to have all your sons. If I could I'd love a house full of boys.

And go join in monopoly.

OutInAllWeathers · 05/01/2013 22:11

YABU, life with children has ups and downs regardless of gender. I have all boys too but have learnt to ignore comments from others and focus on my own family.

verytellytubby · 05/01/2013 22:11

I have a DD and twin sons and don't feel that at all.

idobelieveinfairies · 05/01/2013 22:12

I am the opposite, I have 6 boys and have more in common with them than my daughters! As teenagers I find the boys appreciate what I do for them and are more respectful to me. I find boys are easier.

MrsKeithRichards · 05/01/2013 22:12

I know how you feel. I sometimes feel left out when ds and dh are totally engrossed in transformers or fishing or bombing about off road but he still snuggles to me for stories and we bake cakes.

You will have special things you do with your boys, they will always need you.

3monkeys3 · 05/01/2013 22:12

I have 2 boys and a girl. YAB a bit U - you need to have the best bash you can at hanging out with them. My dd is a bit of a tomboy (apart from the clothes) and I just get on with it and do whatever they want - I'd rather do things out of my own comfort zone and be with my children than stick within it and not be with them.

notnagging · 05/01/2013 22:13

Yes I think that is a major issue as well. I think he fails to reinforce what I've said & does think he's reliving his youth a bit. I'm cringing already thinking about him being the trendy dad trying to keep up with his sons!

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sparklyjumper · 05/01/2013 22:14

Just saying, but I know you said bedtime is 9, but if they haven't finished monopoly, you can't just leave the game unfinished.

notnagging · 05/01/2013 22:14

I didn't want to join in as I told them we would play when we had more time tmw. I had already told them that they needed to go to bed but I have been in bed with flu so wasn't there to supervise bed time.

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PomBearWithAnOFRS · 05/01/2013 22:17

I have 4 boys and a girl, and in the "long dark teatime of the soul" wee small hours, I sometimes think that, although DD is wonderful, she is "more work" than all four of the boys put together iykwim. I worry more about her, and have many more "what ifs" than I do about the boys, possibly because I was a teenage girl once and got away with all sorts that horrify me now, when I think about her doing them
I always wanted seven sons, from being a child, I set my heart on them but it wasn't to be. When DD was born the midwife (who I daresay meant well) said "ahh a girl - every woman should have a daughter and now you have yours" and I just looked blankly at her and said "why?" and she didn't answer...
DD is in the middle, 2 older and 2 younger brothers, and I do like that, so I don't get all the "ooo you kept going to get a girl" type remarks.
And they will always need you - no matter what gender they are, you're their mam, and nothing can ever change that.
People will comment on something no matter what gender/how many DCs you have, or if you have none at all, it's human nosy nature to pass comment on people over random things like that
I get stick for having five - my stock reply is "well once we found out what was causing them we stopped doing it and haven't had any since"

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 05/01/2013 22:18

YANBU. We have four. I feel your pain. Not all the time but sometimes. I just spent an hour MNing whilst they watched an action adventure with much CGI - what ever that is.

I'm lucky my youngest is only 2 but the oldest three! Oh. My. Word. Luckily DH can see it is hard to be out numbered and pokes them to move towards something that's interesting to me.

I think it will get better though as they get older and girls and their interests are worth an explore plus their interests gets less polarised. I await a girlfriend at our table

notnagging · 05/01/2013 22:18

I know sparkly, monopoly takes hours which is why I said we'd play it tmw! They are very good at persuading him, especially when I'm not around.
We do alot together & have alot of fun. I just feel the lack of females in the house sometimes. Everyone says its different when you have both.

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DeWe · 05/01/2013 22:20

Would they like hot chocolate before bed?
If that was happeneing here, I'd go in and ask who wanted it, then say I'd make it, then the game finishes, they drink it and go up to bed. They think hot chocolate is enough of a treat to do that without moaning.

notnagging · 05/01/2013 22:24

Ha Pom, that is true. I was a nightmare teen & often wonder how I'd cope with a girl like me!

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DeWe · 05/01/2013 22:24

And you can cash up monopoly. That's what we've been doing. Set a time limit, and cash up at that point. Ds is only 5yo and doesn't have the sticking power for more than 90 minutes on it. The others would play on a bit but I think at present the death match method would go on too long for all except my eldest who would like it to as long as she won

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 05/01/2013 22:25

Would suggest looking at your post at 2213, I don't feel outnumbered as a female often because we as adults are also outnumbered. Can you talk to DH to become a more united front? My DH keeps me sane until first girlfriend turns up

notnagging · 05/01/2013 22:26

I was like that about the hobbit tea makes. Dh took them as I could think of nothing worse. I do sit through other films though but any hint if romance & it's 'eurgh, a chick flick!'

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notnagging · 05/01/2013 22:28

Good idea dewe. I bought monopoly millionaires because the reviews said it was quicker & harder to cheat. Obviously not!

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Anniegetyourgun · 05/01/2013 22:31

Your problem is not that you have 5 boys but that you have 6.

I had to stop at 4, myself, for time and resource reasons, but they're all lovely. Fortunately their dad isn't around to undermine me any more.

notnagging · 05/01/2013 22:31

Very true tea. I think dh does more for an easy life whilst I'd rather think ahead to how they'll be tmw. It's funny as our childhoods were opposite. His parents were very strict & mine were slack so we seem to have adopted the opposite parenting styles!

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