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AIBU?

To think that taking ages in the family shower cubicle at the gym when you know there is another family waiting, is selfish and bad manners?

30 replies

hermioneweasley · 05/01/2013 21:39

That's pretty much it. Gym has one family shower area, big enough for 3 or 4, seat for the kids, can take shower unit down to hose kids down etc. more convenient than trying to manage them in the small stalls with fixed heads - picking up slippery kids to get them under the spray etc. when we got out of the pool, this shower area was in use. Must have been there for at least 5 mns already. Woman saw we were waiting (looked around the curtain and then pulled it shut again) and just stayed in there for ages, lathering. Gave up in the end and took the kids into the small stalls. By the time we were out and half dressed she and daughter emerged. Must have been at least 20 mins. She was also talking her to DD (who looked about 6) about the benefits of "fat burning exercise".

AIBU to think she was selfish when she could see another family waiting? I don't take 20 mins at home!

(I don't care if I ABU re fat burning exercise - I judged and will continue to judge about putting this in a young girl's awareness).

OP posts:
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pjmama · 05/01/2013 21:44

Nobody likes having to wait, but you have no more right to the family cubicle than she does. I used to get really annoyed and getting dirty looks from people waiting for baby changing rooms, when I'd been in there changing my twins. I find the "how dare you take so long when I am waiting" attitude entitled and rude.

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FeckOffCup · 05/01/2013 22:02

I can see how it was annoying, I took DD swimming yesterday and was waiting to dry my hair afterwards, the pool has 3 hairdryers but 2 were out of order and the third was being used by a family with 3 little girls all with long hair who monopolised it for ages, but at the end of the day they were there first in both our cases so they had every right to use the facility until they were finished with it.

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Sirzy · 05/01/2013 22:05

It might be annoying but they were using the faculties provided just unfortunate they needed them at the same time as you

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Toughasoldboots · 05/01/2013 22:09

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Toughasoldboots · 05/01/2013 22:10

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MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 05/01/2013 22:11

They've done studies and found that people take LONGER when they know others are waiting (for the toilet, I think this study was). Some people are bastards.

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gordyslovesheep · 05/01/2013 22:13

yabu a bit - you can manage - depending on kids ages they can stand under a shower themselves and you can even not wash them at all

Glaring and other passive aggressive stuff makes me want to go very very slooooowly

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hammyimo · 05/01/2013 22:14

God yanbu. After group swimming lessons at our pool there are only 2 showers. There's one girl, who I swear is trained to leap out of the pool and get in their first. she then takes at least 20 minutes to wash her hair, condition it, use shower gel - taking time out from time to time to dab her eyes - whilst all the others stand there freezing. It makes me spit bile - not at her but her dm who allows it.

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1944girl · 05/01/2013 22:18

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MajesticWhine · 05/01/2013 22:19

YABU - you had no more right to be in there and I doubt they stayed in there out of bad manners, nobody wants to hang around in the shower for ages with their kids do they?

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lockets · 05/01/2013 22:21

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itsmineitsmine · 05/01/2013 22:32

Yabu and precious. You had other means to get your dc clean. She was there first.

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ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 05/01/2013 22:36

Surely if she only had one child she didn't even need to go in the family shower?

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ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 05/01/2013 22:37

I mean, I'm the size of a small truck and I'd just take one 6 year old into the normal shower cubical and leave the family one free - for someone with a couple of small children to manage or someone who has an older or less mobile child with SN or even say an older couple where one needs help - I just don't see the need to use it with just one 6 yo. Selfish IMO.

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gordyslovesheep · 05/01/2013 22:38

surely two people don't normally share a shower if the big shower is available?

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tittytittyhanghang · 05/01/2013 23:16

YABU, its first come first served. Its a family shower, so i would assume it was a mother and daugter i.e. family. Its not a larger family shower or a shower for sn neither. She is entitled to take as long as she likes imo.

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CloudsAndTrees · 05/01/2013 23:52

Yabu. I don't think it's selfish, it's just doing what you need to do. I take ages in the shower because I have really thick long hair, so it takes a while to wash and condition and get all the post swimming knots out.

I wouldn't go home without washing it properly just because someone else was waiting if I have as much right to use facilities as anyone else.

I realise I'm talking about myself more than me as part of a family, bit that's because I have boys so I get to send them off to be showered with DH! The same principle still applies though, as it does when we all use a family changing room.

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WorraLiberty · 05/01/2013 23:57

YABU, you managed didn't you?

Not sure what your problem is with discussing fat burning exercise...it's not different to discussing muscle building exercise or cardiovascular exercise.

It's not like she called the child fatty boom boom or anything.

If she did, then my apologies.

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mumeeee · 06/01/2013 00:05

YABU 20 minutes is not that long and she was there first.

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tittytittyhanghang · 06/01/2013 00:39

Worra i call my child fatty boom boom hes 2 and thats his favourite song :D

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ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 06/01/2013 00:43

Surely we don't need to label showers as 'Larger Family/Mixed Sex/SN' for people to use their common sense?? One adult and one 6 year old do not need to use a bigger shower cubicle than an ordinary one - thus it is selfish to do so and make others wait.

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FreePeaceSweet · 06/01/2013 02:26

If its free then surely it makes sense to use the bigger shower? You'll be out faster.

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LuluMai · 06/01/2013 02:59

This is not answering the OP's question but another thing that annoys me about swimming baths is when people leaves their kids' clothes in the cubicles instead of lockers, thus rendering them unusable for anyone else (well not me cause I'll still use the cubicles whether or not there are clothes in there- you don't get to reserve cubicles).

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Imaginethat · 06/01/2013 03:09

It may be annoying but it's not the fault of other gym users, it's just terrible facilities. There should of course be more showers etc

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SomersetONeil · 06/01/2013 06:54

Personally, I agree with you and think you are not being unreasonable in the slightest - but that is because I absolutely hate, hate, hate to keep people waiting. It makes me a bit panicky and uncomfortable.

My DH on the other hand, would say you were being utterly unreasonable. His opinion is that you take the time you need to take, and don't worry about keeping people you don't even know waiting. Don't get me wrong - he doesn't advocate taking the piss but he really hates it when I rush and stress to save other people and get myself all bothered and flustered in the process.

I can see his logic, but it makes no difference to my brain which hates to needlessly inconvenience others.

So - I can see and totally relate to your side, but am also aware of the other school of thought on this issue and can see their side, too. In fact, sometimes I wish I was more like them...

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