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Dh furious with me

(43 Posts)
1991all Sat 05-Jan-13 21:24:12

because I haven't booked flights for a holiday we are going on in 6 months time.

And because he asked me to deal with something with a friend of his and his friend kept emailing/calling him for confirmation, even though I did give him all the details
And he was too busy yesterday
And I only have DS to look after, and he works

Oh, and because some show he wanted to watch is in subtitles

He has thrown a bottle of water on the floor and has splattered pasta sauce on the lampshades, which isn't going to come off

Grapesoda Sun 06-Jan-13 17:11:50

This must be awful for you.
When it's safe to do so (maybe when he's gone to work) contact women's aid. They will give you emotional support support nd practical ad legal advice.
Thinking of you.

HappyNewHissy Sun 06-Jan-13 17:04:33


This man is abusive. Tell them so. You need individual therapy NOW, and yes, definitely LTB.

1991all Sun 06-Jan-13 17:00:13

And another thing he's pissed off about is that the bank manager called him to tell him the account was overdrawn.
He's furious that I didn't speak to the manager and tell him not to call dh because he's too busy
They did call me, I transferred money, end of issue, but no, I should have told the manager never to call dh because he's far too important.

It's a joint account

1991all Sun 06-Jan-13 16:29:23

He will back down from the financial blackmail
Next will come the 'woe is me' act, already got that one lined up

I've just read that thread. It's exactly the type of thing dh would kick off about
And if Blue can get rid of him at 36 weeks, I'm sure I can figure this out. She's amazing!

TalkativeJim Sun 06-Jan-13 14:47:16

Then you transfer it first.

If you don't have access to it, tell him you will leave immediately if he doesn't give you access to it. Then transfer it, write 'THANKS FOR NOTHING, CAPTAIN CRAPFACE' on a pair of his dirty pants, lay them out on the bed and leave.

I'm in a BAD mood today.

But if I were you OP I'd be in a worse one. I hope you manage to ditch this tosser.

1991all Sun 06-Jan-13 14:04:12

Own-both on the mortgage

I think I have a solution, but I have to think it through
He's being a c*nt now
First thing he did was threaten to transfer all the money

MumVsKids Sun 06-Jan-13 11:38:10

Do you own or rent the house?

Are you both on the mortgage/tenancy agreement?

Women's Aid? If you seriously want him gone, there are people who will help.

1991all Sun 06-Jan-13 09:05:35

I know how it's going to play
I'm going to ask him to leave, He's going to say we can't afford it
He has nowhere to go, neither do DS and I
He can afford it, if he organises his money better

I need a good solicitor
Any recommendations?
I've seen 2 before, but they weren't inspiring.
I'm in SW London

ErikNorseman Sun 06-Jan-13 08:58:38

What are you going to do?

1991all Sun 06-Jan-13 08:34:20

What's the 'would you eat this' thread

1991all Sun 06-Jan-13 08:32:57

Thanks for the support
My phone died last night and I didn't want to come downstairs, where he was, to get the charger

I've had it
He can't keep his temper under control
He is selfish, arrogant, and so controlling

We have one DS.

Chandon Sun 06-Jan-13 08:26:33

Shakey, saying it sounds like a 7 year old is an insult to 7 year olds! Even. 3 year old would not behave like that

LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas Sun 06-Jan-13 08:16:19

Read the 'would you eat this' thread

sashh Sun 06-Jan-13 08:14:50

The cycle is part of the abuse, if keeps you off kilter, he is nice just long enough for you to stay.


ImperialBlether Sat 05-Jan-13 23:57:09

If you are on ADs because of your marriage, it's time to get out.

flow4 Sat 05-Jan-13 23:54:18

My DS(17) did this a few times last year, 1991. If you were to look over in Teenagers, you'd see that quite a lot of teens aged about 13-17 do it. The standard advice is that if you are hurt, or threatened, or feel afraid, call 999... You need to draw a very clear line and show him that you will not tolerate violence and abuse - because that is what throwing things around in rage is. You can't control him, so if he can't control himself, you need to call for help.

But really, it's pretty grim to think that your husband is behaving just like a hormonal teenager, isn't it? sad

manicbmc Sat 05-Jan-13 23:32:41

He needs to handle his own friends.

He needs to wash his pants if you are away - does he expect you to rush home to do it?

He needs to clear up his messy strop aftermath.

He needs to realise you are a person, and his wife, and the mother of his child and you deserve every bit as much respect as you give him.

Dawndonna Sat 05-Jan-13 23:14:18

time to go.

BagCat Sat 05-Jan-13 22:52:10

He is being unreasonable. And he ain't gonna change.

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 05-Jan-13 22:47:56

"Excuse me - I'm not usually this confrontational - but you're taking anti-depressants for HIS anger issues ? That's not right on so many levels."
Absolutely spot on. sad

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Sat 05-Jan-13 22:26:05

I don't care if he cools off and begs forgiveness - you need to leave this controlling twat. What a nasty shit he is. What's stopping you?

EllenParsons Sat 05-Jan-13 22:24:26

He really sounds horrible OP sad

AgentZigzag Sat 05-Jan-13 22:22:43

I don't mind washing undies, and I wouldn't mind DH asking if I knew where any were if he didn't have any.

But I would mind him creating about it.

It'd make me wonder what he was really getting irate at, because not having any clean shreddies is only a minor irritation, not in the slightest something that should cause an argument on it's own.

It's someone looking for conflict, and I wouldn't be happy being an outlet for someone else to get off on whenever the mood took them.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Sat 05-Jan-13 22:22:02

Leave the water and pasta sauce where they are, and then leave him. Do you have children with this man-child?
You can do without pandering and tiptoeing around your own home, needing antidepressants! because of his behaviour - he is forty ffs, he's a grown up and needs to start acting like one confused

PleasePudding Sat 05-Jan-13 22:20:33

If he hasn't cooled off after an hour and apologised profusely then he's a dickhead and you need to leave.

Did he acknowledge that he was being awful about the pants?

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