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If another poster says something nice about something I've written, AIBU to not acknowledge it?

(26 Posts)
AgentZigzag Sat 05-Jan-13 21:09:12

Not a stealth boast grin It doesn't happen often enough for that.

But A Lovely Poster said what I'd posted 'wise words' earlier, and I never know what the netiquette is for acknowledging it.

I want to gushingly thank them repeatedly 'Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou someone's noticed me' but know it'd only lay bare my low self esteem and need for approval.

But if I wrote 'That's very kind of you, thank you smile' there's a risk it could look like 'Thank you they were weren't they? <smug>' and I've drawn attention to what The Lovely Poster said on purpose.

So I end up pretending I haven't seen it, which is a bit rude in itself, I'm not saying that they have been kind to take the time and post something nice about what I've said, and which I'd thank them for were it RL.

Do other posters say anything? Or does it depend on what you're posting about, I'm sure I have said thank you at some point, but only when I'm posting about something else in the Lovely Posters post.

Sparklingbrook Sat 05-Jan-13 21:16:23

It depends. Sometimes I will PM, sometimes i just put 'that's really kind of you to say so'. Does very much depend on the subject and what exactly is being said though.

CheCazzo Sat 05-Jan-13 21:17:47

I think it's nice to acknowledge and I certainly don't think it lays bare your (my/anyone's) desperate need for acceptance and approval! And if anyone does think that then frankly - fuck 'em - but I'd be really surprised if they did.

KittyFane1 Sat 05-Jan-13 21:18:43

PM them.

CheCazzo Sat 05-Jan-13 21:19:08

Oh God - I don't mean I think you have that need - please don't read it like that! Actually you always come across as singularly together and knowledgeable to me. <<<buttsuck central grin - no need to acknowledge!>>>

crazynanna Sat 05-Jan-13 21:20:31

I sometimes just do

[name of poster] smile

JamieandtheMagiTorch Sat 05-Jan-13 21:20:45

If it's a " i agree with Jamie" i wouldn't bother, if it was high praise about maybe quite a long postm I'd say Thanks.

I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't acknowledge my praise of them. To me it's a bit like gift giving: nice to be thanked but the pleasure is in giving/ saying soemthing meaningful.

quirrelquarrel Sat 05-Jan-13 21:21:17

Obviously can't say "go with your gut", cos you're having some trouble doing that! grin
I think just say thanks if you're touched, and if you want to pretend that you haven't seen it because you're embarrassed, the other person is hardly likely to be hanging on the thread waiting for some recognition!

Hey OP, what lovely post you've written.

(let's get some practice in)

ThreeBeeOneGee Sat 05-Jan-13 21:21:42

Nickname: smile

Shakey1500 Sat 05-Jan-13 21:22:23

Agree with a PM Agent

FWIW a poster commented on a post I'd made on a VERY long thread not so long ago. I was stupidly excited really pleased it had been noticed and posted a xxxx Thank you very much.

That was the last post on the thread blush I killed it stone dead. Possibly everyone did think "Who is she? Who IS SHE?" and didn't post after me in a kind of "post protest" grin

uptheamp Sat 05-Jan-13 21:22:23

say, thanks babex

JamieandtheMagiTorch Sat 05-Jan-13 21:23:03

and I don't think your acknowledgment of it on the thread would be construed as bigging yourself up.

Interesting people talk about PMing. I don't tend to use PM much, mostly it's to agre with someone who is smelling out trolls without getting iinto trouble

AgentZigzag Sat 05-Jan-13 21:23:39

Errr...thank you Cazzo <awkward>



I definitely wasn't fishing for compliments either, it makes me feel really uncomfortable.

JamieandtheMagiTorch Sat 05-Jan-13 21:25:23

..... Oh and MNHQ, if you are listening, I do also report dodgy threads, not just bitch off thread.

JustAHolyFool Sat 05-Jan-13 21:28:13

Wise words there, AgentZigZag , totally agree with you.

<waits to see what happens>

AgentZigzag Sat 05-Jan-13 21:29:09

That's the other thing Skakey, the risk of misreading and accepting the praise when it was aimed at someone else shock <mortified>

I usually only PM if I've got something to say that I don't want to say on the thread or the thread's moved on and it's too late. Just to PM them to say thank you would feel needy too grin

JamieandtheMagiTorch Sat 05-Jan-13 21:31:28

Threads could get really bunged up with people agreeing with each other.

I seem to remember a thread like that, which spawned the IPOAT threads. In that case, someone was making the point about people neber agreeing with her, but then agreeing with someone much later on the thread, who said exactly the same thing.

I agreed with bran

JamieandtheMagiTorch Sat 05-Jan-13 21:32:22


Yes, i worry that PMings too personal. Weird innit?

CheCazzo Sat 05-Jan-13 21:32:37

PM'ing is a minefield though - isn't it? What if your opinion is unwelcome? What if the PM is never acknowledged? That'd be forever and day wondering just exactly how much the PM'ee hates you! It's a difficult area and I'm not sure I'm very comfortable with it.

Sparklingbrook Sat 05-Jan-13 21:34:51

I send quite a few PMs. I don't send them to get a reply, but I think I have always had one. Sometimes I do it when the thread is going round in circles, I have no more left to say so I tell the OP that I haven't disappeared but I still agree with them. grin

JamieandtheMagiTorch Sat 05-Jan-13 21:36:20


Yes, i think we've definitely had such a conversation

Sparklingbrook Sat 05-Jan-13 21:37:40

grin [Jamie]

Sparklingbrook Sat 05-Jan-13 21:38:25

Sorry got carried away with my brackets Jamie. grin

AgentZigzag Sat 05-Jan-13 21:50:50

Yes, the PMs are a minefield in themselves.

I always want to put 'It's OK, you don't have to reply if you don't want to', but that looks like I've got no self confidence in what I've said and am telling them not to bother with someone so unworthy, or I'm being prickly and don't want them to reply grin

I've had some really lovely PMs though and don't have any trouble at all in saying thank you for them confused Maybe it's the 'public' bit that gives me the indecision?

pigletmania Sat 05-Jan-13 23:10:07

I just say thanks to the poster who praise me, but tats very rarely mstly I am told I talk utter garbage blush

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