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'My kids never screamed like that' - old bag says loudly at the supermarket checkout...

(335 Posts)
TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras Sat 05-Jan-13 18:14:22

about my DS (2). He is a screamer and it drives me nuts. Not when it's just me and him but when my older DSs are anywhere near him - he wants what they've got, wants to do what they're doing. He's trying to dominate, it's the pack mentality!

He screamed around Tescos as he was in the trolley and he wanted to put the food in the trolley. He screamed at the checkout as he wanted OUT! Cue santimonious, smug middle aged woman making the above comment very loudly. I don't want him to scream either but short of putting a sock in it, what can I do? I should have asked her what her secret was but I just glared.

Really unnecessary comment that only made me feel more shit and stressed and angry.


CheCazzo Sat 05-Jan-13 18:56:50

Popcorn anyone? Iced lolly? Bag of Maynard's Sports Mix?


LeonieDeSainteVire Sat 05-Jan-13 18:57:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LightTheLampNotTheRat Sat 05-Jan-13 19:00:47

I've honestly never thought the term 'old bag' referred to age - just obnoxious behaviour. Maybe I'm wrong? I tell nine-year-old DD not to be such an old bag when she's being mean or obnoxious. I tell DH I'm sorry for being such an old bag when I've been behaving like a cow to him.

The OP wasn't being ageist, as I read it - just expressing exasperation with a judgey person in a shop. I encounter old bags all the time, personally - of all ages.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sat 05-Jan-13 19:01:24

Would everyone like to sort themselves into two camps to keep this looming bunfight tidy:

1) Those who are pissed off because the OP thinks 'middle aged' is old.
2) Those who are pissed off because the OP has used the term 'old bag'

It's just neater that way grin

JustAHolyFool Sat 05-Jan-13 19:03:19

OP, yes, I should get out more. Good comeback. I am totally burnt here. Ouchy.

KobayashiMaru Sat 05-Jan-13 19:03:32

You never thought that old referred to a persons age? Really? hmm

FiveFlowers Sat 05-Jan-13 19:04:33

Ffs, yet another ageist thread hmm.

OP, in your eyes I am an 'old bag' - old enough to be your mother - and my children weren't allowed to scream when we were out as we had consideration for others; something that is sadly lacking nowadays in some people.

I hate spoiled, undisciplined children - or rather their parents who make them that way.

ilovesooty Sat 05-Jan-13 19:05:09

"Old bag" relates to age as I understand the term.

I think the OP has flounced.

Schlock Sat 05-Jan-13 19:05:12

Hah, I used to hold dd2 under my armpit whilst she screamed, during the school pickup because she was having a screaming hab dab at 3pm but there was nothing I could do about it because she was a toddler. Social services haven't been informed as yet. She's 13 now so I doubt they will be.

Moominsarehippos Sat 05-Jan-13 19:05:25

Am I an old bag? I don't feel like one... Anyhoo, why do people assume that parents don't mind their kids screaming blue murder? These are the same people who would tutut if you gave the child the sweets or let them out of the pram to grab things.

I would have said 'is that because you had him stuffed up a chimney?' - one I inherited from my mum.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 05-Jan-13 19:06:09

Well the Op is apparently middle aged or certainly approaching it at 41 so I don't understand why's she's applying that label to someone who's as close in age to her as young mums in their late 20's/30's.
Old bag and foul old fucker are never OK IMO.

diaimchlo Sat 05-Jan-13 19:07:55

I am not "professionally Offended" by your inappropriate OLD Bag comment I am personally offended I am 54 and guess what I am a Mumsnetter.

With the attitude you have shown relating to this I think you are being very unreasonable. The person you are moaning about was rude in what she said and tbh it would have been more appropriate for you to not have dragged yourself down to her level by giving her an evil look. At 41 I would have expected a more mature response to the situation.

MuddlingMackem Sat 05-Jan-13 19:08:59

landofsoapandglory Sat 05-Jan-13 18:54:14

>>>> I'm with BadDog on this. I hate screaming kids, it hurts my ears and gives me headaches. Please try to stop him. <<<<

I don't think anyone likes screaming kids, but just be grateful it's not yours and you can at least get away from it!

[mother of a DD who was an horrendous screamer as a baby and toddler!]

LifeofPo Sat 05-Jan-13 19:09:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 05-Jan-13 19:12:05

Is it me that just doesn't notice them?
Maybe I'm so middle aged now I need a hearing aid.

ilovesooty Sat 05-Jan-13 19:13:10

diaimchlo - well said.

baskingseals Sat 05-Jan-13 19:13:28

well i am with the op.

it is horrible enough dealing with your screaming child, without somebody adding to it.

so i take it that people not seeing this from the op's point of view have NEVER EVER in their entire lives had to deal with a child being a pain in public?

MichelleRooJnr Sat 05-Jan-13 19:13:53

My kids never screamed like that
Sanctimonious? Smug? Old Bag?
You glared?

She made a comment!
She didn't swear, call you names, call your child names, or even complain!
A comment has made you this angry confused
Maybe you need to reconsider taking your 'screamer' into supermarkets until you're able to handle the exasperation that other shoppers are entitled to express.

LifeofPo Sat 05-Jan-13 19:14:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maxybrown Sat 05-Jan-13 19:14:28

argh I hate this!

A couple of weeks ago I was rushing through town and there was a little girl of about 3 bawling and bawling and looking very defiant. Her Mum was stood about 3 feet away looking very exasperated and totally down trodden. Some old woman stopped to stare and said really loudly to the little girl - "Oh deary deary me.............oh dear oh dear" followed my some more helpful comments............I felt like shoving her over and rushing to buy the Muma big bar of chocolate...................gah

maxybrown Sat 05-Jan-13 19:16:32

Just to say, I hate screaming kids too - but you still have my sympathy as although DS has never ever done this, he has done other things - he is most probably AS (waiting on formal diag) and screaming children send HIM into a meltdown grin

Leonie I've been giving my son time outs/ sanctions etc, asking him to talk to me in his 'house voice' etc for quite some time. It's slow going but when you're out and about, trips tend to be cut short or similar if he goes into meltdown sad So I definitely do not have any answers. I've carried him fireman lift style on School runs many times in the past. I'm hoping time and consistency will help and his speech improving some more, so he can say it with words iyswim.

He's 4 today and it's lessened a lot but he still has his moments. I spend my life worrying what people think of his behaviour and my parenting and afraid of being judged, so this thread is making me feel worse.

Mackem please tell me it does improve, it sounds like your DD has?

hazeyjane Sat 05-Jan-13 19:17:09

I agree with the old bag comments being unecessary, but

*and my children weren't allowed to scream when we were out as we had consideration for others; something that is sadly lacking nowadays in some people.

I hate spoiled, undisciplined children - or rather their parents who make them that way.*

...really?! Lots of children scream, for all sorts of reasons, and sometimes it is just impossible to stop them.

Btw the house voice thing, is due to the fact he seems loud even at home, when he's not having a tantrum. He has no volume control but I'm trying! sad

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 05-Jan-13 19:20:31

I honestly don't, Life of Po grin
Supermarkets are a stressful enough experience already, it's just part of the experience.
If I was on a plane or something, I would notice, but always feel sorry for the parents and to a certain extent, switch off
If I can't I stick my earphones on and ignore.

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