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'My kids never screamed like that' - old bag says loudly at the supermarket checkout...

(335 Posts)
TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras Sat 05-Jan-13 18:14:22

about my DS (2). He is a screamer and it drives me nuts. Not when it's just me and him but when my older DSs are anywhere near him - he wants what they've got, wants to do what they're doing. He's trying to dominate, it's the pack mentality!

He screamed around Tescos as he was in the trolley and he wanted to put the food in the trolley. He screamed at the checkout as he wanted OUT! Cue santimonious, smug middle aged woman making the above comment very loudly. I don't want him to scream either but short of putting a sock in it, what can I do? I should have asked her what her secret was but I just glared.

Really unnecessary comment that only made me feel more shit and stressed and angry.


ilovesooty Sat 05-Jan-13 18:36:01

Don't bother to say "sorry" - you aren't. And what's with the "professionally offended" jibe?

I just think you sound every bit as rude as you think she was.

Narked Sat 05-Jan-13 18:37:14

Do you mean to sound so obnoxious?

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 05-Jan-13 18:37:51

Funnily enough I was never ever shown anything but sympathetic looks from others (both young mums and middle aged/old alike, when I had a toddler.
I'm now middle aged myself and TBH don't even notice small children, it's just part and parcel of supermarket shopping, with all the bleeps and the voices over the tannoy and the noise.
I'm constantly amazed by the number of Mumsnetters' that experience 'foul old fuckers' shock wherever they go.
I must live in a different planet town.

mumofthemonsters808 Sat 05-Jan-13 18:40:11

Well hers might not of done, but mine certainly does pretty much as you describe.You did very well to control your temper the last thing you needed during an outburst is a comment like that.People have very short memories and can be so intolerant and judgemental about other people's children.You will laugh about this in years to come!!.

TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras Sat 05-Jan-13 18:40:33

CaptChaoshow about don't tut or make stupid comments at all no matter what your age.

She was probably around 60. Thought I was being generous referring to her as middle aged. I am 41 if that helps. I doubt she will be upset about me referring to her as an old bag on here as she is unlikely to read it but if she happens to be an MNer - 'you're an old bag' <blows raspberry>. hmm

DameMargotFountain Sat 05-Jan-13 18:41:43

yup, because no-one over 40 has a young child hmm

what if i rocked onto thread and called you a silly young girl who can't control her DC?

which bit would you find most offensive?

i'm sorry if the woman hurt your feelings and was wrong about you, but i totally get where the others are coming from about ageism.

ilovesooty Sat 05-Jan-13 18:42:09

Well, it would be interesting to see how your children develop and form their attitudes to the elderly with such a role model...

DameMargotFountain Sat 05-Jan-13 18:43:20

in light of your most recent posting on thread, i say grow the fuck up, OP

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 05-Jan-13 18:43:52

So your'e 41 Op?
Therefore middle aged.
I'd never have guessed as your post sounded like a stroppy teenager.

ilovesooty Sat 05-Jan-13 18:44:16

Well, DameMargot - it appears that the OP is 41. She just sounds like a rude, truculent child.

splintersinmebum Sat 05-Jan-13 18:44:17

If your kids are as foul as their mother ...

TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras Sat 05-Jan-13 18:44:39

Oh pleaseeee. Ageism schageism. Would it have been OK to call her a bloody cow then or is that offensive to cows?

MN at it's best.

BadDog Sat 05-Jan-13 18:44:52

i hate screaming kids. stop him fgs

OryxCrake Sat 05-Jan-13 18:46:42

Yes, she was rude and sorry you're feeling upset.

No need for the ageist stuff, though. Plenty of people of all ages wouldn't do this, and some (of all ages) would.

TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras Sat 05-Jan-13 18:47:23

If your kids are as foul as their mother ... my belly is aching with laughter.

Oh yippee, here we go with the 'your poor children'. Why am I surprised hmm.

I am only assume that the vast majority of posters on here ARE old bags.

ilovesooty Sat 05-Jan-13 18:47:34

I wanted to say 'you must have a short memory then', just heightens my frustration that I did'nt!

Oh, and your inability to respond assertively to situations is your problem.

JustAHolyFool Sat 05-Jan-13 18:47:47

You know when you say "professionally offended" it makes it sound like you aren't really able to express a valid argument, right?

"Old bag" is a pretty grim thing to say. No, she shouldn't have said it, but there's no need to be rude about her in return.

CaptChaos Sat 05-Jan-13 18:47:52

Teens sorry, was trying to be lighthearted, obviously backfired!

I wouldn't tut at all, my DS is Autistic, so spent most of his life being tutted at by people of all ages. I used to end up telling them that he was and asking what their problem was.

If you read my first post, I was actually supporting you wink

DameMargotFountain Sat 05-Jan-13 18:49:18

yup, dummy is well and truly out now

i was sympathetic to you at first, OP

now, not at all

ilovesooty Sat 05-Jan-13 18:50:03

Which means, Chaos you were able to tackle the situation like an adult - a skill the OP evidently lacks.

TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras Sat 05-Jan-13 18:51:01

"Old bag" is a pretty grim thing to say. My god, you should get out more.


I was going to offer you sympathy, as my son is a screamer and is very loud and throws a lot of tantrums. It wasn't helpful what she said and I can appreciate that when you posted, you were probably still very angry.

But your post at 18.47 is very harsh. I would walk away from the thread now tbh. It's not going to improve on here, or grab your hard hat.

soulresolution Sat 05-Jan-13 18:52:19

An old woman once told me to chuck ds in the sea when he was continually crying and complaining during a gruelling channel crossing! I was outraged at the time and told her to shut her horrible gob. Now I can feel her pain a bit...

It was rude and not helpful of the woman in your post but you can bet there were plenty of others in the shop thinking along the same lines. Dealing with this stuff is just part of the process of parenting as I'm sure you know.

ilovesooty Sat 05-Jan-13 18:52:41

You just don't get it, do you? It's nothing to do with whether you said it to her face.

landofsoapandglory Sat 05-Jan-13 18:54:14

It's not polite to call someone names, no matter how old they are!

I'm with BadDog on this. I hate screaming kids, it hurts my ears and gives me headaches. Please try to stop him.

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