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To work 12 hours a day for 3 years with 3 Dcs under 6?

(153 Posts)
forgottenpassword Sat 05-Jan-13 15:43:05

I have 3 Dcs 5 and under. I have a very stressful job which involves long hours, averaging about 12 hours a day but sometimes longer. I am a pretty laid back person so can cope with the stress but am very into my kids so I am sad not to spend more time with them. But if I carry on with my job for next 3 years I am fortunate enough that I will be able to save enough to privately educate my children up to end of primary. But is it worth it?

stopgap Wed 09-Jan-13 23:44:24

I live in NYC, and this is a commonplace scenario (I am currently a SAHM to a seventeen-month-old but plan to start working two days a week in a few months).

In any case, maternity leave here is usually 12 weeks, and then people with careers in banking, law etc. go back to 60-hour work weeks. I see their toddlers and young kids with nannies in the park, some content, some utterly miserable and vacant-looking, and I often wonder whether it's worth it.

I don't care who is around more--mother or father (incidentally, for me, it was my father, and we've always been much closer)--but I do think, at least for the formative years, and if finances allow, it's good to have one parent at home or working part-time.

Bonsoir Thu 10-Jan-13 10:28:53

Oblomov - "Not all children have great memories. I had a very happy childhood but don't have any memories about being a very young child."

The issue is not so much one of conscious memories as one of unconscious memory. When a very young child is happy and secure "in the moment", he/she carries that feeling through to later childhood and adulthood and it is a bedrock of strength. A very young child who is unhappy and anxious is much less likely to be a happy secure adult for the same reason.

mummytime Thu 10-Jan-13 10:59:01

Private school is not always better than state. The benefit of involved parents is proved.

So I'd say its not worth it.

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