In being annoyed at this?(54 Posts)
I have a feeling that I may be being unreasonable but thought I'd ask for the judgement of AIBU
Neither DH or myself drive. I'm due to have DC3 by ELCS next month. Since I was about 4 months pregnant, MIL offered to come up the night before to take DH and I to the hospital early on the day of ELCS. She would also be looking after DDs. We agreed and gave her the date we strongly suspected it was going to be on. We have mentioned the date 2 - 3 times since and double checked MIL was ok to still take us when my mum asked how we were planning to get to the hospital and childcare. MIL confirmed this was still fine.
DH starts a new job at the beginning of next month and his first actual week after training will be the week of ELCS. He will be able to have that day off but the week after we knew we would need help RE childcare as he starts work before nursery and school open. As I will be unable to do the school run via bus for the first few weeks, my mum was going to stay with us a few days and then halfway through the week MIL would come back up. I was hoping to take over the school run at 3 weeks post section.
I saw the consultant this week and he booked me in for the date we suspected. PIL visited yesterday and we confirmed that date. DH mentioned about MIL staying, to which FIL piped up about them being busy on those days. Basically, PIL bought a caravan almost 2 months ago now. They have been looking, not very much, for a site for their caravan to go on. It has been decided that on the day of ELCS and the day after they will be looking at prospective caravan sites with BIL and his wife. Nothing is booked yet, but it doesn't look like they will change those plans now.
MIL is a part time supply teacher. The week before ELCS is her schools half term. BIL is also a teacher and his half term is the week of ELCS. MIL will be working the first 3 days of that week, so they want to go on the Thursday/Friday and SIL will take a day off to go. DH is annoyed and upset at this, as he is wondering why they can't a) go on MIL half term week or b) go at the weekend of ELCS week. MIL pretty much said nothing apart from mentioning about my mum coming up instead. I've spoken to my mum, who will be able to come up and do what MIL was going to do, but she won't be able to come up the first half of the week after now, which leaves us in a sticky position RE childcare again. By the sounds, MIL isn't planning on coming up until the week after now so will not see DC3 until then and we have no idea when FIL will visit. My parents have foster children and only one car so DM is hiring a car to accommodate the change in plans.
I must mention now that there is history of everything being organised around BIL and plans being changed to accommodate his wants. Also history with FIL, who made it clear being DH and I got married that he didn't like me and told DH not to marry me and who didn't see DD1 until she was 6 weeks old because she was an unplanned pregnancy and he was only told about her when I was heavily pregnant, as per MIL wishes (who had known since I was 3 months pregnant that he knows nothing about). We (FIL and I) are civil for the sake of DC.
AIBU to be annoyed at this? DH is annoyed that a caravan site is supposedly more important than the birth of their GC. He has not aired his discontent with them yet. There is no particular reason why it has to be that week they go, apart from BIL having his half term then.
<dons hat> Hit me with it - AIBU? and in advance
Rainbow2000 - of course, I worked until my due date the first time round and either walked to work or took the bus, and walked 45mins to the hospital to be induced.
But of course you are right, everyone recovers at a different rate so sorry if I was insensitive OP!
Marianne - I am doing the school run/nursery run until the day before ELCS. We need to have transport as the hospital is a quite a way away and although there are buses and taxis, we have to be there for 7.30am and we cannot get childcare for DDs to start until 8am, which is the main reason for being offered the help. DM will be looking after DDs. Us being taken to the hospital is just a 'bonus' so to speak. Again, I'm going off the recovery for my last section in terms of resuming the school run but I know I won't be ready to do it at 3 days post section regardless. Still hoping to be ready as soon as possible though
I hope all goes well for you OP and your ILs decide to prioritise you and your baby over their caravan
It always amazes me why a CS is considered minor surgery and the mother is expected to get on her feet and get on with it with newborn in toe.
If it was other abdominal surgery and this expectation was still there - I bet some people would have a completely different view point!
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