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To not go to hospital with husband and baby

(158 Posts)
MeconiumHappens Sat 05-Jan-13 09:48:24

My OH has 6 monthly check ups at a specialist hospital for a long term serious health problem. This hospital is 2hrs drive away. He wont go alone, ive always gone with him, or his mum if i cant get out of work.

We now have a 7 month old. DH think me and baby should go with him next week. Its 2hr drive there, up to 2 hr wait in busy clinic then 2 hr drive home. Im refusing to go, i dont want baby in car seat that long, and think a clinic is not the place for a baby, particularly in noro virus season. He thinks im being really selfish. Its his mums birthday so doesnt think its fair to ask her. He wont go on his own. He gave me the old "well if somethings wrong it'll be your fault" angry


Bogeyface Sat 05-Jan-13 19:54:44

Of course it is selfish and self indulgent!

He isnt worried, doesnt want support, just wants someone to talk to so he isnt bored. Forget the fact that the baby will be bored, crying, whatever and that the OP will be desperately trying to pacifiy the baby in order that the other patients aren't disturbed.

Oh no, lets go and stop the poor little lamb from having to amuse himself hmm

Then to stick emotional blackmail on top, that is incredibly selfish and bloody nasty.

Zimbah Sat 05-Jan-13 20:58:05

Very odd behaviour of the DH to want to drag a baby to a hospital appointment. How many 6mo will be happy in the car for 2 x 2hour journey? You would no doubt have to stop half way which will end up making it a 2.5 hour journey at least. Then will you be travelling back or starting off through rush hour, the whole thing ends up taking a lot longer than 2 hours and it's quite likely the baby will end up screaming at some point. Which is fair enough if it's essential but it really isn't. Even if he was worried about receiving bad news it would be really silly to take the baby, it would be much better to ask his mum to babysit (if you and she are happy to do so for the whole day).

pictish Sat 05-Jan-13 21:04:16

I agree with Bogeyface there.

He is now saying that if she doesn't go, he won't either, and if there's there's anything miussed because of it, it will be her fault!

Prize cunt.

crashdoll Sat 05-Jan-13 21:41:43

Emotional blackmail is not cool and not on at all but maybe he doesn't want to say "actually I'm shit scared and would like support".

Snazzynewyear Sat 05-Jan-13 21:58:11

So if he's really scared, he could ask his mum, who's gone with him before - but he won't because it's her birthday. Instead he wants to drag his partner and baby along simply because he thinks someone should always come with him. Yes it's nice to have someone there at appointments but it just isn't practical this time, and adults know that sometimes that happens and you have to go on your own. I don't think he's scared; I think he's used to having people do what he wants and is annoyed that he isn't getting that this time.

Plus if he just doesn't show, that's an appointment time that could have been offered to another patient who's having to wait longer. Selfish.

Greythorne Sat 05-Jan-13 21:59:54

When my baby was 7 months old, I would have loved the chance for a few hours guilt free away, to read, mess about in MN, sit quietly.

Ok, so a routine medical exam may not be fun, but he can look on the positive side in terms of having some time to himself.

OTTMummA Sat 05-Jan-13 23:40:50

Yanbu op. He sounds a bit pathetic, very unattractive quality to me. Unfortunately he is now an adult with a child, sometimes he will just have to suck it up and get on with it. If this is a long term problem he should really find another way to entertain himself, he has been indulged and has become expectant and thinks because he gas a condition no one should say no and that he is always first. Tbh I find people like this annoying and keep a long arm, I take it this isn't an option for you :D

SomersetONeil Sun 06-Jan-13 08:42:14

Sorry, crashdoll, I completely stand by my opinion - under these circumstances, he's being selfish and self-indulgent.

And very much agree with OTT.

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