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to thiink just for once my family would pretend to give a fuck ?

(80 Posts)
Kashdogg82 Sat 05-Jan-13 01:16:33

Name Changed though this in itself might out me .

It's my Birthday yay me & as per usual my Dh , My mum & all siblings just don't bother to even get me a card never mind a present the most ill get is a 'Happy Birthday' on Facebook & that's it & its the same every year , even as a child .
It's not that I want presents its the principal of it .
I'd love to have a night out with friends to celebrate or even have a few friends round but I can't so ill just spend yet another day wishing it would all go away .
I even asked if I could go to my mums tomorrow in hope that any one if them had got me a card but they are all to busy to see me .
The worse part is having to answer my Ds's (4) questions as to why I have no presents it cards .
I feel completely unreasonable for feeling this way & maybe I should just grow up .
AIBU or do I really deserve better confused

pigletmania Sat 05-Jan-13 07:35:05

Happy birthday krashdog, have some wine and flowers from me

Loveweekends10 Sat 05-Jan-13 08:21:09

How old are you ? 7 I'm sorry but I personally think that adults getting hung up because family forget their birthday should go into room 101.
I expect DH and kids to remember any other cards I get are a bonus. For the big birthdays myself and fiends get together but really move on you are not a kid anymore so reduce your expectations as there are more important things to be worrying about.

TuftyFinch Sat 05-Jan-13 08:23:24

Did you actually read the OP loveweekends? She doesn't get any cards. From anyone.

LindyHemming Sat 05-Jan-13 08:25:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gumby Sat 05-Jan-13 08:27:45

Email your dh moonpigs web address

Lazy arse

pigletmania Sat 05-Jan-13 08:28:27

Love weekends just ecause you are an adult des not mean birthdays stop being important and a cause of celebration. Op got nothing no cards resents from her dh family or friends

AppleOgies Sat 05-Jan-13 08:31:49

I would be upset if my DH didn't acknowledge my birthday. My in laws don't buy each other birthday or Christmas presents. I find it very odd. Your partner should buy you a gift to celebrate the occasion of your birthday, irrespective of your age.

Happy birthday OP! Can I suggest you go out for the day by yourself and have a 'personal day' - buy yourself something nice, have a nice long sit in a cafe with coffee, cake and a book!

Snog Sat 05-Jan-13 08:33:41

You can't control your family but your dh is out of order. He has a year's notice for your birthday and could shop online if he wanted to.

Let him know it is a big deal for you. Why not plan a day out with friends next week when ds is at school?

LindyHemming Sat 05-Jan-13 08:36:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovecat Sat 05-Jan-13 08:46:19

I'd be really peeved about this.

Since marrying into DH's extended clan, I have post-Christmas birthdays to deal with of:

27th Dec
28th Dec
31st Dec
3rd Jan
5th Jan
14th Jan

EVERYONE gets a card and a present. It's mean to do otherwise even though it's a pain in the neck - as 70 said, it's not like the date takes you by surprise every year, is it?

Happy Birthday Kashdogg smile

witchface Sat 05-Jan-13 10:07:36

My DHs birthdat is 31st dec and i usually pool his birthday and christmas to get him one thing he wouldnt get otherwise (ie this year a v expensive camera) but he still got a card and small present from both me and dd.

People saying you're an adult dont expect anything are bullshitters. Your dh has a big deal made over his birthday in the summer and you get ... I didnt have time. He's telling you, you are not important and he is. If he didn't care about his birthday then that might be different but he obviously does.

MerryChristmasEverybody Sat 05-Jan-13 10:09:24

Are your siblings treated the same way?

Happy Birthday!!

MairyHinge Sat 05-Jan-13 10:17:55

Outrageous!!! My birthday is jan 1st, bloody hate it, because you get..
" I'm skint, Xmas cleared me out"
" I can't afford to celebrate, Xmas cleared me out"
" wow, New Year's Day! You must live having your birthday so near to Xmas?"
Er, no, I bloody hate it.
First few years me & hubby were together he wouldn't bother, til one year I cried so much he KNEW from then on, that he had to attempt to make the day special.

Now it's ok, I get a few cards, my freinds are lovely and buy me some little gifts, and my hubby & kids spoil me, but I've had to train him/them to do it!

I always make birthdays special for my family & friends, no excuses. It's the same date every yer so get prepared is what I think.
My hubby's is 15th December which I envy because everyone wants to go out & celebrate then, s it's near Xmas, but by NYD everyone is skint, fed up, miserable M&D counting the costs.

Get training you oh, tell him it's unacceptable to have you feeling like this on your birthday.


Crikeyblimey Sat 05-Jan-13 10:21:06

Happy Birthday Kashdogg.

It is my sister's birthday today and mine on 27th Dec. It is hard and people do seem to think that as we've just had Christmas, we shouldn't need to be bothered but we are. As everyone should be. Luckily, our family know this and appropriate efforts are made (cards, small gifts etc.)

I hope you manage to have a lovely day (even though you'll have to engineer it yourself). Take the advice above and get yourself some nice bath stuff and hide away for a bit.

trikken Sat 05-Jan-13 11:20:28

Even if he has no time to go anywhere there is always time for moonpig.

SarahWarahWoo Sat 05-Jan-13 11:29:05

Happy Birthday! Invite your friends around, they wont mind your DS running about and it will make you feel better.

SugarplumMary Sat 05-Jan-13 11:29:53

The worse part is having to answer my Ds's (4) questions as to why I have no presents it cards .

happy birthday - year I had this DC asking questions was what upset me the most.

Year later I bought myself presents for them to give me - wasn't nessary as DH got his act togther.

Could you take your DC out shopping with you today ? Or take them out for a meal with them - even if is no where fancy?

SugarplumMary Sat 05-Jan-13 11:31:52

On -line shopping with them having them sit next to you and choose?- as I've just read you are ill still.

Take-out possible?

FryOneFatManic Sat 05-Jan-13 11:38:18

The worse part is having to answer my Ds's (4) questions as to why I have no presents it cards.

Tell your DS to ask his daddy why he didn't get mummy a present and card.

peaceandlovebunny Sat 05-Jan-13 11:42:31

happy birthday!

Kashdogg82 Sat 05-Jan-13 11:57:28

Thanks everybody & I'm 25 today.
Loveweekends I think you should read my first post properly before posting & better still don't post at all !

sleepsforwimps2010 Sat 05-Jan-13 14:15:40

id really be sulking now if i didnt even get a card!!
id have to send a blanket text to all of the family (who expect their birthdays to be recognised) 'thanks for the birthdaycard. oh no wait sorry you didnt bother.... oh well another year with no cards for me, thanks anyway Xx'

happy birthday op! now go give them hell!

thegreylady Sat 05-Jan-13 14:55:24

Happy Birthday

KenLeeeeeee Sat 05-Jan-13 15:01:31

Happy birthday, Kashdogg! thanks and wine to you from the KL household.

My DH has sometimes been a bit flaky about my birthday (July so no Christmas excuse!) until the dc started nagging him about it. Last year I finally felt spoiled. I suggest your dc ask their dad about your birthday presents too.

DontmindifIdo Sat 05-Jan-13 15:01:35

OP - it's not acceptable of your DH. I think it's time for a full scale meltdown. Proper sobs and snotty mess he'll not easily forget. Save them just for moments like this. He could have bought something before christmas, that's what I do for friends who have early January birthdays. He decided your birthday wasn't worth remembering, and obviously it's ok to forget it because you don't make a fuss.

He doesn't care enough to even get you a card? To book a day's holiday so he can take you out or watch DS so you can go out?

Really, that's so shit. Nothing for anyone else's birthday from now on, and say it's because you thought we weren't bothering with birthdays anymore.

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