to ask you to talk to me about people who DON'T have children(179 Posts)
I am 30 and not sure whether I want kids, mainly for the following reasons:
- I am not actually that sure I like kids that much. As in when I see kids out and about in shops or on trains etc my normal reaction is to be annoyed by them, ie. if they are making a noise, running around getting in the way. Although I know other people who say they felt like this about other people's kids but love their own.
- In my 20s I lacked the confidence to travel, pursue hobbies etc but now I have developed a bit more confidence and have a really fulfilling life and loads of hobbies, mainly adventure sports. I also travel a lot to weird and wonderful places. I think if you are the kind of person whose hobbies extend to shopping and going for coffee and you only holiday in mainstream places then you would be fine having kids but my hobbies / travels are not really stuff that could work around younger kids.
- I worry babies might bore me and teenagers would be too stressful.
- I am lucky that I have a good career and get paid well so I am used to having the money to do pretty much what I want (within reason!). Not sure I want to live the rest of my life on a budget (sorry if that sounds selfish!).
- I actually rather like spending time with DP. Just the two of us
- I have also battled with some mental health issues and have anxiety and worry A LOT about various things so not sure how I would cope with kids. I am also someone who NEEDS 8 hours' sleep per night or I really struggle to function / cope.
DP feels the same, although we both acknowledge that we might want kids in a few years' time.
However it does concern me what life would be like without kids, especially when I am older (like my parents' age). I do like the idea of having adult kids I have to say.
Please talk to me about the lives of people (either yourself or someone you know) who does not have kids.
I read that thread at the time and identify with a lot of the feelings on it. At times. Not most of the time.
So much depends on what kind of a baby you have, what support there is in place, where you live, how you life, what your expectations are, what personality you have.
It's an interesting debate to be had, but at the end of the day everybody needs to make the decision whether or not/how many children to have for themselves. And once you've decided, it may not work out the way you thought.... it is a leap of faith, no doubt.
I identity with a lot of that thread. The early years are so hard, so relentless, at times, boring, and shook my confidence (SAHM). You are having to learn a new identity, and integrate into your old one. When mine started full time nursery/school I felt like a person whose head was above water for the first time in years.
But for all that, even in the worst times, I never regretted it, and the older they've got the more I've enjoyed it/them. You teach them, and you learn just as much. I can't think of anything else that would do that for me.
ambersocks what an outrageous thing to say! Hang your head in shame. OP keep an open mind....
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