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WIBU to use an old ring as my engagement ring?

(47 Posts)
ColourfulSmilies Thu 03-Jan-13 19:25:42

Hi all, I've posted here because it gets more traffic but feel free to move it smile

My DP and I have been together for 14 years, have lived together for 5 years and have no children. My DP has always been more keen to get married than I have but he has finally convined me and we got engaged at new year. We have been together since we were 16 and during our first year together my DP saved up from his weekend job to buy me a diamond ring, it's not flashy but means a lot to me and is in a vintage style which I love.

We have now started talking about choosing an engagment ring but money is tight and I'm not very materialistic however last night I have a brain wave - can't I just move my current ring onto my ring finger?! I like this idea because to me it means using a piece of jewellery that means a lot to me and in a way symbolises how our relationship has evolved.

Problem is DP hates the idea and thinks it makes him look tight and other people I've spoken to about it have pulled this face --> hmm

So really I'm asking, is it such a chessy/bad/tight idea or can other people see my way of thinking?! grin confused

squoosh Thu 03-Jan-13 19:28:46

I think it's a lovely idea and to hell with anyone who pulls a face or makes a comment. There's far too much pressure to have a blingtastic engagement rings these days.

Remember, you'll be the one wearing it so you get to decide.

Oh and, congratulations!

mrscumberbatch Thu 03-Jan-13 19:31:34

I think it's lovely, especially as he gave it to you in the first place.

By all means let him buy you a new lovely ring for your 'dress ring' finger if he is worried about looking tight wink

Yama Thu 03-Jan-13 19:36:24

Great idea.

I don't wear my engagement ring any more as it's not really me. I should really get round to selling it.

I like the symbolism of the plain band of the wedding ring so I wear that only. Also, it represents parity with dh as this is all he wears.

Wear what you want ColourfulSmilies and to hell with other people's opinions.

squoosh Thu 03-Jan-13 19:37:38

Or he could get you an engagement watch or necklace. It’s funny how lots of people become very conservative when it comes to engagement rings.

verytellytubby Thu 03-Jan-13 19:38:14

Love your idea.

sleepyhead Thu 03-Jan-13 19:38:46

It's a great idea. Definitely do that. smile

nextphase Thu 03-Jan-13 19:40:33

lovely idea. Its what an engagement ring is about - symbolising you and your partners commitment. Its not about a big blingy thing.

ColourfulSmilies Thu 03-Jan-13 19:44:32

Thank you all so much for your replies - so glad that other people can see my way of thinking about it grin

I've said to DP that he can buy me a special ring for an anniversary or something, just need to convince him now smile

Superene Thu 03-Jan-13 19:45:13

Your choice, nobody's business. My engagement ring belonged to dh's great granny. He proposed to me with it, but said I could have a new one of my choice (within reason obv). I tried on loads of new ones but really couldn't find one I preferred so I got a "wedding ring with bling" instead - a new ring that looks lovely with my 1920s engagement ring. Do what feels right, if you love your ring then why not switch hands?

JustFabulous Thu 03-Jan-13 19:46:33

People doing hmm are rude. None of their business. Talk to your fiance about what the ring means to you and why you think it would be really romantic to wear it as an engagement ring. Then let him tell you what he thinks - people who think he is tight are being rude too and really, are you going to live you life being influenced by what other people think? - and then you will have to come to a compromise or one give in to the person who feels the strongest.

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 03-Jan-13 19:49:09

Oh, do it!

My friend did this - she had a ring her grandmother had given her, and used it as an engagement ring. It just suited her beautifully and it was special to her, so I think it's lovely.

After all, when you choose an engagement ring, you are trying to find something that will remind you of special memories, and I can't think of anything better than a ring you bought early on in the relationship.

Tell your DP we on MN don't think he's tight!

After all ... there can always be other rings later on, if that's what you choose.

AnnoyingOrange Thu 03-Jan-13 19:52:47

Prince William didn't buy his fiancée a new ring

ColourfulSmilies Thu 03-Jan-13 19:53:23

I also think of all that money that could be used towards the wedding, we don't really want a big wedding so the cost of a ring could go a long way towards our big day smile To be honest, it has only been 2 people who have pulled a face but it was enough to test my judgement, obviously need to be more confident in what I want smile

CloudsAndTrees Thu 03-Jan-13 19:54:05

Tbh, if a friend told me she was doing this, I would think her DB was being tight.

But then my opinion wouldn't matter, your opinion and your DPs opinion is what matters so feel free to ignore me.

Bubblegum78 Thu 03-Jan-13 19:54:21

I like the idea, very sweet but if it upsets him that much....

ColourfulSmilies Thu 03-Jan-13 19:54:31

I also think it's because it's a ring I've already been wearing for 14 years rather than a family heirloom smile

Viviennemary Thu 03-Jan-13 19:56:33

If your DP wants you to have a new ring then I think you should. If you were both happy with it then fine. But your DP wants you to have another ring and I think that is really nice of him.

Curtsey Thu 03-Jan-13 19:57:55

Makes perfect sense to me!

squoosh Thu 03-Jan-13 19:58:21

I really don't think you should wear a new ring you don't really want and can't really afford so as not to 'upset' him. It's your finger!

jamdonut Thu 03-Jan-13 19:59:08

I think that's lovely.
My engagement ring wasn't expensive when we bought it,way back in 1987,(it has a miniscule bit of diamond in it - couldn't afford much), but I love it and I still wear it even though it has lost 3 out of its 6 garnets,which, coincidentally , is the number of children we have!

MrsJollyPostman Thu 03-Jan-13 20:01:29

I don't think it's a bad idea but your dp obviously wants to get you a new one so let him! Congratulations!

Strangemagic Thu 03-Jan-13 20:03:17

Lovely idea,my wedding ring was my mum's.

Hulababy Thu 03-Jan-13 20:03:19

If it makes your DH unhappy then I think you do need to take his thoughts into consideration.

Is there a compromise?

Could you use the ring but he get you a necklace or bracelet as an engagement gift?

Peevish Thu 03-Jan-13 20:07:15

There's something very depressing about being pressured into a ring you don't want - you realise that engagement rings are a really new phenomenon, late 19th c or so? And the idea that they are supposed to be diamond is newer still, and the notion that the man is supposed to spend three months' salary on the ring came from a de Beers advertising campaign, rather than being some Big Tradition? The whole thing comes from heavy marketing from a not particularly pleasant industry, so you should absolutely feel free to ignore it.

I'm married and don't have either an engagement or a wedding ring.

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