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to think certain of my single friends are single because they are just far too fussy

(136 Posts)
Croccy1979 Wed 02-Jan-13 14:24:28

Got several friends in their 30s who are still single and go on about it the whole time. They are all very attractive, interesting, fun, intelligent, have good jobs etc.

I do sympathise to a point, but AIBU to suggest that perhaps they should be a bit less fussy? OK so not suggesting they should go out with any old Tom, Dick or Harry as you need certain standards, but AIBU to think maybe they should sometimes 'give it a go' with someone who seems to have some potential rather than just rejecting men instantly if they don't tick all their boxes.

I was slightly unsure about DP for our first few dates as he was very shy and I didn't think he was my type, but now I am head over heels in love and would not be without him. So so very glad I gave him a shot grin and didn't write him off.

Also feel like my friends are sometimes not very self-aware - one friend refused to date a guy as he didn't have his own home and car (neither does she) and another rejected a guy because he was slightly overweight (she is hardly Kate Moss herself)........

They also seem to be attracted to good looking / trendy guys who are obviously complete plonkers - fair enough when you are 21 but thought people would have cottoned on and learnt to identify the good guys by the time they hit 30.........

Not meaning to be unsympathetic with this post, just thinking of the best ways to help my friends help themselves so to speak.

shesariver Thu 03-Jan-13 23:05:46

I'd be shocked if someone wasn't bothered by a grown man living with his Mum and Dad!


ILoveSaladReallyIDo Thu 03-Jan-13 23:06:01

but dating anyone that there isn't some physical attraction to is both patronising and a waste of everyone's time, chemistry is very important!

KC225 Thu 03-Jan-13 23:08:08

Superstar:- are you Julie Burchill talking about Tony Parsons?

KellyElly Thu 03-Jan-13 23:08:15

There's a BIG difference between a 30 odd year old living with his parents because he's moved back to save for a flat, had a divorce etc. One that's been living there since birth is a no go IMO.

squoosh Thu 03-Jan-13 23:13:14

Because I’m an independent adult and cannot fathom why another adult (I’m going to imagine someone over the age of 25) would possibly want to live with their parents. I can understand that certain circumstances might mean they may need to move home for maybe a few months. But a man who had never left home? Not in a million years. Red flags ahoy!

So, so, so unsexy.

SinisterBuggyMonth Thu 03-Jan-13 23:29:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Adversecamber Thu 03-Jan-13 23:30:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LessMissAbs Fri 04-Jan-13 00:56:11

superstarheartbreaker I recently went out with a lovely man who dosn't have his own home and has no car because he has a car phobia after an accident but I didn't care because I liked him so much. He has rejected me as I have a child even though in his words I am "intelligent, attractive and funny

I got rejected by a guy (before I met DH) for being "too good looking and too intelligent".

I also got rejected for being 2 1/2 years older than a guy once.

MardyArsedMidlander Fri 04-Jan-13 09:30:10

After reading this yesterday, I got an email from a guy at a dating site who said he was interested. He has a disability (no probs- so do I)- but 'hates doley scroungers'. He wants a 'respettfull woman' and his favourite book is 'American Psycho' and his favourite game something called 'STALKER' [SHOCK]

Think I might carry on being picky....

Latara Fri 04-Jan-13 10:43:13

I seem to attract: Players, addicts, married men and er, that's it.

Is it picky to ask for someone who doesn't tick those boxes??

I think my problem is that i'm too laid back & 'nice' to people, so the 'wrong' kind of men don't get put off.

shesariver Fri 04-Jan-13 11:56:35

Its not necessarily a case of wanting to live with your parents as an adult, its a case of having to, or be homeless. I would never have any of my 3 DCs homeless as an adult.

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