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To not be sure wether to laugh or have a meltdown at DP.

(17 Posts)
12ylnon Wed 02-Jan-13 13:09:44

DP is great, really is, and very talented at lots of things- good musician, anything to do with a computer, he's there, loads the dishwasher like a pro... BUT....
He just seems to lack in some ways that i think is important for a human being. For example, a certain degree of handiness, motivation to do something well, and basic common sense.

We went to Ikea on Friday and bought a cot. The baby isn't due for a while, so after i checked that all of the parts were there, we decided to put it up in the loft. It sat in our living room until yesterday, when i suggested that it might be time to take it upstairs now.
Him 'Where shall i put it?'
In the loft.
Him 'Where in the loft' (We have 3 'compartments')
Doesn't matter, wherever there is a space, the bit with the Christmas stuff in is full i think- perhaps in with the camping things or the painting things?
Him (shouting from upstairs) 'The one with the Christmas stuff is full- where do you want it?'
I know, i said that, it really doesn't matter hon, you decide.

About half an hour later, he emerges.
Anyway, i go up there today to get a painting to hang on the wall, only to find that he's forced the box across one of the loft doors. Once i've moved it out of the way (in my fat and pregnant state) i find that he's put it on top of a folder of DS's old school work which is now all ripped and crumpled. And on top of my mother's tapestries and paintings (bearing in mind, they're about all i have left of my mother, seeing as she hated having her photo taken). They must've slipped down from where they were propped up, but did he move them? NO. Couldn't be bothered.

I can't tell wether i'm genuinely mad or just in total disbelief that DP didn't think!
I feel like i should say something, but things like this happen so often that it's now almost laughable....
Am i asking too much from him- should i keep my trap shut and sort it myself?

EleanorGiftbasket Wed 02-Jan-13 13:12:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleBairn Wed 02-Jan-13 13:14:20

He sounds like a lazy sod!

EleanorGiftbasket Wed 02-Jan-13 13:15:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VisualiseAHorse Wed 02-Jan-13 13:27:52

Oh, Eleanor - that is hilarious!

OH is clever, funny, witty, a brilliant cook, fab with the baby etc.

But has this mad thing about using too many utensils in the kitchen. Can't stand it when I use two different spoons for two different things. Hovers over me while I cook (very rarely) going 'why don't you add some salt/pepper/cumin/random ingredient'. Look, I am cooking, you are not. I will also be doing the washing up, so I will use as many bloody spoons as I want!!!

12ylnon Wed 02-Jan-13 13:33:11

Jesus, visualise that would drive me nuts. DP would get spoons in unwanted places if he did that....
elanor sounds very familiar....

ResolutelyCheeky Wed 02-Jan-13 13:40:56

Sorry OP, your opening post made me laugh because it sounds like a daily exchange between DH and I.
It's such a relief that it's not just mine. I could give him clear instructions six times in a row and will actually say to him "are you listening?" and he will still ask me what I said.
I know of no cure for this but to try and laugh it off in the knowledge that they could be a lot worse.

blackeyedsusan Wed 02-Jan-13 13:47:33

oh heck. did not kno the ex had hooked up with someone else already shock

either that or sadly, there are severral of them out there. sad

he used to listen to instructions and only hear half of them...

littlewhitebag Wed 02-Jan-13 14:03:48

I am laughing so much at these posts. My DH is bright, hardworking and holds a post at a high level in finance. I suspect he switches his brain off on his way home as he never appears to listen to a word a say and then denies i gave him any instructions or asked him do do something at all. It drives me completely insane!

Birnamwood Wed 02-Jan-13 14:22:17

My dp is a very capable man and is quite high up at work, god knows how he achieved this though.

An exchange from the weekend...

Dp: shall I go for a poo?
Me: hmm, if you want to confused wtf is he asking ME
Dp: shall I?
Me I don't know, do you need one?
Dp: I don't know, I think so
Me: go and have a poo if you need to, please stop asking me. I don't know if you need a poo, only you can know that. If you need to go, go. If you don't don't. Just stop bloody asking me
Dp: why are you shouting at me?
Me: oh fgs, just go and have a fucking poo! angry

It's like he leaves his ability to decision make at his office door and then expects me to take over. Grr

OkayHazel Wed 02-Jan-13 14:50:31

The poor blokes asking for instructions because he sounds bloody terrified that you'll bite his head off unless everything is done exactly your way!

ResolutelyCheeky Wed 02-Jan-13 14:54:22

Hee hee Birnam that is terrible!

Bearmonkeysmum Wed 02-Jan-13 15:43:44

Nice to know its not just me that experiences this, it's like my DP has no ability to make even the simplest decisions on his own!

12ylnon Wed 02-Jan-13 16:33:25

birnam do you think he was just using it as excuse to say 'poo'?

VisualiseAHorse Wed 02-Jan-13 16:45:47

birnam that is ace.

Another of OH's things....gets really annoyed if I say 'pardon' if I didn't hear what he said first time round. Makes this face like I NEVER LISTEN TO ANYTHING HE SAYS.

Of course...I don't get annoyed with him when I have to repeat myself. I just smile and repeat.

Smellslikecatspee Wed 02-Jan-13 16:51:06

I've got one too

I've had 7, yes seven emails today about when should he boil the potatoes, in what saucepan, at what temp etc etc etc.

I used to think it was a ploy to make me say OFF sake I'll do it myself, but no either hes the worlds slowest learner or he just doesn't get some things.

Work love it when I've asked him to do any shopping, they run a pool based on how many items hes been asked to get and how often he'll phone.

With him it does seem to be a blindness on how the food manages to get from the shop to his belly. . . .

notmyproblem Wed 02-Jan-13 17:27:28

Every morning I come down to the kitchen to find DH (who was up earlier) has washed up the few dishes that were left in the sink overnight (wine glasses, a plate or two).

Every day without fail I take them from the drying rack, have a quick glance at them, see they are still covered in food/fingerprints and put them in the dishwasher. As of yet he's never noticed and I don't have the heart to tell him off about it. Take a deep breath and let it go...

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