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to ask for 2 bits of baby advice as there is more traffic?

(153 Posts)
catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 01-Jan-13 19:57:10

Thank you thanks

DS is 13 months old

Issue 1: About 6 weeks ago we did CC with great sucess, he got it after 2 nights and was going down without a whimper and sleeping through.

For the last week he has been hysterical when we put him down again and it's been like night one all over again. We go in to re-assure at 5 min, 10 min and 15 min intervals. It's heartbreaking sad

I don't think it's separation anxiety starting to show (but could be wrong) He goes to nursery 2 days a week and is happy there. He spends 1 day a week with my DM and again is fine and happy. He sleeps over at DMs occasionally (and did so in the midst of this upset) and goes down with no issue there

Is there anything I can do? This is horrible.

Issue 2:

He thinks "no" is a game. Is that just normal for his age? My main concern is him playing with the TV which he could pull down and it scares me (wall bracket ordered)

If I say "no" he grins, shakes his head, giggles and does whatever got him the "no" again and again and thinks it's great fun

Any tips for re-inforcing "no" or do I just have to wait for him to get a bit older?

Thanks for any advice.....

SarahWarahWoo Tue 01-Jan-13 20:02:01


skatebauble Tue 01-Jan-13 20:02:20

Cant help with one as never tried cc with any of mine. Probably the reason dc3 has yet to do a full night sleep at 2.9...

B) definately an age thing. Just confident with mobility and realising he can do lots of things.
Continue saying no, remove him from the tv area, distract him. It can be exhausting.

SirBoobAlot Tue 01-Jan-13 20:02:34

He's crying because he is frightened. He has learnt that you are not going to comfort him in the way he needs. And considering this age is always terrible for separation anxiety, all you are doing is reinforcing his fears.

There is also so much evidence to show that both CIO and CC are not only harmless, but offer no long term sleep improvement.

What can you do? Pick him up. Children who are secure and confident they will be responded to learn to settle better.

''Issue 2'' is completely normal. Save ''no'' for the occasions you absolutely have to, like the TV, so that it doesn't become a casual word for him.

MargeySimpson Tue 01-Jan-13 20:04:17

My DS is 18months and is the worst sleeper ever despite co-sleeping/contorlledcrying/nocrysleepsloution/ginaford etc etc so no advice there.

In terms of 'NO'. We try not to use that word unless it's serious. Eg. if he's lifting the toilet seat up when i'm running a bath, then I say, "dirty". Or if he's banging the mirror in a hallway I say "dangerous" so if he's about to put his finger in a plug socket or run in the road, when i say 'NO' I mean it. You could spend all day saying no to them otherwise. Explain why. It helps!

Oreocrumbs Tue 01-Jan-13 20:04:34

Not sure about one, I didn't cc.

Think two is just normal for his age! DD was is like that!

You can get straps that you attach to the back of the tv and to the wall so the tv can't fall on them, if that would be any help. Think you can get them in mothercare etc.

sittinginthesun Tue 01-Jan-13 20:07:57

I think no. 2 is easiest to deal with. He's after attention, so do give him any. Say "no, you must not pull the television", then turn it off, pick him up, move him away, and pretend to ignore him. If you're doing something more interesting, and appear engrossed in it, then he'll potter over to join in.

As for no.1, I think he needs attention, at least for now. Why not try a new bedtime routine, and break the habit that way? Not personally a fan of CC, although I did let mine whinge a bit, but not cry.

catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 01-Jan-13 20:08:46

Thank you

DH is convinced the controlled crying is the way forward (we both got exhausted and I ended up with pneumonia) and it did seem to be going really well with no issues, but I don't think I can take another night of him crying for 40 minutes (not that we leave him for 40 minutes, I don't even get to the 15, more like 8 tops).

On the other hand I don't think I can go back to him taking an hour to get down for each nap and night sleep and him waking every 2 hours either sad

Good to know at least issue 2 is just normal and not something I am doing wrong

He's just fallen asleep now. Took 28 minutes of horrible tears and 5 visits to re-assure him sad

twinklesparkles Tue 01-Jan-13 20:09:15

I've used cc for my ds (now 5) it was the worse thing EVER! But it worked! It worked and we were both much better of for it. Its the hardest thing I've never felt so cruel. But once he accepted it, it was the best thing. Both of us got the sleep we needed and it confirmed to him the bond that I would still be there in the morning when he woke up.
I did it a lot earlier than 13 months though (6 month)

I think the no thing is just an age thing. Its just a stage he's going to have to get through, my sons still pushing my buttons when it comes to the word no .. And he's 5 lol!!

You sound like you are doing a great job smile

catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 01-Jan-13 20:10:27

I'll start saying "dangerous" as well as "no" sitting - sounds like a good idea to give him some context and I've ordered the wall strap thingies oreo

oldpeculiar Tue 01-Jan-13 20:10:57

he's developing a mind of his own and beginning to assert himself!

Does the tone of his crying sound like serious distress or annoyance?

catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 01-Jan-13 20:12:19

Thank you twinkles that's really nice to hear

This parenting thing is hard! I have zero friends or family with babies so MN is a lifeline! (Although DM is great but it's nice to get a wider view)

SirBoobAlot Tue 01-Jan-13 20:12:30

You left him to cry for 28 minutes at thirteen months old? Fucking hell. He's crying because he needs you!! I know what its like to feel so tired your bones ache, I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. But your little baby needs you.

The separation anxiety and night times will just get worse the more you send him the message that you are not there for him.

Leaving this thread now, comments like that make me feel sick, frankly.

catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 01-Jan-13 20:13:28

It's an angry cry I think oldpeculiar

DH takes the view that it is anger rather than anything else and he has got to learn he can't always get his own way and he knows we are there due to the 5min checks etc

cocoachannel Tue 01-Jan-13 20:14:15

DD is 20 months and for the last couple has been an angel going to bed for DH, her grandparents and auntie, but screams blue murder if I dare put her into the cot. I'm hoping it is a phase...

I work full time and tortured myself this was the reason (illogical I know) but she is just as bad when she spends all day with me at weekends and over the holidays!

Sorry, no help at all but wanted to add to te reassurance that you're not alone!

catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 01-Jan-13 20:14:52

No Sirboob

As I said, we go in at 5 - 10 minute intervals to re-assure him

catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 01-Jan-13 20:16:08

I do that too coco

I think,,,,,oh it's because I leave him in the day or now "oh it's because he's got used to me being there all the time at Christmas"

cocoachannel Tue 01-Jan-13 20:16:47

Parent of the year award to SirBoob who hasn't actually read the thread properly

Ignore that OP!

MushroomSoup Tue 01-Jan-13 20:18:49

I did CC. It worked for me.

Chottie Tue 01-Jan-13 20:18:49

I couldn't do CC so no help there, if my baby cried I picked him up. I am finding this post very difficult to read.......

trudolphtherednosedreindeer Tue 01-Jan-13 20:21:23

No help with 1 I'm afraid. I have criers sad.

No.2 <schoolboy giggle> I always used distraction with ds. I would say no, that's dangerous, and remove him 3 times. If he persisted I would try to distract him (often by pretending I had something in my hand then tickling him). It usually worked. Dd isn't so compliant though, and much more bold so interested to hear others ideas too.

catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 01-Jan-13 20:22:48

Did your DC have any sort of "relapse" Mushroom?

zzzzz Tue 01-Jan-13 20:24:22

Hungry? Cold?
Not tired enough?
Something scratchy/noisey?

I didn't do CC with mine, but if you cover the above, you'll get some joy eventually.

The " no" will only mean "no" if you provide a consequence. So if you say " no" about touching the tv and he does it anyway you must remove him. If he does what you want you tell him how good he is.

FestiveFiggy Tue 01-Jan-13 20:25:14

Jog on with your simpering sirboob not constructive!!!

NumTum7 Tue 01-Jan-13 20:25:54

We did CC a few months with DD (now 14 months) All went fine but every now and then we get a few nights where she doesn't want to settle - usually followed by a new tooth! Could there maybe be some other issue like that?

As for number 2, can't help you there - DD also thinks it's hilarious! Just keep reinforcing it, be consistent, and hopefully he will get the message eventually!

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