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To genuinely believe that 99.85% of other people's children are easier than mine.

(36 Posts)
mrsmindcontrol Tue 01-Jan-13 19:29:32

3 DS, me DP and his DD decided to take dog on walk today by local river. DS1 has 6 or 7 major meltdowns within moments due to trivial things (he has ADHD with major anger issues). DS2 lives in world of his own so has to be constantly watched to ensure not falling in river, wandering into path of truck etc. DS3 is toddler from hell & likes to repeatedly screech 'SHUTUP' and hit. Was just sooooo exhausting & typical of everyday life. Other families always look so serene and happy. I always end up wondering why I bother taking my monsters boys anywhere. Sigh.
I promise you, I'm way more exhausted by my children than any of you lot out there are by yours (disclaimer: excluding those of you dealing with physical/SN issues of course)

mrsmindcontrol Tue 01-Jan-13 19:31:08

Realised this sounds like I don't like my kids very much. I do. I love them to pieces but, together they DRAIN THE FUCKING LIFE OUT OF ME....!

FrustratedSycamoreSnowflake Tue 01-Jan-13 19:35:47

I'm in the 0.15%
You have my sympathy, having to be constantly vigilant is tiring.
I wouldn't however be able to get to the river due to dd2 refusing to stay in her car seat or buggy for longer than 2 minutes at a stretch, her and dd1 constantly fighting, screaming, and etc etc,
What we need is sleep. And extra eyes and hands.

Maybe we could combine forces and hire 5 extra people to watch DCs so we can stroll.

mariefrance1 Tue 01-Jan-13 19:36:44

I could give you a run for your money with my daughter who has ADHD, ODD, name it, she has it. All those things I used to laugh at and think didn't exist. Going out with her and DD2 is embarrassing and exhausting! Like you, I look at other families and wonder at their normality.

Silkwood Tue 01-Jan-13 19:37:05

Ah vent away. I have days like that. Then a friend actually said to me 'do you think your DD1 is more difficult than other people's DCs?'. I was outraged. I may think it myself but woe betied anyone who says that to me!!
Anyway - Hope you can relax a bit tonight. Tomorrow is another day etc

Silkwood Tue 01-Jan-13 19:39:18

I should clarify - my DD1 can be v challenging although no diagnosis. Manic does not begin to describe her behaviour at times.

5dcsandallthelittlesantahats Tue 01-Jan-13 19:41:42

Well to be totally honest they do sound "difficult". Mine have their little quirks (dd for example who has a complete meltdown if you say the word "die hmm)

hope you have a relaxing evening ahead smile

mrsmindcontrol Tue 01-Jan-13 19:42:59

Glad to hear I'm not alone. Even though I'm still silently thinking to myself that my DC are undoubtedly way more hard work than yours. I wouldn't say that out loud though. Oh no.

BeaWheesht Tue 01-Jan-13 19:43:25

How old are they?

All toddlers are from hell though, surely? wink

FrustratedSycamoreSnowflake Tue 01-Jan-13 19:45:13

silkwood more than one person has said that to me in the past, and it is very frustrating, (dd now had DXs coming out of her ears, not saying yours does or doesn't, but don't stop asking for help from professionals, there may be alot of brick walls but somebody will eventually listen)

Molepom Tue 01-Jan-13 19:47:15

You're just down, fed up and drained by the sounds of it. I'll make you laugh though.

I went to B&Q with a mate of mine in the summer for some bits for the garden. Me, my mate, her ds (autistic), my ds (ADHD and ASD) and my DD (NT). For the entire 20 minute drive there they were bickering constantly and winding eachother up. We parked up and turned around to face them all and read them the riot act due to their behaviour. They got out of the car nicely and waited at the path for us clearly wanting to get back in our good books.

(this isn't a stealth boast) I overheard another mother telling her kids off too, she then said "look at those kids over there, behaving nicely, they dont behave like a pack of animals in the car do they?"

At that moment I stopped and nearly bent over double laughing and had to explain that like her, we'd just read the riot act too.

My point is, all kids are annoying at times, especially your own and if anyone says otherwise they are lying. One day when you are out and about someone will be thinking the same about your kids as you are about other peoples "well behaved" kids at the moment.

Yeah they are draining, mentally, emotionally and physically. You constantly feel as though you are failing, stumbling along, wonder what the point is, can't deal with it any more etc etc etc etc..but you do because you have to and when you really think about it, you wouldn't want them any other way. I love my ds's SN, yes he's a major pain in the backside usually (like now, humming the starwars tune as loud as he can in my ear) but at 9, he's still a kid more than other kids at his age. They get to keep the magic of childhood for that little bit longer, it's priceless and worth every single moment of self doubt and wanting to just be on your own and/or run away from it all at times and just sleep.

Don't forget they are out of their usual routine this time of year so they are extra fraught and manic. They'll settle back to "normal" soon enough and you'll be longing for the holidays again.

blackeyedsusan Tue 01-Jan-13 19:48:28

yes... about right for the families out there... some do not go out as often though as it is a bloody nightmare. fotunately I have only one who is difficult and he is not always difficult, though when he is he is a bloody nightmare. dd is a dream, though she does have to have he hand held a vbit as she is hypermobile and may fall in the river.

don't forget you only see the ones who are out on a good day. if they aer having a bad day when they are behaving worse than yours they may still be inside or retreated somewherre out of the way.

mrsmindcontrol Tue 01-Jan-13 19:49:30

They're 6,5 & 2. My 2 yr is waaaay harder work than the other two were at the age. Even harder than the full time job that is DS1. I think DS2 is fairly average in terms of how hard to handle he is. DS1 & DS3 though......confused

DozyDuck Tue 01-Jan-13 19:51:50

You know, I found with DS if I did the same walk each time often he got used to the route and got on with it. (ASD) possibility?

ouryve Tue 01-Jan-13 19:52:05

I was about to say mine aren't, but then clocked that you have 3 of them, so I'm afraid you're probably right. I just have the two - one a 9yo with ADHD and ASD and his own anger issues and a very bouncy 6yo with ASD, who has to be kept on a harness when we take him out. OK, so maybe we're about level pegging wink

I've just sent my mum a short webcam video of DS2's raucous singing, just in case she thinks the house is too quiet without us grin

mrsmindcontrol Tue 01-Jan-13 19:52:10

Thank you MolePom, you're right. Maybe we'll have a good day tomorrow?? I'm sure I'm due one. Don't remember getting one in 2012

BeaWheesht Tue 01-Jan-13 19:52:14

I don't have the elder one but da has just turned 6 and dd just turned 2. Ds isn't too bad but is a daydreamer and dd is a fucking nightmare . We visited family today they were delightful, polite, ate all their dinner and shared. This is NOT normal but I pretended it wAs we have days like you described and it drives me mental. I feel your pain even if only a wee bit!

destinationanywhere Tue 01-Jan-13 19:57:07

I know what you mean. I have 4 boys and the constant squabbling and fighting drives me nuts.

No answers but I understand.

Oh and I also feel that most people have it easy by comparison!

mrsmindcontrol Tue 01-Jan-13 20:01:53

Thank you destination. Tis nice to have it validated.

yousmell Tue 01-Jan-13 20:15:18

Things might look angelic to the public but it's not always what it seems. My 3 are very well behaved but still have their heated times at home.

I hope you are getting some 'me' time to balance things out.


oldpeculiar Tue 01-Jan-13 20:16:23

[whispers] boys are usually more difficult -especially when there are 3 of them.

justaboutchilledout Tue 01-Jan-13 20:17:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

destinationanywhere Tue 01-Jan-13 20:35:30

I tend to mix in 'boy circles' but in my head I tend to think girls are easier. Of course I'm sure there are many mums of girls on here who may challenge me on that one.

mrsmindcontrol Tue 01-Jan-13 20:42:57

I definitely think boys are harder although of course I may be biased but my own situation. I think boys are hard wired to be tougher from the outset. More confrontational. More prone to fighting. More competitive. Of course there are exceptions but I think this is the general rule.

destinationanywhere Tue 01-Jan-13 20:43:56

i tend to agree but it doesn't seem to be the popular opinion on here.

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