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AIBU re DS's friend's mum?

(44 Posts)
neuroticmumof3 Tue 01-Jan-13 01:00:08

Sat watching fireworks at midnight when DS2 (18) called me. His friend has got 'more wasted than he's ever seen anyone' and can I go and pick them up? Friend doesn't have mobile with him so can't contact parents. Friend can't walk, has been sick and got kicked out of party for being so drunk. Luckily I don't drink so was able to go and pick them up. Got him back to his house, took ten minutes to get out of him which house was his! Lights on but no answer. Took another ten minutes to find out he had back door key (I'd been trying it in front door for ages like an idiot housebreaker!). DS2 and I more or less carried him round the back (through alleys). Got him upstairs to his room when his mother appeared. I explained what had happened and said I hadn't thought she was in as hadn't answered door. She just shrugged and looked annoyed because we had walked muck all over her cream hall carpet. We weren't really in a position to stop and take off our boots as we were trying to manhandle her 5'10" ds up the stairs!!

She did not say thank you at any point!

I don't expect a sainthood or anything but a simple thank you would have been nice. The whole event took about 45 minutes from start to finish. He was covered in vomit. It was not the most pleasant way to start 2013!

So AIBU to be a bit narked with her?

whistlestopcafe Tue 01-Jan-13 01:01:51

YANBU! I'm annoyed on your behalf.

Well done to you and your sensible ds.

mumineedawee Tue 01-Jan-13 01:07:08

Well done to you and your ds.

And at least that lad got home safely.

Ye did the right thing, just pat yerselves on the back and know that ye started 2013 with a good deed.

wannabedomesticgoddess Tue 01-Jan-13 01:09:02


Maybe she was half sleeping and will thank you tomorrow. <hopeful>

neuroticmumof3 Tue 01-Jan-13 01:22:15

I'm very proud of DS2 for being so responsible even though he was a bit drunk himself. I'd never leave someone drunk out on the streets if I could help it, you just don't know what might happen. It's quite an amusing way to start the new year. Also it made me realise how middle aged I am because I went prepared with a large plastic bowl, baby wipes and a towel in case of vomiting in the car! Poor lad was so drunk his vomit covered trousers were round his ankles as we were staggering around these alleys trying to get to his house. I wish I'd had a camera with me really! DS2 was going to stay with him if his parents were out - we wouldn't have left him alone in that state.

FreshLeticia Tue 01-Jan-13 01:31:09

Your DS sounds like a lovely young man. What a nice thing to do and he knew he could rely on his mum. 5Hope his DF feels ok tomorrow, poor sod.

mumineedawee Tue 01-Jan-13 01:31:43

My friends brother died aged 17.

He got drunk and left behind as he was vomiting and wandered off, fell asleep and asphixiated (sp?). It was and is unbelievably sad.

I always tell mine not to leave any friends behind.

Its very scary having kids heading out into the world. Its nice to know that there are parents like you neuroticmum

Grumpla Tue 01-Jan-13 01:35:28

My parents' landlord when they were first married lost a son the same way, on his 18th birthday.

Your son has been a good friend this evening and you have been a good mum too. Even if his friend's mum didn't realise the danger you should still be proud.

GW297 Tue 01-Jan-13 01:39:29

That's your first good deed of the year out the way. You must be proud of your son. I hope the other boy thanks you for your kindness in due course. Happy New Year.

ZebraInHiding Tue 01-Jan-13 01:57:08

Yanbu. And can I say how nice it is that your son can call you at times like this and that you should feel proud to have raised a sensible son who knows when to help a friend in need. Happy 2013!

MammaTJ Tue 01-Jan-13 01:58:23

YANBU, start the year in a good way!!

lisad123everybodydancenow Tue 01-Jan-13 02:01:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marriednotdead Tue 01-Jan-13 02:03:08

YANBU at all. Manners cost nothing. She may have been tired, pissed off at the state of the carpet and/or him but still...

It does however remind me of an incident in my early days of living with xp. He went out with a couple of colleagues, youngest one got paralytic. They attempted to drop him home but his mum point blank refused to have him in the house as 'he never left here like that so he's not coming back that way either!' Xp brought him back to ours. I barely slept and made xp put him in the recovery position as I was convinced he would vomit and choke in his stupor.

It still shocks me that people would get in that state more than once. I hope your DS's friend is more grateful than his mother when he finds out what you did.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 01-Jan-13 02:42:52


That boy's mother should be very grateful. What would have happened if your son and yourself hasn't been there to help?! My aunt and uncle are like that woman they are dickheads

neuroticmumof3 Tue 01-Jan-13 03:06:01

Stories like those of mumineedawee and grumpla are why I would always help out in circumstances like that. It's awful to think of a young person dying so needlessly. And as my name suggests I am a bit neurotic! I rather like his friend. A few months ago they ended up at mine when they were a bit pissed and ended up singing in my kitchen while I cooked them some pizza. They made amusing drunks that night!

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 01-Jan-13 03:15:37

Years ago my slightly younger cousin go so drunk the police were going to take him in for his own safety unless a responsible adult collected him. My "aunt and uncle" wouldn't pick him up because "he should learn his lesson". He was only just 18 and they were happy to have him spend a night in a cell. My dad collected him in the end.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 01-Jan-13 03:17:36

I am fully aware my aunt may well be on here. So if she's reads the above,let me add : yes,we all judged you then. Because you both always ignored your middle son.(cousin in question)

ToomuchheuchatendofHogmanay Tue 01-Jan-13 03:25:08

You should be very proud of your son, and yourself. And you have a great story to embarrass his friend with for a few weeks, hee hee.

Maybe the mum was mortified/a little drunk/sleepy/worried for her son? No I don't think so either but I am clutching at straws to explain such bad manners otherwise. Just a bad mannered person, sadly there are lots of them. But still, you and your Ds did A Good Thing so karma to you, dog turd on shoe to her.

ChristmasJubilee Tue 01-Jan-13 06:33:12

There have been three deaths locally (that I know of) in the last year in similar circumstances. One a boy of only 16. Your actions may have saved his life. I would phone his Mum to see how he is and let her know this.

misterwife Tue 01-Jan-13 07:16:25

YANBU to be annoyed about the whole thing - but I think there are mitigating circumstances as it's likely that the friend's mum had only just woken up and hadn't fully processed the situation. Hopefully you will get a thank you soon.

girlsyearapart Tue 01-Jan-13 07:32:48

Yanbu to be annoyed - really irritates me when people seem to have a total lack of manners.

You never know you might get a thank you today..

I called an ambulance for a friend when we were 16/17 at a house party. No one else wanted to call as the parents of the party giver were away & didn't know about it & they didn't want to get her into trouble.

Did it anyway & according to the paramedics (who couldn't believe she had got into that state on alcohol alone which she had) I saved her life.

RandomMess Tue 01-Jan-13 07:43:45

Also you never know when a "drunk" is actually ill with something else altogether - diabetic coma and such like.

BlackholesAndRevelations Tue 01-Jan-13 07:44:25

I plan on being just the kind of mum you are op, when my kids are teens. Good on you. I hope the boy is ok today and his mum feels ashamed of her behaviour (and her son's!)

diddl Tue 01-Jan-13 07:45:19

That was great of you.

Although I don´t get why your son didn´t phone his friend´s parents.

yousmell Tue 01-Jan-13 07:45:47

What a lovely kind person you are! I really hope my kids run into you if they ever get into trouble. Also your son sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders.

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