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To feel a bit sad for my DH after comments made about my giving birth to DD4?

(83 Posts)
RubyGrace17 Mon 31-Dec-12 13:02:51

Hi all,

I gave birth to DD4 on Christmas Eve. We, and both families, are thrilled. We didn't find out the sex in advance and would have homestly been happy either way. Our girls are delighted to have a new baby sister and we've been enjoying adjusting to being a family of 6 over Christmas.

However, today DH went into his office to pick up some files and took the girls to get a bit of breakfast, leaving DD4 with me to get some rest. Everyone was full of congratulations, apart from the senior partner, who has just become a dad for the first time to twin boys, in November. One of DH's female colleagues asked if we were "finished" having babies, now we're at 4, to which DH said that we were most likely finished as I'm planning on going back to work in August. The partner piped up "What a shame, you'll never experience being a "true father"" My DH asked what he meant and he claimed that a man only experiences true fatherhood when you are a father to a son.

DH happened to mention this to me in the passing, in a "how ridiculous is this" sort of a way but I feel a bit sad for DH, in my hormonal state! I am I being unreasonable to think this is a shitty thing to say? The partner by the way is 62 and holds rather chauvinistic views about life in general.

Thank you for any replies!

shrimponastick Mon 31-Dec-12 13:05:10

Congratulations !

Yanbu. Husbands colleague is a twat.

Enjoy your family.

ddubsgirl Mon 31-Dec-12 13:05:13

hes a twat,we have had the same but other way round,we have 4 boys and been told oh what a shame,your not a real dad unless you have a girl! you cant win,ingore and enjoy the new baby x

AKissIsNotAContract Mon 31-Dec-12 13:05:44

The senior partner is a dickhead. It's just as well he only has sons if he has such a negative view of daughters. Imagine being a daughter of a horrible dad like him.

mrsjay Mon 31-Dec-12 13:06:06

IS the partner usually such a twat what an arse my dh is happy to have girls boys never entered the conversation when we decided on not having anymore, I had a friend of my aunts say to me aww what a shame never mind you can always try for a boy,

sarahseashell Mon 31-Dec-12 13:06:11

shock that's terrible! silly man.

congratulations on your baby smile I'm sure your dh is delighted

MrsAceRimmer Mon 31-Dec-12 13:06:20

Congratulations on your 4th beautiful daughter!
Partner is a twat. Simples.
Never heard such bollocks in my life confused

shrimponastick Mon 31-Dec-12 13:06:22

Congratulations !

Yanbu. Husbands colleague is a twat.

Enjoy your family.

Bonsoir Mon 31-Dec-12 13:06:49

IMO all parents get a fuller experience of parenting if they have at least one child of each sex. It doesn't mean your life is wasted if you don't have one of each though!

Olbasoil Mon 31-Dec-12 13:07:04

The senior partner is a silly arse and therefore should be ignored. Congratulations to you all on the birth of your little dd

ImperialSantaKnickers Mon 31-Dec-12 13:08:11

YANBU, I'm not hormonal and it IS a shitty thing to say! Congratulations.

SugaricePlumFairy Mon 31-Dec-12 13:09:17

The prat who said that to your dh is a dickhead!

Congratulations to you and your dh on having a beautiful new baby. smile

festivelyfocussed Mon 31-Dec-12 13:09:19

What a knob!
Of course it was a shitty thing to say. It's also utterly untrue and one of the more ridiculous things I've heard said about parenting!!
Congratulations on the birth of your new baby girl.

mumof4sons Mon 31-Dec-12 13:09:53

Congrats on No 4!

What a horrible thing to say!

I am the mum of 4 great boys - no one has ever said to me that I'm not a 'true mum' because I don't have a girl.

Ignore such comments - enjoy the new baby girl!

ISawSantaKissingThePortlyPinUp Mon 31-Dec-12 13:10:13

I have 4dd's and dp gets the same sort of comments. It's pathetic in this day and age.

foreverondiet Mon 31-Dec-12 13:11:54

Stupid (and untrue / ridic) thing to say - each child is different regardless of sex. Would be like telling someone with 2 children they aren't a real parent as they have 2 children rather than four.

weegiemum Mon 31-Dec-12 13:11:56

Senior partner is a dick!

Dh & I have dd1, ds, dd2.

He never felt "less of a father" because he has 2 girls and one boy.

A male parent is essential to girls - a man who loves them for who they are (whether resident or not!) boosts theirself esteem and reduces risks of eating disorders.

Be glad your 4 beautiful girls have such a loving father!

yohohoho Mon 31-Dec-12 13:12:16

He is twat. As he is a twat anything he says should be instantly disregarded as twatish.


Ruprekt Mon 31-Dec-12 13:13:17

What a pillock!!!!!!!

Ignore him and enjoy your new baby.

What did you call her? Did you struggle for a girl name when you had 3 DD's?

<<Wistful thinking as mother of 2 lovely boys what she would have called 4 DD's>>

(Annabel Amy, Sofia Oriele, Beatrice Hoghton, Romilly Anne)

ThePathanKhansWitch Mon 31-Dec-12 13:13:29

What a twat! Next time some edjit makes a silly comment, your dh will just have to reply "Yes, it's just my lot in life to be surrounded by beautiful women"
Congratulations to you all.

HuffleWitch Mon 31-Dec-12 13:13:29

Well obviously, having just become a father at the age of 62, he is an expert on fatherhood!

Unfortunately the world is full of people with strange (even just plain wrong) ideas, and he seems to be one of them.

Congratulations on your fabulous DC4!

piprabbit Mon 31-Dec-12 13:13:54

Silly man.

I think there is something very special and wonderful about the relationship between father and daughters...but then again there is something special about every parent's relationship with their children.

TheoxenandDonkeyskneltdown Mon 31-Dec-12 13:14:04

Congratulations on your 4th DD! Honestly what a twat that senior partner is, evidently has some sort of Henry VIII attitude to offspring - dismiss that remark about being a 'true father' from your mind.

Ruprekt Mon 31-Dec-12 13:14:08

So is a mother of 4 boys not a true mother!

LynetteScavo Mon 31-Dec-12 13:14:29

That is one of the most stupid things I have ever heard of anyone saying!

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