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For telling 11 year old dd she can't come with us to see Les Mis?

(213 Posts)
Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:08:44

She turned 11 recently, still in primary school. Doesn't know about sex and stuff yet

From reading an American guide for parents website it seems the film shows fantine selling herself in a bit more detail (apparently it shows the man lowering her top, thrusting then leaving after paying)

Dd has friends at school who have been to see 12a films and indeed we have let her watch certain 12 dvd's (hairspray, Star Wars Harry potter etc)

Am I being a prude?

MajesticWhine Sat 29-Dec-12 22:45:03

"I'm struggling to understand why this has become a debate about sex ed"

because it is quite shocking that an 11 year old would not know anything about sex.

CoolaYuleA Sat 29-Dec-12 22:45:51

I took my very young DD to Priscilla in the West End - it was fabulous and my DD jigged about the whole time....

She was in utero though grin it will be a long time before I take her to actually "see" it, although she's been listening to the music since she first developed the ability to hear.

AuntFini Sat 29-Dec-12 22:46:49

I just want to comment on the part where you say she'll learn about sex I n high school.

I'm a trainee teacher. I taught my first sex ed lesson in October to a class of year 7s. I've had no training on how to teach sex ed, just what I've been told to teach by the citizenship coordinator.

Who do you want to teach your daughter about sex? A teacher you don't even know? Why don't you just do it.

Also, I'm fairly sure she'll know about sex by now.

minibmw2010 Sat 29-Dec-12 22:49:24

My DM never talked to me about sex, nothing about periods do I was completely unprepared for either, I still resent her hugely now and I'm 40 sad

Dont let your daughter down by assuming she's not old enough to know anything because you don't want her to be old enough !!!

YerMaw1989 Sat 29-Dec-12 22:53:41

Some of posts on here are taking an inch and running a mile!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Sat 29-Dec-12 22:54:10

Must stop MNing, am sitting in PILs living room drinking champers and am being unbelievably RUDE sitting here with the iPad whilst the others are chatting.

But first...

Can they sing???

The Hearts Verdict...

Hugh Jackman - absolutely brilliant.
Anne Hathaway - surprisingly great.
Amanda Seyfried - pretty good.
Russell Crowe - poor lamb, trying so hard, but just not keeping up with the others.
Young Cosette - very sweet indeed.
Grown up Ebonie - fab.
Marius - also fab.
Sascha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter - just hilarious.
Supporting cast - obviously cast for their voices as well as acting ability.

DH has now asked me 12 times if I am MNing, with increasing peevishness, so gotta go but will check back later in case there are more Q's wink

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:56:41

I think young code type is an ex Matilda. And grown eponine is Samantha barks who did a fab job at the O2 performance.

I dreamed a dream does found very breathy on the trailers though.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 22:58:22

Young cosette. My iPhone doesn't like names.

Livnatmum Sat 29-Dec-12 23:05:59

No, the young Cosette is not an ex-Matilda, apparently she has not done anything before apart from school plays. I cannot wait to see it, neither can my kids although they are much older than yours. I would have taken them at 11 though, they are both obsessed with it and have been for years and I think they would have focussed on the bigger picture rather than a small sex scene!

defineme Sat 29-Dec-12 23:06:01

You're resolutely not engaging because you're absolutely convinced you're doing the right thing for your dd by leaving sex ed to the school. I'm afraid world wide statistical evidence contradicts you. My 7 yrolds can process the crap they hear at school because they know the truth and know that any questions they asked will always be answered. It's never too late...

BalthierBunansa Sat 29-Dec-12 23:07:22

Perhaps the next musical you should take your kids to see OP is The Book Of Mormon grin (I'm just kidding, don't!)

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 23:10:13

That's top of dh's to see list.

He used to get cheap tickets when he worked in London through college often. Now it's harder to get down to see new stuff.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 23:10:53

I'm not engaging because this thread is about a film not the school curriculum.

cocoachannel Sat 29-Dec-12 23:12:38

On the sex ed thing, I went to a school that had a curriculum along the lines of periods one year, drugs the next, sex the year after that (an arts boarding school). We all knew pretty much everything by age 9 (then J3?) and that was 25 years ago. Luckily my Mum, a teacher, had talked to us about sex, others were left to the playground speculation and frankly inadequate ad untimely group teaching.

I have a school friend whose Mum was really surprised when in a recent conversation it was revealed that my friend knew about sex before the school chat. She genuinely thought this girl's life was all hockey and playing the lead Little Orphan Annie.

OhlimpPricks Sat 29-Dec-12 23:15:25

I was at the premiere in London in Early December. The 'thrusting' clip will probably go over the top of her head. If she is of quite a sensitive nature, probably best to go and see it yourself first and then decide.
I have seen the stage show many many many times (I am connected with the London production!) and there are a lot of differences. You are not just seeing a film version of the musical. It is a totally different experience.

What stands out for me in the film is that all the musical numbers were sung live, so you really get the singing from the heart. It took many takes to do some songs, all I can say is take some tissues, and wear waterproof mascara.
Normally the music/singing for a film is recorded in a studio, and played so the actors can lip synch in time as a movie is being filmed. On Les Mis, they had ear pieces playing the backing track. What you hear is how it happened on set.

For all of you familiar with the musical you will know the barricade scene. For the film, the prop buyers sourced authentic aged 'barricade material' and told the actors to build it with as much fervour just as they would if they were building it for real. How it landed was how it stayed for the shoot. No designing!

If any of you have tickets this January for the stage show in London (lucky you, they are like gold dust!) , there is every chance you will get to see Isabelle Allen, who plays little Cosette in the film , live on stage playing the part. She is absolutely enchanting, in real life too. For a little girl who has walked two red carpets in the last month (London and NY), she is so grounded, as are her Mum and Dad. Her Dad just beams pride!

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 23:20:51

That's made me want to come and see the stage show again. We came in August during kidsweek. Dd did a workshop.

Seen it on tour years ago but there's just something special about the west end.

BackforGood Sat 29-Dec-12 23:23:53

Pictures, of course YANBU. I won't be taking my 11 yr old either. I have no desire to show her scenes of a sexual nature, particularly those involving prostitution.
To others who want to turn this into a debate about sex education. I happen to think it's perfectly normal for Primary School children not to be the least interested in sex. Yes, some hit puberty earlier, and will no doubt have more questions, but there really are lots of very normal 10 and 11 yr olds who are perfectly capable of having friends of either sex, and just considering them mates, who think about things like sport and other hobbies, and 'going round to play', and don't have sex on the brain every minute. Yes, as little ones they will have asked about babies in tummies and got age appropriate answers, yes, as things come up in other films or programmes they watch, or on the news, they ask, and, I - for one - will answer as honestly as I can, but I'm not feeling any need to be showing them sex scenes at this age.
Oh, and if it's relevant, I have a 16 yr old and a 14 yr old that I do have age appropriate conversations with, but my 11 yr old certainly isn't interested.

BalthierBunansa Sat 29-Dec-12 23:26:56

BackforGood I do agree that it's perfectly normal for a 11 year old not to being interested in sex or having sexual feelings. BUT it's also perfectly normal for a 11 year old to have sexual feelings and that is where many parents like to stick their heads in the sand.

OhlimpPricks Sat 29-Dec-12 23:31:02

With the film opening, the demand for tickets has gone through the roof. Hardly any seats left till mid/end of January, and for weekends you're looking at the end of March shock
Not bad for a musical that was slated when it opened 28 years ago!

Kidsweek is a brilliant innovation running across the majority of London theatres, if you're not signed up for email alerts and like theatre, then do so. Great way to get cheap/free tickets to the major shows in the school holidays.

BackforGood Sat 29-Dec-12 23:32:19

I think that's a fair point Balthier, much more reasoned than some of those upthread. smile

WorraLorraTurkey Sat 29-Dec-12 23:33:47

I think you're very naive if you think your DD doesn't know about sex aged 11.

Or let's hope so anyway because if she doesn't know, how would she know not to engage in it and the subsequent dangers?


Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 23:34:58

Also GILT is a great promotion running from January to just before feb half term. Often buy Gilt tickets as Xmas presents.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Sat 29-Dec-12 23:35:28

Sorry if I've missed it, but what is the official rating?

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 23:36:33

How would she know not to engage in it??!!!

I would hope there were very few opportunities for a primary school child to engage in sex. How strange.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 29-Dec-12 23:36:48


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