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Is it ever okay

(29 Posts)
isabelladeste Sat 29-Dec-12 13:03:40

For one partner to say to the other 'can you wipe that properly please'?

Was in kitchen, dropped a bit of gravy on counter, wiped it up with soggyish cloth, which left a bit of a trail of water...which prompted the above comment.

Whatdoiknowanyway Sat 29-Dec-12 13:04:25

Why wouldn't you?

StuffezLaBouche Sat 29-Dec-12 13:05:40

Well, it sounds a bit snippy but I think worse things have probably been said.

FellatioNelson Sat 29-Dec-12 13:06:06

Er...yes. It is perfectly okay. Are you wondering if it's emotional abuse? confused It isn't.

This is a reverse AIBU isn't it. grin Your DH has copped the hump for you bossing him.

StuffezLaBouche Sat 29-Dec-12 13:08:18

Ah, I think you're right Fellatio about it being a reverse!

isabelladeste Sat 29-Dec-12 13:08:35

Rumbled FN! smile

msrisotto Sat 29-Dec-12 13:08:44

It's often necessary in my house...if you're going to wipe it up, wipe it up properly!

CailinDana Sat 29-Dec-12 13:09:28

Yes of course it is. It's really rude for one partner to make a mess like that and then not clean it up properly. In the past I asked DH to redo some bit of cleaning on a few occasions - he did get annoyed at first but when I explained that I had two options - do all the cleaning myself, or ask him to improve his cleaning -he understood where I was coming from. He is far better now and has asked me to redo things a few times, which doesn't bother me in the slightest.

As long as it's not done in a nasty way there's nothing wrong with it IMO.

ILoveSaladReallyIDo Sat 29-Dec-12 13:09:32

what's the point in doing it if it's going to have to be done again? just do it right the first time or don't bother??

TraineeBabyCatcher Sat 29-Dec-12 13:09:39

Dp gets this sort of thing said to him frequently occasionally- I'm still whipping him into shape ;) he will be house proud one day!

MsVestibule Sat 29-Dec-12 13:10:18

Depends whose kitchen it is! It's my domain in our house, so if DH said that to me, he'd get the hmm look from me. However, I'd be perfectly entitled to say it to DH without him getting stroppy.

Fakebook Sat 29-Dec-12 13:18:27

I say that to DH ALL the time. He never learns. He doesn't Hoover properly either.

ViviPru Sat 29-Dec-12 13:19:29

You both need to go for a nice long walk smile

everlong Sat 29-Dec-12 13:20:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FellatioNelson Sat 29-Dec-12 13:22:33

I get extremely twitchy and agitated when I watch people wiping dirty/crumb covered tables and work surfaces and they don't do it properly.

I want to scream at them.

'Your cloth is too wet! Wring it out a bit! That scourer is not absorbent enough! Run it under hot water first! You are just smearing the gravy around instead of getting it off! Look - there are still bits everywhere - are you BLIND?'


catgirl1976geesealaying Sat 29-Dec-12 13:23:34


Provided the tone isn't too snippy

Are you at the stage where the way he breathes annoys you? I find a walk helps grin

dreamingbohemian Sat 29-Dec-12 13:23:42

I think the tone matters.

I do make an effort to be more like, 'Ah you missed a bit, do you mind giving it another swipe?'

As opposed to <exasperated sigh> 'Can you do that properly?' which is what my inner voice is saying.

Chubfuddler Sat 29-Dec-12 13:24:03

FN I think we were separated at birth.

FredFredGeorge Sat 29-Dec-12 13:25:47

"Properly" is a loaded term though on something which is not a binary thing - one persons properly is another persons waste of time.

Leaving clean water on a counter - completely fine it'll evaporate and everything's good. So YABU if by the person who wiped it view it was done properly, the correct comment would be "Could you wipe that to my standard?" and they'd be quite in their rights to say "Nope, you do it." since it was done sufficiently well for them.

If you're sharing a kitchen though you do need to come to an arrangement that works, but that isn't making the person with the easier to meet standard doing extra work to meet the properly of the more exacting person. Since that places the whole cost on one person, which is unreasonable.

bluebiscuit Sat 29-Dec-12 13:25:53

The tone is crucial. It is perfectly fine to point out that the wipe up job was ineffective and to fix it if it is said pleasantly using better words than I have just done. grin

everlong Sat 29-Dec-12 13:30:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pandemoniaa Sat 29-Dec-12 13:31:41

DP and I would have split up years ago if he got huffy when asked to wipe kitchen surfaces properly. Because he knows that he doesn't!

FellatioNelson Sat 29-Dec-12 13:32:12

Leaving clean water on a counter - completely fine it'll evaporate and everything's good.

I HATE it when people do that. blush I can't stop looking it it out of the corner of my eye. And worrying.

FellatioNelson Sat 29-Dec-12 13:34:35

I cannot stand watching my MIL wash up either. She does it in a really brisk and no-nonsense fashion, but half the things still have bits of food on them. She is also one of those people how just rinses mugs and things under a running tap with no washing up liquid, and there is always a ring left around the inside of the mug. These things keep me awake at night.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sat 29-Dec-12 13:37:12

So long as you're not hovering outside the bathroom door, calling instructions to your partner while they're on the loo.

Think this is unrealistic? DH once got huffy with me about the amout of loo roll we seemed to be getting through, and had the sheer bloody affrontery to ask me how I was wiping my arse - in case he could suggest a more efficient method!

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