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PIL dog - advice please

(267 Posts)
MTBMummy Fri 28-Dec-12 20:19:03

We're currently visiting the in laws for Xmas an their dog has just gone for me, u bent downto give him a sausage and he went for my face - punctured my eyelid and caused a blood blister and a lot of bruising - I'll be getting one of them to take me to the doctor tomorrow morning, they're very rural, and everyone has had a bit too much to drink, so cannot drive.

This in itself is bad enough, but the dog shortly after snapped at dd and hurt her hand - he did not draw blood, but obviously scared her.

My question is how do I handle this - in laws are brushing it under the carpet - I've not been able to speak to DP alone since it happened. But I just want to leave, I am worried about going to the doctor, will I have to report the dog? It's not the first time he's had a go at me, but it is the first time he's made contact.

I'm kind of scared of the dog an can't stand being around it or even have DD in the same room - and I'm normally a massive dog person.

Aside from a banging headache I'm ok, I've cleaned it up and taken some ibuprofen, it's a bit swollen and bruised but I think it'll be ok.

Any ideas on how to handle this?

breatheslowly Fri 28-Dec-12 20:42:41

In my family a dog that bit (broke skin) unprovoked would be put down (or at a push rehomed). Obviously you can't make them put the dog down, but I would make it clear that none of you will be in the room/house again with the dog there.

For tonight I would get a cab to A&E to have the dog bite looked at (it is likely to get infected as dog saliva is full of bacteria) and close to the eye is a massive risk. Call a cab and if you don't have cash then you can check that they will take a card. Take DD with you.

MTBMummy Fri 28-Dec-12 20:47:09

So sorry to hear that Sarge - it hurts like hell doesn't it - think I'm going to try and get some sleep. This headache is just getting worse

Thanks so much for all the advice have bee putting bits in bags and will speak to DP tomorrow morning and explain either we all leave, or DD and I will be going on our own.

festivelyfocussed Fri 28-Dec-12 20:47:39

Yes, defo get some medical advice/ attention for your poor eye.
Cannot understand the protectiveness ppl have towards offending dog!!!

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Fri 28-Dec-12 20:48:04

You need to leave ASAP and you need to tell your 'D'P to man up and stop being such a twat

The entire time your DP and pils are sweeping this under the carpet your dd is in danger from the dog, they are all behaving like a bunch of selfish arseholes

I hope you feel better soon, what an awful thing to happen

WelshMaenad Fri 28-Dec-12 20:48:52

Good for you. Please stick to your guns.

If you find time please cone back and update so we know you're ok.

DontmindifIdo Fri 28-Dec-12 20:51:36

i think you should get it looked at. Can you call a taxi? Go downstairs, say to DP infront of PIL that your eye is bad and you need ot go to A&E. Get DD out of bed and take her too - tell your DP you don't trust the dog in the same house as her. Then make it clear you are leaving in the morning, and not coming back.

I can't believe they'd let their dog bite their DGD. They obviously don't care/are used to it snapping.

Sargesaweyes Fri 28-Dec-12 20:53:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MTBMummy Fri 28-Dec-12 20:54:30

Thanks all - I'm in north England, about an hour on from Newcastle, right on the Penines. So proper middle of no where.

I think DP is avoiding me as he knows I'll say I want to leave and he'll have to drive the 8 hours home, and deal with the fall out from his folks.

I promise I'll be at the hospital first thing tomorrow,I've done first aid and it's cleaned and dressed well at the moment. If it gets worse over night I'll kick up a big stink, but right now it's beat to leave it to morning.

I seriously doubt it'll be PTS and I'd never wish that on a dog, but hopefully they'll now take my concerns about lack of training seriously

Just to reiterate DD is never left alone with any dog, but will now nt be in the same room as a dog anymore.

DontmindifIdo Fri 28-Dec-12 20:56:37

Simply put, DD leaves in the morning, your PIL are welcome to visit you without the dog or you'll visit there if the dog is in kennels/staying with others but you won't let DD be in the same house as a dog that has attacked her and you. Your DP can explain that to his parents however he likes.

His DD's safety can't be lower down his priorities than his parent's feelings.

Whocansay Fri 28-Dec-12 20:58:25

Call an ambulance or get a taxi to A&E. Eye injuries are serious and you have a headache. Do not sleep on it. Call someone you trust to come and get your children. Your husband is an idiot who is not prioritising his wife and children. It is NOT your fault.

And yes, report the fucking dog before it injures someone else. And personally, I wouldn't give a shit about the feelings of people who are minimising my feelings and injuries, and who are willing to put their grandchildren at risk over a pet.

I hope you're OK, but I bet you're in shock.

Lovethesea Fri 28-Dec-12 21:03:27

You poor thing.

I'm a big dog lover but aggression shows an unhappy or scared dog as well as being dangerous for all concerned. Doesn't matter what breed, all dogs can get ill and turn vicious or see themselves as pack leader and act aggressively. Definitely look after your eye sight and your DD needs to know she is safe too.

I would also never trust the dog again - with no clear reason for the attack there is no predicting when the next bite will be.

Sounds really awkward with PIL, sympathies. Perhaps a calm No to any future requests to bring the dogs to you - ie find kennels or a friend to dogsit instead, and when you visit next time either never in the same room or a B&B??

ChristmasIsForPlutocrats Fri 28-Dec-12 21:20:29

You can call NHS Direct on 0845 4647. Someone will ring back to assess you and either reassure you enough that you can sleep or give you the professionsl backing to demand the A&E/ urgent care walkin tonight.

maddening Fri 28-Dec-12 21:26:52

At least call nhs direct - they can get a nurse to call you back to at least confirm if you are ok to wait till morning at least.

charlearose Fri 28-Dec-12 23:33:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrslaughan Fri 28-Dec-12 23:37:11

are you up to date with your tetnus jabs?

fortifiedwithtea Fri 28-Dec-12 23:48:40

Do seek medical advice. My SIL is a police officer and was bitten by a dog on duty and has been very ill. Dog mouths are full of germs.

CoolaYuleA Sat 29-Dec-12 00:48:30

Am I the only person who noted that the OP says she previously kicked the dog.....

Dogs who are afraid as they tend to be when they have been kicked by a person are not able to reason, they react and can do so long after the fact.

I am not saying that the dog should have done what it did - but dogs have memories, and one of this dogs memories is the OP kicking it. This will have had an impact.

I have dogs, I also have a DD - I never allow my older dog in the same room as my DD, she is going blind and just wants a quiet life. She has never done anything to DD, but I won't risk it. Likewise I don't let DD play with balls and the dogs, especially one ball with two dogs, it sets up potential jealousy. But again, that doesn't in any way make what the dog did to the DD acceptable.

My SM has a dog that is massively jealous of my DD - and went for her. I told my DF that I would not be visiting with DD again unless the dog was put in another room. This happened for a while, SM is once again trying to push the boundaries and started to let the dog in by "accident" so I have started to only visit when DF is there as he puts the dog out.

I would be asking that the dog be kept in a seperate room or I would be leaving with DD.... But I also think the OP needs to be aware that her kicking the dog also has a part to play in how the dog reacts to her as dogs rarely react aggressively with no trigger. The dog feels threatened by the OP for good reason and that will have informed the reaction.

WelshMaenad Sat 29-Dec-12 00:53:38

I'd kick a dog that was attacking my pet. Don't be sanctimonious.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire Sat 29-Dec-12 01:00:09

Cool, she kicked the dog because it had her cat pinned to the floor and had taken a chunk from it. This dog is obviously not agressive because she kicked it. It went for OPs DD too. So that is a cat, an adult and a child. It is an agressive dog.

BoerWarKids Sat 29-Dec-12 01:06:03

I can't believe what a dickhead your DP is being! shock

Who cares about the fallout with his parents when you, his wife, has been attacked.

forgetmenots Sat 29-Dec-12 01:06:22

I'm terrified of any dogs. This would completely freak me out.

I respect all animals but I would be finding it very difficult to have any respect for this dog and more importantly its owners. Get your dd out until they are willing to separate her and the dog at all times. Your DH needs to support you on this, it's about your child's safety.

CoolaYuleA Sat 29-Dec-12 01:09:59

Dogs are animals and hunting animals at that.... It is natural behaviour for them to see smaller animals as prey. To a dog a cat is prey. To some breeds more so than others.

I am in no way excusing what the dog did to her DD - but I don't think that a dog can be wholly to blame for being aggressive to a person who has previously been violent towards it. That isn't being sanctimonious - that's understanding animal behaviour.

Would I ever kick a dog? No. If I did would I expect the dog to react aggressively and to continue to react to me aggressively? Yes. Dogs react aggressively out of two things - anxiety and fear..... What do you think the OP kicking the dog for following a natural instinct caused? Anxiety and fear.

The dog is not solely to blame here.

WelshMaenad Sat 29-Dec-12 01:16:00

No, the dogs owners are mostly to blame. They sound like my PIL, who also gave a snappy bitey dog whose behaviour they excuse.

The OP is the VICTIM. The dog has snapped at her in multiple occasions as well as attacking her pet. She is not to blame.

forgetmenots Sat 29-Dec-12 01:17:43

I hear you cool but it is the owner's responsibility to keep their dog away from people when it is clearly aggressive, regardless of what caused the dog to bite. Understanding human behaviour is important too and it sounds like OPs in laws haven't trained the dog at all if it still behaves like a hunting animal in the home with a cat and a child.

IAmNotAReindeer Sat 29-Dec-12 01:23:13

Nobody has said the dog is solely to blame. They have said the PILs continued blindness to its behaviour and unwillingness to do anything to mitigate it which is making for a dangerous situation.

They need training, the dog needs training as well as behaviourist and vets visits to get to the bottom of this if they want a happy well adjusted dog. They just continue to behave as if nothing is happening and lets face it happy, well adjusted dogs don't react like this to people. The whole kicking thing is just adding to it. Yes dogs hunt but well trained dogs will only do so when commanded to or the whole gun dog and hunting industry would have fallen flat on its face long ago as said dogs wouldn't be able to be trusted to do their job properly.

The dog is clearly letting everyone know it isn't happy with the situation. Whether that is through anxiety agression or pain induced steps need to be taken now to ensure it doesn't happen again. The OP has said she is perfectly willing to remove herself and her child as she knows the PILs won't remove the dog but her DH doesn't want her to to avoid making a scene.

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