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To hope my Ladybits recover? :(

(95 Posts)
Zara1984 Thu 27-Dec-12 19:00:01

It's been nearly 9 weeks since I had my baby - I had a second degree tear and stitches. Am doing pelvic floor exercises because my GP said the internal wall of my vagina is quite weak.

DH and I had sex for the first time post-birth the other day. I am very very loose, not really enjoyable for either of us. TMI sorry - It was only enjoyable for him (or me) a bit more from behind (and annoyingly, that position is most ouchy on my stitches).

The term "vagine like sleeve of wizard" comes to mind. sad

Does it get better!?! Will it get tighter over time? I seriously did not expect to be this loose - my baby was inly 7lb 4oz!

FFS for the next one I want a c-section sad

AIBU unreasonable to hope my fanny recovers? sad What timeframe for improvement should I expect? I was thinking if after a year it wasn't better I'd very seriously look into reconstructive surgery.

BunFagFreddie Fri 28-Dec-12 10:38:43

The thing is with PF exercises, it's like working out the rest of your body. It takes time and commitment to see results, so don't get disheartened! You need to be dedicated.

elizaregina Fri 28-Dec-12 11:11:15

Yep. it wasnt pleasant not being able to sit up properly having to shuffle forward etc...but i wasnt in any pain really - and it really was great for ME being able to just go to the loo.

with VD i was dreading the loo every single time - crying wailing in pain - scared to shower do no 2's etc....for a good ten days of intense pain = lesser thereafter....

splashymcsplash Fri 28-Dec-12 11:58:22

Hi op. It's tough but wanted to be another voice to reassure you that it will get better, just needs time. Also this is no reason to have a c section - they come with a whole host of problems that also take a lot of time to resolve. At least you are mobile currently!

9 weeks is very early. Be easy on yourself!

katkit1 Fri 28-Dec-12 17:06:45

dizzy - spot on re: drawing

smile4me Fri 28-Dec-12 19:19:32

Hi, jumping in late here but totally having the same issues! Cant complain about birth at all, but I'm quite small and had 9lb baby after 3.5 hrs of hard pushing... so pelvic floor totally wrecked, episiotomy and 2nd degree tear, along with cervix prolapsed, cystocoele and rectocoele. Discovered the prolapse at about 1 week postpartum once the swelling had gone down enough to tell what was what and was absolutely mortified, then discovered cystocoele about 2 weeks later (explained why I couldn't pee properly!). Midwife did a fantastic job of stitching (although I was the same as you Jamdoughnutfiend as the local anaesthetic hardly worked and it hurt a dam site more than the birth!, but she admitted at last check up that my anatomy wasn't quite perfect anymore! I was quite paranoid about having sex for the first time as not only do I have 'vagine like sleeve of wizard' but also other organs poking into fanjo at the front and back blush but DH assured me (faithfully promised) it didn't feel any different! smile TBH even worse has been that when I bend over I appear to suck air blush blush which will be very embarassing at some point in future I'm sure!

MW told me that should be much better by 3 months or to ask for referral to specialist... now just 3 months and things have improved a lot (in that cervix is now back inside body and doesn't feel like my guts are going to fall out when I run!) but still pretty terrible otherwise. MW also said things just get worse with each pregnancy and that it's the first one that does the damage! Can't decide whether to see specialist or not... can't have surgery until finished having DCs so only option is PF exercises! I had been doing PF squeezes by mad and even tried some Ben Wa balls (did nothing, probably because prolapsing bladder held them in rather than PF!) and thought i'd 'check' to see how good I was getting... gutted to discover that even my best squeeze was only just feelable!

Anyway, sorry for long post and that I can't provide any reassurance that it will get back to normal 9although definitely has improved), but I keep telling myself that it was worth it all for the DD (most of the time anyway). I have also seen some very disgusting infected caesarean wounds so that's not very appealing either!

smile4me Fri 28-Dec-12 19:21:55

Ha just had another thought, maybe someone should tell all the teenage girls at school that this happens after birth... may reduce the teen pregnancy rate? smile

drizzlecake Fri 28-Dec-12 19:24:21

Not sure what a second degree tear is but had stitches with all 3 DCs and 16 stitches with third. But things recovered over time(a year of so?) . I think walking(or running) helps with those pelvic muscles, I meant to do PF exercises but didn't really.

Elkieb Fri 28-Dec-12 19:28:48

Smile- please go and see the specialist. I am having surgery for stress incontinence and prolapse after a 9lb 13oz baby- and I can have more children through CS. They can help you, don't sit and suffer hmm

TartyMcTart Fri 28-Dec-12 19:33:30

We had sex after a few weeks (I wanted to have done it before my 6 week check in case there were any problems - on the advice of my mother!) and TBH I didnt feel much at all. OH seemed happy though so I can't have been too baggy!

Like everyone says though, it will all get better with time!

MummytoMog Fri 28-Dec-12 20:36:52

Hmm. We were back at it after six weeks following my forceps delivery - felt a bit odd the first couple of times according to DH but fine after that. Was much better after my second delivery, back to normal within six weeks or so. Didn't bother with exercises, but Pilates is generally good for this sort of thing, and I do that religiously every week (but only for an hour). Might be worth doing some gentle pilates? Btw my friend who had a section had terrible trouble with vaginismus afterwards, so it's no guarantee of a lovely honeymoon fresh fanny.

Zara1984 Fri 28-Dec-12 21:23:42

smile I totally agree that teenage girls should be told about this!

Researching pelvic toners and Pilates classes right now.

I had a quite fast delivery (after second prostin gel my waters broke spontaneously, howled the place down for an epidural, dilated from 1-10cm in 90 minutes, they allowed 1 hour for head to descend, then I pushed for 55 minutes. DH said the shocked look on the midwife's face when I tore as DS crowned makes him think she wasn't expecting me to tear (and I told her to go ahead and do an episiotomy if necessary, she didn't need to ask!). So I'm terrified another potentially longer vaginal delivery would make things worse!

Went for a jog this morning and it didn't feel like the bottom was going to fall out of my pelvic area... So the gapeyness is maybe the key issue.

I adore my DS and yes he was worth it.... But I am not prepared to live my life with a flappy fanny. Hell no! I would eventually get reconstructive surgery if it didn't improve to an acceptable level in the long term after having kids.

If through time and exercise I can't get my boobs a bit less sad and deflated a boob job once I've finished having kids is DEFINITELY on the list...

smile4me Sat 29-Dec-12 04:13:52

Has anyone used the pelvic toner (the one you can get on the NHS)? any success? Was thinking that could be the nest thing to try!

Zara I had no idea you could get fanny tightening surgery... maybe up for that one too grin and i've also heard that boobsshrink to less than pre-preggo size after breast feeding, so will probably be signing up for a boob job too! Maybe a surgery holiday to Thailand coming up in a few years time smile

festivelyfocussed Sat 29-Dec-12 08:11:46

It will improve. Keep doing your exercises and ask your GP for a gyanae referral if you're having trouble such as bladder control I the next w weeks.
Fwiw, a c section might often be considered by an obstetrician after a difficult birth to avoid further pelvic floor damage.

GreenPetal94 Sat 29-Dec-12 17:55:21

Keep doing the exercises and you may as well go back for the referral, but for me things got better on their own after 3-6 months. I had forceps delivery and lots of stitches. I've had two kids now and all is fine with no medical intervention.

However when they asked if a student could stitch me after 3 days in labour I said "NO!!"

OverWintered Sat 29-Dec-12 18:12:40

zara do NOT jog. do NOT jog......

I jogged too early. I thought I would be OK 12 weeks after birth. Built up slowly over a few weeks. Felt quite pleased with myself. Carried on, few weeks later gave myself a prolapse.

Give your self many, many months before you attempt high-impact exercise, especially after tear and stitches.

Eeebygum Sat 29-Dec-12 18:46:46

Not read all the thread, but just thought I would add my experience.

First child, 6lber, I had an Episiotomy and Ventouse delivery. Took about 4/5 months to enjoy sex fully again.

Second child, 9 1/2lber, I he a second degree tear, and also wasn't stitched up quite well :/ ended up with an infection, and walked like I was riding an horse for weeks upon weeks. It was about 4 months again after, when we tried to have sex. It wasn't enjoyable at all. I ended up going back to the gp, who said to give it till 8 months and if not improved, then I will be referred. Was told to do loads of pelvic floor exercises too (which I ALWAYS forgot to do).

Never needed to go back about it grin things got back to normal a month or two later. Don't worry, and just wait it out. Chances are, things will go back to normal in their own time. But if they don't, there are things they can do to help you so it won't last forever.

Spuddybean Sat 29-Dec-12 18:56:02

Can anyone advise on exercises to do?

I went to the physio and she told me to do 'exercises' and come back for check up app. it wasn't till i got home i realised she hadn't actually told me what exercises to do. She checked i was squeezing right, but that was it. So should i hold? do reps?

Zara1984 Sat 29-Dec-12 21:32:30

Eeeek overwintered!!! Thank you for warning me shock I was about to get really stuck in to building back up to 10k as I used to run every day pre-preg. Fuck. Going to stick to swimming and the gym for now. Really really need to see a physio and get proper advice (bloody Christmas, everything closed!) - GP said I was good to exercise as per normal from 6 weeks but I didn't specify I preferred doing high impact stuff.

Even though DS is sleeping through the night DH and I haven't attempted sex again yet since that one time last week....

smile4me Sat 29-Dec-12 22:42:20

Thanks overwintered I was just about to start running again too, so will def take it easy and build up slowly!

Kinda looks like most GPs know FA about women's postpartum issues!

Rainbow good on you for saying no to the student stitcher! It's not the sort of area you want novice handiworksmile

spuddybean everyone seems to get different advice, so can you call and ask your physio? My hospital advice was squeeze and hold for 2 breaths, repeat x3 to start then increase gradually to x12. also do some 'rapid fire' squeezes (quick squeeze release squeeze etc). Do three times a day.

Ha all this talk of exercises is making me squeeze like mad grin

OverWintered Sat 29-Dec-12 23:52:06

pelvic floor exercises are dull, dull, dull, but they do help and are so important.

I remember shedding a few tears after the first time I had sex postpartum. It was so sad, was this it? ruined? I could hardly feel a thing.

It does get so,so much better, but it takes time.

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