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To think adults who can't drive are a nuisance

(816 Posts)
Atthewelles Thu 27-Dec-12 14:07:10

Barring situations where an illness or financial circumstances proscribe it aibu to think adults who can't drive are a PITA. People have to constantly go out of their way to collect/drop them off places; arrange plans around the times that suit the non-driver who can't travel solo but has to tag along with you; always be the designated driver who can't have a drink while the non driver happily slurps a third glass of wine etc etc etc

Yes, I have been spending too much time with a non driving sibling over the family Christmas but AIBU to think that a perfectly functioning adult (who is extremely technically minded) in full time paid employment, should bloody well learn to drive.

forgetmenots Thu 27-Dec-12 14:23:49

Only a nuisance if they expect others to drive them. Then it's not a driving problem it's an attitude problem.

I don't drive for medical reasons. I spend a fortune on taxis and public transport. Would never assume or expect a lift, YANBU to think that's a PITA but it's not about being a non-driver! smile

Tee2072 Thu 27-Dec-12 14:24:51

If an elderly relative needed my help, I would pay for a taxi. Probably less than using a car.

I don't drive. I never ask for lifts. I walk or bus or train or taxi.

How is that imposing on a driver.

YABU and mean.

FunnysFuckingFreezing Thu 27-Dec-12 14:25:00

so Sugarplum You don't drive because your IL's don't drive and if you did they would ask for lifts everywhere? that's mad that is grin

There are amazing inventions these days- things such as buses and cabs :D

dreamingbohemian Thu 27-Dec-12 14:25:50

How about this, instead of insisting that everyone in the world learns how to drive, you just say NO when you don't want to drive people?

Isn't that a bit more efficient?

Anyway it doesn't matter if people know how to drive if they don't have a car, which for many many people is just not a practical thing to own.

ifancyashandy Thu 27-Dec-12 14:26:37

I have failed my test 3 times and had a panic attack behind the wheel. Would you still prefer me to be a driver?

You probably think I'm weak. But up yours. With the greatest respect.

I don't ever ask for lifts, I expect to get public transport and pay for taxis. And if someone offers me a lift, I always offer to pay for petrol

Oh, and on that 'weakness' thing - I run multi million pound budgets and teams of up to 60 people in a very very stressful and public environment. But yeah, I'm weak hmm

insancerre Thu 27-Dec-12 14:26:41

santashohoho From the op, first line in fact- "Barring situations where an illness or financial circumstances proscribe it aibu to think adults who can't drive are a PITA"
That's a very thick tarring brush the op has there.

WorraLorraTurkey Thu 27-Dec-12 14:27:05

Funnys I don't drive and nor does my DH but we both can.

The difference is we choose not to because we don't need to

And we certainly don't put upon anyone for lifts.

Actually I think with the stupid price of petrol and everything else, there'll be a lot more people giving up their cars in the future - if they live somewhere that means they don't actually need one.

monkeymamma Thu 27-Dec-12 14:27:17

Yanbu. And I say this as a non-driver (and self-confessed pita). Currently taking lessons and after nearly 15yrs of trying I hope to pass my test early next year. If everyone on this thread could please keep their fingers crossed for me I'd be very very grateful!

SofaKing Thu 27-Dec-12 14:27:52

What an upsetting post.

So not damaging the environment, contributing to congestion, obesity, and running the risk of killing yourself and other people every time you want to get somewhere fast is selfish behaviour?

Perhaps you should give up your car for a week and manage on public transport. Then maybe you'd realise how ignorant it is to organise meetings somewhere you can only drive to, and then moan if the non-driving person can't make it or asks for a lift?

Yabu. Driving cars causes more deaths than anything else. It really shouldn't be socially acceptable at all, but it is because it is so convenient. Posts like yours are frightening because you can't seem to see driving as the sadly necessary evil it is, not a dangerous pursuit that everyone should be happy to do.

And as and aside, do you realise if the 50% non driving adult population suddenly took to the road congestion would be so bad you couldn't travel anywhere?

SugarplumMary Thu 27-Dec-12 14:28:20

I got the bus when DH was in hospital in a different city - I did need help then I admit someone to look after the DC as it was too late for them by bus.

TBH though they made it plain the DC weren't welcome on the ward anyway - despite Dh being desperate to see them so even driving I'd have needed help.

As soon as he was home - we hired a wheel chair and I pushed him with the DC in tow in various forms to GP then got him on the bus.

NotLinda Thu 27-Dec-12 14:29:08

I have three non driving relatives and we live in a small rural town. every xmas dh and I host, and there are up to 14 people who join us. On top of all the xmas prep and planning, we also end up having to co-ordinate transport for them.

it is very irritating, but also all bound up with other annoying relative issues.

Brandybutter, your attitude sucks. If the OP has even one friend or relative like you, then no wonder they feel as they do.

for me its non driving relatives that are the issue. i have no non driving friends and if i did, i know they'd be considerate as i dont tolerate free loading friends in any form! grin

as an aside, i think my lovely but self absorbed db is genuinely annoyed that my mum and i moved somewhere semi rural, as it makes his visits to see us more tricky transport wise!

fatlazymummy Thu 27-Dec-12 14:29:16

YABU. I don't drive, and it's got fuck all to do with you.

usualsuspect3 Thu 27-Dec-12 14:30:00

I don't drive and I don't expect anyone to ferry me about either.

So shove your car where the sun don't shine.

MerylStrop Thu 27-Dec-12 14:30:38

"It's not a driving problem, it's an attitude problem"
^ this

Lueji Thu 27-Dec-12 14:30:43

I don't care about non-drivers.

Just as long as they're happy to catch the bus or get a cab.

Having said that. I always give lifts when I can. But I draw the line at a 5/10 min radius from where I'm going.

Otherwise, I tell the non-drivers that I'm leaving at x time and they'll be welcome to come if they want. I wouldn't rearrange plans to suit a non-driver who can pay for a cab.

Finally, about not drinking. If you were alone you would automatically be the designated driver. So, if you wanted to drink, you'd get a cab, right? So, why not with the non-driver - and share the bill as well?

I'm afraid YABU.

strumpetpumpkin Thu 27-Dec-12 14:30:52

i dont drive and dont ask people for lifts. well maybe occasionally my mum or my dp, but not often.

I am actually taking driving lessons now, but its hard because i suspect im dyspraxic although nothing diagnosed, but ive been taking lessons for nearly 3 years now and failed 7 times

DontmindifIdo Thu 27-Dec-12 14:31:02

Crashdoll - How does someone getting the bus to work affect you?!

because very few people only need to go to work and back. If you have to rely on public transport or lifts, then you are limiting group meet ups to places on the bus route or giving you a lift, it has to be factored in by everyone else. While you could get a taxi to/from the pub so you don't need a lift, you can also never "take it in turns" to do the driving. You can never be the one to take granny to the hospital, never be the one who gets called at 3am because how would you get there when the buses aren't running etc.

It's not that you have to ask for lifts, the assumption is that a driver will offer.

However, a lot of non-drivers do go out of their way to minimise the effect they have on others, sounds like the OPs siblings don't.

I will be teaching DS as soon as he's old enough to learn to drive, I do think it's an important life skill and even if he can't afford a car for a few years, as I couldn't when I first left home, it will be useful. Having a licence (when I couldn't afford a car) did mean that for example when my DB moved house and needed someone to drive his car when he drove the van he could add me on to his insurance for a couple of days to help out. I was able to take it in turns to drive a hire car on a holiday so someone else didn't always have to be the one driving and not having a drink with dinner etc.

SantasENormaSnob Thu 27-Dec-12 14:31:14

As long as it doesn't impact upon me I couldn't care less tbh.

Although the none drivers I do know seem to rely heavily on others for lifts. Fortunately it's not me they ask grin

DameMargotFountain Thu 27-Dec-12 14:31:45

i can drive, meaning i hold a current driving licence, but choose not too

<only added comment to piss OP off even more>

BunFagFreddie Thu 27-Dec-12 14:31:57

SofaKing, I must applaud you! People really should put the environment over convenience. The UN's Agenda 21 has already outlined that there are plans to get people off the roads, at some point giving up your car will be an inevitability. I'm willing to put money one that.

InNeedOfBrandyButter Thu 27-Dec-12 14:33:57

Could someone give me a really good reason to drive please?

I live in walking distance to shops and school

I get my asda shop done online, also clothes and such

I live in a city

I have 3 different bus routes and a stop right outside my house, I could wait by my window see the bus and run out my door to catch it I live that close to the bus stop

I don't have spare money 7days travel for me is £16

I go on holiday and still use trains and such and have never had a problem

Going out with friends we all catch buses so we can drink anyway, or one person is the driver and gets money off all of us for picking us up and taking us home

My elderly relatives are not that elderly yet and still drive

I am quite capable of walking, catching buses and trains if I want to take dc out and they walk miles and miles sometimes and enjoy it.

For family stuff I have a brother a sister a mum nana and stepdad, someone put of them will be driving and will pick me up. I always give petrol money. If I was driving I would still want a lift off of the nominated driver

I really can't see how a car would benefit my life.

FutTheShuckUp Thu 27-Dec-12 14:35:55

Ineedofbrandybutter- you sound just like the kind of non driver that irritates the OP and many others. Why should you not make any effort to see friends or family?

SugaricePlumFairy Thu 27-Dec-12 14:36:01

OP reserve your irritation for your annoying non driving sibling who's pissing you off grin.

Have another drink, or are you driving? wink

crashdoll Thu 27-Dec-12 14:37:06

DontmindifIdo I don't expect anyone to go out of my way nor to organise my life. How patronising that you think us non-drivers need that! P.S. there are these wonderful inventions called taxis that I tend to utilise quite frequently.

I don't drive for medical reasons but I get a lot of stick for not doing so. It seems to be a topic of conversation in my family even though I organise myself 99.9% of the time.

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