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To tell MIL off? I think I was and now feel a bit bad. sorry long.

(198 Posts)
AutumnGlory Wed 26-Dec-12 11:38:36

We were having a family out, trip to the theatre before Christmas. It was a long play of 2 hours with a 20 minutes break in the middle. Just before we go inside to find our seats I took dd (5) to the toilets and said to her she could have the left over of her juice during the interval so she can also go to the toilet again and she is not to have any drinks after she has been to the toilet and before we seat for the second part (Mil heard everything) So during the break MIL takes her to the toilet and just before the play starts again they come back with a large glass of slush. I (regretfully) say nothing and let dd drink it. When the play is coming to an end, just moments before the crucial best part, dd needs the toilet and MIL takes her but comes back when the curtains are down and dd just gets to see the whole cast there getting the applauses but not the End. When we go out I than tell dd that I'm going to the toilet and that is the right time to go, not during the play, MIL than interferes saying that it is what children do, and I say back: 'only when adults give them drinks when they are not supposed to'. Now I know I maybe over reacted and I wasn't gonna say anything to her if she didn't interfere in my conversation with dd, but we paid a lot of money for the tickets and we were looking forward to go, I didn't want dd to miss any single bit. I'm used to take her to theatre and ballet and we don't consume liquids just for the sake of it nor eat food that will make us thirsty when I know we are there to enjoy the show and will miss out if spending time going to toilets if it is not a break. But maybe I was too harsh?

AutumnGlory Wed 26-Dec-12 11:43:52

I know that MIL just wanted to make dd happy but c'mon have some common sense. Could she not buy the slush afterwards? Also I said no ice cream as dd had a bad cough, running nose and sore throat, so she thinks an ice cream isn't ok but a slush is?? Sometime I think she does these things for the sake of annoying me but I suspect it is just plain stupidity.

Convict224 Wed 26-Dec-12 11:45:06

Well, I think you are a bit unreasonable because I don't believe that the time lapse between drinking and weeing is so short. (Of course I could be wrong, I am not an expert in urologistics). I think the water you urinate now you consumed quite a bit earlier. So the wee your daughter did at the show's end was probably the drink you gave her before the show.

everlong Wed 26-Dec-12 11:51:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'd have to agree with your mil, it is just something kids do I'm afraid.

Drinking and weeing doesn't seem to happen in that short space for my ds either, and I wouldn't make him intentionally thirsty to fit in around convenient comfort breaks - but I would try and encourage him to sip carefully and not gulp a drink down quickly.

Many a time dh and I have had to do the excuse me, excuse me through an audience at a circus, theatre, cinema etc and miss a good bit, it's just the way it happens. We just make sure we ask before,after and during breaks that dc at least try to go to the toilet, but sometimes they need to go.

Perhaps she was trying to do something nice with the slushy if your dd had a sore throat? They do say steer clear of dairy when you have mucus cough/cold so a slushy might have been a good choice.

FestiveElement Wed 26-Dec-12 11:53:47

YANBU to be annoyed that your MIL undermined you and gave your child something you had said no to, and YANBU to be disappointed that your dd missed some of the show.

YABU to think a child with a cough and a sore throat shouldn't have ice cream. The only time I eat ice cream is when I have a sore throat!

seeker Wed 26-Dec-12 11:55:08

Unreasonable to "tell off" another adult in any circumstances.

Ridiculous in this context.

AutumnGlory Wed 26-Dec-12 11:55:15

The first part of the show is 1 hour. So the drink she had before the show she weed during the break. Than she had a very little drink of left over juice during the break just because MIL also bought her pop corn fore the 1st part of the show so she wads thirsty. She had this left over drink before go to toilet during the break and before coming back with the slush. As I said I'm used to take her to watch performances and I knew she would be able to wait till the end if she didn't have the slush.

HeathRobinson Wed 26-Dec-12 11:56:19

'the time lapse between drinking and weeing is so short'

^^ it was for my kids at that age.

AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers Wed 26-Dec-12 11:56:45

Sounds to me like the poor woman can't do right for doing wrong. You sound somewhat unreasonable to me - like you're determined to find fault no matter what.

BerryChristmas Wed 26-Dec-12 11:57:47

And I also think your daughter is old enough to say 'no' when she knows the rules.

everlong Wed 26-Dec-12 11:59:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Megatron Wed 26-Dec-12 12:02:45

I think this is all a bit ridiculous tbh. And a bit controlling.

lightrain Wed 26-Dec-12 12:04:20

Yabu. It is just what kids do and you sound like hard work if you are always like that when out and about. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh.

I also don't understand the no ice cream thing. So what if your DD had a sore throat? Ice cream affects that how?

KeepYerTitsIn Wed 26-Dec-12 12:04:36

YABU, and you sound like a control freak to me I'm afraid - just let children drink when they need to drink.

dequoisagitil Wed 26-Dec-12 12:05:06

I think it's ridiculous to expect a 5 yr old to stick to rules when Granny offers her a slushie hmm.

But anyway, I don't think it's worth getting upset over, OP. I think fair enough to being annoyed at being undermined by MIL. But at the same time MIL probably thought you were being a bit harsh and wanted to treat your dd on a night out.

If you spoke rudely, apologise and move on. If you spoke politely, say nothing & move on.

MerryLindor Wed 26-Dec-12 12:09:40

Does MIL often override your wishes?

If it was a one off then YABU. If it is something that she always does then perhaps it needed to be said.

If DS drinks a lot, he needs to wee a lot. DD doesn't. I don't think there is a general rule.

YABU about the ice cream though. I don't understand that.

Netguru Wed 26-Dec-12 12:11:39

I think YABU about drinks and ice cream

If your MIL really did hear you say no more drinks to your daughter then YANBU. No adult should seek to undermine a parent like that.

dequoisagitil Wed 26-Dec-12 12:12:52

I missed the bit about the ice-cream. An ice-cream can be quite soothing for a sore throat and certainly wouldn't do your dd any harm - it seems a bit OTT to stop her having one cos of a cold - like punishing her for being ill.

TheoxenandDonkeyskneltdown Wed 26-Dec-12 12:14:19

Family day out? more like Do as I Say or Suffer Consequences. I'd drop it now you made your point, I'm sure any pleasure was eclipsed by your rant. A sore throat would be soothed by a slushie, no dairy to make DD more bunged up.

Pantomimedam Wed 26-Dec-12 12:18:33

You clearly feel bad about it, so call your MIL and say sorry you were ratty, and leave it at that.

OhDearNigel Wed 26-Dec-12 12:20:53

I suspect your MIL has probably bitten her tongue with you so many times it's perforated.

Expecting a 5 year old to sit quietly through a 2 hour theatre performance with only 20 minutes relief sounds highly unrealistic to me. And then moaning because the 5 year old wanted a wee/leg stretch/change of scenery is VU.

And why on earth can't a 5 year old with a cold have an ice cream ? sorry OP but a "family trip" out with you sounds a very joyless and regimented affair. Your MIL was probably thinking "what planet is she on"

everlong Wed 26-Dec-12 12:23:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

everlong Wed 26-Dec-12 12:24:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AutumnGlory Wed 26-Dec-12 12:24:48

MIL did really hear about my rule and she does undermines me like when dd was 3 and I said no coca cola than I turned my back and she than his herself with dd to give her cocacola behind my back. Anyway I was brought up (I'm not british) to believe that if you have a cold/sore throat/running nose than you are no suppose to have very cold drinks and ice cream but I can accept that it may be an old beliefs from my culture and I can change.

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