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AIB ungrateful?

(176 Posts)
Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 19:49:52

I would never have thought I would be posting this, I am easy to please!

Me and DP have been together for 3 years, we have had a really crap year together. We relocated for his new (well paid) job and I have struggled to find one. I got a christmas job in retail and worked my butt off to be able to afford presents for him. He wasn't short of expensive suggestions for himself and I got him some really lovely presents. I spent about £100 overall from my wages- which has been a lot for me. I havn't bought anything for myself for a good 6 months- even crippled myself in heels for work as I couldn't afford flat shoes.

He is working today so I am at my parents. I have opened his presents:
-2 bottles of mulled cider
-a box of tea
-a single electric blanket

I am 23 not 83. We live in a mild area of the country, I just dont NEED one. I also know his mother paid for it as he said "he couldnt afford all of it by himself" (that got my hopes up it was a nice treat for me!!

He wrapped it up click and collect packaging and all. Hadnt even bothered to open it to make sure it was the right thing. Price was left on, £39.95. A couple of months ago he thought nothing of buying a £300 leather jacket for himself.

AIBU to just have wanted something pretty and nice for myself?

flaggybannel Tue 25-Dec-12 20:47:39

This has reminded me of a few years ago when i was still in love with my exp. 6 years together, he earned at least double what i did yet ate my food and stayed at my place year round even though i am a struggling sp on part-time minimum wage, there were lots of red flags i chose to ignore but i think i started to wise up when one christmas day he presented me with-
a bag of jelly fizzy fish.
Admittedly, they are were my favorite sweets but i think him making a song and dance about disappearing to fish out a piece of my ds discarded wrapping paper out of the bin to put them in really started to open my eyes.
His family didnt bother asking me later that day what he had give me for christmas, which was odd, as they usually would and i was looking forward to showing him up around thier festive dinner table- turns out they knew he was playing away and this was apparently his way of letting me know he felt nothing for me anymore. Silly me. Didnt mind rubbing in my face all the lovely things he had treated them to though. Wanker. And wanker family too.

Idohaveoneofthese Tue 25-Dec-12 20:56:32

Did he reply to yr text?

Leverette Tue 25-Dec-12 21:01:22

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FredFredGeorge Tue 25-Dec-12 21:15:04

Do you know if he really couldn't afford it or not?

Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 21:25:09

No response yet!

Fred- If he couldn't afford it, it's because he is bad with his money not because he doesn't have it.

I can't even lool at the sodding thing. He usually keeps me warm at night, what is he suggesting?

TheMonster Tue 25-Dec-12 21:30:21

Crap selection of gifts.

Leave him!

He's selfish and clearly doesn't think much of you. You can do so much better!

FredFredGeorge Tue 25-Dec-12 21:37:25

A single electric blanket is extremely crap and weird present for a couple who live together - you're young though, shouldn't be hard to find someone better if he has no other redeeming features...

PomBearWithAnOFRS Tue 25-Dec-12 21:42:52

Go and find yourself a nice young man (I sound like my mother now grin ) who will appreciate you and buy you sexy undies from primark but who cares and be all over you and treat you well. Leave ThrowBoy to his mummy to sort out!
Move back where you were before, or anywhere else you please, and find a job and never look back other than to laugh at this man-boy and be pleased you got out while the going was good and take the throw and the electric blanket with you!

SavoyCabbage Tue 25-Dec-12 21:45:34

You should go 'home' op before you end up stuck with this fool forever.

Even if you don't want to break up with him (which you should if you want to be treated nicely) go home and live your life.

ImperialBlether Tue 25-Dec-12 21:46:20

His mum will think he's a twat, too, you know. I'd be ashamed of my son if he couldn't buy his girlfriend a decent present when he was spending money on himself.

butterfingerz Tue 25-Dec-12 21:52:36

It is in no way appropriate for a girl of your age to be receiving an electric blanket, what was he thinking? Be as ungrateful as you like, go wild!

Please, have you still got the receipt for the throw? Retrieve it, return it and buy yourself something nice. And trade your pathetic excuse for bf in for a newer improved model.

Jux Tue 25-Dec-12 22:15:42

When he returns, take the expensive blanket and return to shop for refund. At the same time, give all tthe shit he gave you to him to return for a refund. Then you each spend on yourselves. Maybe next time he'll think it worth spending more.

SavoyCabbage Tue 25-Dec-12 22:17:47

Good idea Jax.

OHforDUCKSchristmasCake Tue 25-Dec-12 22:20:43

Any reply?

Speedos Tue 25-Dec-12 22:24:10

FFS some men are pricks! Sorry he does not sound like a keeper, lucky you are only 23, you have years to find someone better, think I was still clubbing and travelling the world that age.

Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 22:31:16

Well as he gave it to me still in the click and collect packaging, I have the delivery receipt. My mum lives in a town with a John Lewis so I will be getting gift receipts in exchange and buying myself a handbag.

Have heard from him. According to him it took a long time to sort out- because click and collect where your mother puts in all the details is so taxing!

missrlr Tue 25-Dec-12 22:32:36

It's crap

Go home to a friends house, in fact anywhere but with him tonight and say goodbye with all your stuff, presents you bought for him included tomorrow pronto. Return to shop, use the money for something more interesting and productive like a deposit on a new house

Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 22:38:17

I'm at my mums 5 hours drive away missrlr, luckily!

StuntGirl Tue 25-Dec-12 22:41:39

Anyone who hands out expensive Christmas lists gets on my goat, especially when the person they're giving the list to is financially worse off.

cees Tue 25-Dec-12 22:42:25


Your boyfriend is a dick, what a thoughtless load of shit he bought you. A box of tea seriously what the feck was he thinking.

MyLittleAprilSunshine Tue 25-Dec-12 22:43:30

What a selfish SOAB.

I am 22 and would be sad if my partner put such little effort and care into my gifts. He might get me an electric blanket if I asked for one and he might even get me tea as a smaller, quirkier present but he's much more likely to buy me perfume, a new music player or something similar.

I wouldn't put up with it. If you had kids, he'd be thinking of himself no doubt. If you got married, it would be all about him. It's a sign of how much your happiness means to him.

If he was that broke he could've done something very customised and made it from the heart and at very least picked, ordered and collected it himself. Wouldn't surprise me if his Mum selected the presents for him.

Fairylea Tue 25-Dec-12 22:45:11

For me if I was relocating with someone and they had a well paid job and we were partners then I would expect a joint account or at the very least for money to be equal - so the same amount of spending money regardless of who earns more.

But maybe that's just me.

The rest would be all downhill from there!

LemonBreeland Tue 25-Dec-12 22:48:51

That is seriously shit present giving. I would be devestated to get that at your age.

It really is the most bizarre gift for any partner anyway. I'd be telling him you are getting your own single bed to put it on.

VisualiseAHorse Tue 25-Dec-12 22:58:30

Take the blanket back (ahve you got the reseipt?), and buy yourself some lovely shoes.

Oh, and leave the bastard.

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