Advanced search

AIB ungrateful?

(176 Posts)
Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 19:49:52

I would never have thought I would be posting this, I am easy to please!

Me and DP have been together for 3 years, we have had a really crap year together. We relocated for his new (well paid) job and I have struggled to find one. I got a christmas job in retail and worked my butt off to be able to afford presents for him. He wasn't short of expensive suggestions for himself and I got him some really lovely presents. I spent about £100 overall from my wages- which has been a lot for me. I havn't bought anything for myself for a good 6 months- even crippled myself in heels for work as I couldn't afford flat shoes.

He is working today so I am at my parents. I have opened his presents:
-2 bottles of mulled cider
-a box of tea
-a single electric blanket

I am 23 not 83. We live in a mild area of the country, I just dont NEED one. I also know his mother paid for it as he said "he couldnt afford all of it by himself" (that got my hopes up it was a nice treat for me!!

He wrapped it up click and collect packaging and all. Hadnt even bothered to open it to make sure it was the right thing. Price was left on, £39.95. A couple of months ago he thought nothing of buying a £300 leather jacket for himself.

AIBU to just have wanted something pretty and nice for myself?

BillyBollyBrandy Tue 25-Dec-12 19:53:53

In light of his "expensive" suggestions that is shit. What did you get him?

Tell him you want to return the single electric blanket, couldn't he have splashed out on a double!

ImperialBlether Tue 25-Dec-12 19:54:44

My daughter is 23 and I'd be having a quiet word with her, not only about the crap presents but about relocating when there's no chance of a good job for yourself and then again about being in a relationship where the man has money and the woman doesn't have a pair of shoes.

You do realise the world is full of lovely, lovely men, don't you? I have a son who's 20 and he would NEVER treat a girl like that. (He's single too, so let me know if you're interested!!)

whois Tue 25-Dec-12 19:54:45

Did you give him any suggestions?

SayMama Tue 25-Dec-12 19:59:24

not only about the crap presents but about relocating when there's no chance of a good job for yourself and then again about being in a relationship where the man has money and the woman doesn't have a pair of shoes.

^^ This

notnowImreading Tue 25-Dec-12 20:01:04

That really does sound rubbish. However, electric blankets are marvellous and you will come to love it.

Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 20:02:24

Billy-He became obsessed with an expensive wool throw. To the point that he got stroppy when I pretended I hadn't got it (as you do at christmas), he threatened to go down there and buy it for himself. I thought it was hideous and a waste of money, but I coughed up more for it that his presents to me all together. He also guilt tripped me into doing him a stocking, which I filled with lovely thoughtful things.

It just says something to me that he couldn't think of anything to get his young girlfriend, surely I'm supposed to be getting sexy underwear or something!! Primark would've been fine.

MagicHouse Tue 25-Dec-12 20:03:47

Rubbish presents - very thoughtless. Red flags here (with the spending on himself) I would think hard about whether you want to stay with a man like this.

ImperialBlether Tue 25-Dec-12 20:11:36

Now you can add poor taste to the other red flags that are hurtling around! Think of the hideous throw - can you imagine buying a house together and choosing furnishings?

BillyBollyBrandy Tue 25-Dec-12 20:13:36

I agree with magic

Doesn't sound good to me

OHforDUCKSchristmasCake Tue 25-Dec-12 20:15:22

He sounds like a selfish, spoilt brat.

What will you do?

Splatt34 Tue 25-Dec-12 20:16:29

If he's working today is there a chance there may be more gifts which he wants to be there when you open?

Earlybird Tue 25-Dec-12 20:17:01

Oh no, no, no.

Agree with others. Big Red flags. Pay attention to them. Do not ignore or justify.

Do not waste more time or energy. Move on. Immediately.

Onezerozero Tue 25-Dec-12 20:17:26

Hmm, could he have kept some presents back to give you in person?

Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 20:20:49

Ducks- I've sent him a message thanking him but saying "I can't believe you couldn't think of anything more exciting for a young girlfriend than an electric blanket. I'm 23 not 83".

God, I know I sound so horrible right now. In previous years he has got me beautiful (not expensive) jewellery and lovely clothes. This just adds to the feeling I've had for a while that he just doesn't give a crap about me...

I have felt so rough for the past couple of days, I've slept most of today. I'm already feeling sorry for myself and this has made it worse.

Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 20:21:35

Definitely nothing at home!

Pozzled Tue 25-Dec-12 20:22:05

You say he is working- any chance that your 'real' present is something that you can open together later, not something to open with your parents?

If not, then I would be pretty annoyed, some people aren't great at buying presents but he is showing real double standards if he wants his expensive gifts from you.

ImperialBlether Tue 25-Dec-12 20:26:04

I'm sorry, but some people here resemble Pollyanna! Of course there isn't anything else for the OP! He's given her his (crap) presents; it's obvious there's nothing else.

OP, 2013 is a new year. Why not make it the year you get away from this man?

TheoxenandDonkeyskneltdown Tue 25-Dec-12 20:28:03

As you put effort into selecting lovely thoughtful gifts for a stocking for him, any of those you can subtly reclaim as time goes on? He can keep yucky throw all to himself. It does sound one-sided. The trouble is some people are good at getting what they like in life and making you feel honoured and special for giving.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 25-Dec-12 20:32:07

Dump him. Before the New Year.

catgirl1976geesealaying Tue 25-Dec-12 20:32:47


I am really laid back and easy to please but WTAF?

Sorry but I'm just shock at the lack of thought and him getting you a joint present (shite) from his DM

He should be keeping you warm at night, not a sodding electric blanket

My very first LTB

hugoagogo Tue 25-Dec-12 20:35:04

How old is dp?

Hydrophilic Tue 25-Dec-12 20:39:06

Hugo- 10 years older, but I'm mature and he seems younger.

His mother even ordered it to our local Waitrose for him to pick up. She had to nag him to get that as he forgot. So his grand sum of effort for me for christmas was buying a box of tea and bottles of cider. I feel so loved.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 25-Dec-12 20:45:33


No you are not being unreasonable. You are not being ungrateful either.

He is a thoughtless,selfish,self centred, dickhead mummy's boy.

I would be crushed if my DP did that. though he came close the year he bought me a clothes rail as a birthday present amongst other more normal presents

hugoagogo Tue 25-Dec-12 20:47:02

Not surprised-Older man who acts younger, it's a bit of a cliche.

Sorry to say, you need to start taking care of yourself find a job that you like, where you like to live and get on with your life with or without him, but on your own terms.

Try and enjoy the rest of christmas.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: