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to think my DM might be jealous?

(11 Posts)
JessieMcJessie Tue 25-Dec-12 17:19:42

DM is staying with me and Boyfriend (BF) of 2 years whom she has only met once before (we live outside the UK so few opportunities to get them together).

Christmas morning, I give BF an expensive wallet- she knows exactly how much it was because I bought it online and got her to bring it over. He gives me a cookbook and a board game, both wrapped by the shops that sold them. Both things I really like, but not exactly romantic. He would have had no idea how much I was spending on him as I did push the boat out compared to last year, and I think he is a little sheepish. However DM has already told me how she is deeply unimpressed at his lack of imagination and will no doubt go home and tell all her friends he doesn't treat me well enough. This is hot on the heels of him "not being a gentleman" for taking the first cab in the queue last night while we waited another 15 seconds for the next one- I told him to take it!. My last BF never redeemed himself in her eyes for not carrying my bag into her house from the car, even though I probably picked it up myself before he had the chance to offer.

She has spent the whole trip making various snide comments (to both of us) about my SIL not being good enough for my DB, for a whole host of utterly inconsequential reasons, such as "she won't join in at board games".

Now, BF is absolutely lovely to her, has spent hours listening attentively to her repeating the same stories 10 times and has been planning all sorts of lovely activities for the three of us. He is a crap present buyer but I could not care less, as he is funny, kind, loyal and as attentive as I need him to be (chivalry makes me a bit embarrassed TBH).

Mum has sadly been widowed twice. AIBU to think that she has difficulty being happy for anyone else who has a partner and compulsively picks fault to make herself feel better? I wish she'd just keep her opinions to herself.

NervousReindeer Tue 25-Dec-12 17:27:38

Maybe she jus thinks that no one will be ever be good enough for her DCs?

sarahseashell Tue 25-Dec-12 17:39:10

maybe just aske her to keep her opinions to herself?

but I'm with her on the taxi thing though

sarahseashell Tue 25-Dec-12 17:39:20

*ask!

crashdoll Tue 25-Dec-12 17:52:43

The taxi thing was mean and she sounds protective to me, rather than jealous.

lisad123 Tue 25-Dec-12 18:05:46

Jealous, I wouldn't think so, and its more likely she doesn't think his good enough for you.
My parents still make comments about my dh of 11 years and his very lovely. My mil hates me, it happens to most of us.

whois Tue 25-Dec-12 18:09:23

Protective not jealous and why did you make your mum wait an extra 15 mins for a taxi and your BF take the first one?

Anyway, next time she makes a 'not good enough' comment give him and big hug and kiss on the cheek, turn with a big smile to your mum and say "well I really like this one so you keep quiet mum"

JessieMcJessie Tue 25-Dec-12 18:28:09

15 SECONDS! It was right behind the one he took and his journey home is longer.

RafflesWay Tue 25-Dec-12 18:31:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HollyMadison Wed 26-Dec-12 13:34:54

He sounds like a good present buyer to me, given that you liked both the presents he bought you. In my experience, sometimes parents are not 100% supportive of BF/GFs where deep down there's a fear they will "take them away" from parent. You mentioned being abroad. Is BF same nationality as you? DM may be scared you will stay abroad and not come home if you meet someone.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 26-Dec-12 13:45:04

No I wouldn't say she is jealous.

Protective world be more accurate. Perhaps even over protective. Is she a "baptism of fire" type? My Gran gave my step dad a hard time initially to "see if he was good enough". She decided he was. I sometimes think he misses the days when she didn't speak to him though grin

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