To be feeling like this at Christmas

[Rebecca1990]

Apologies in advance for any spelling errors I'm exhausted.
Myself and dp have 2dc together dd(1) and ds(2) ,
And I just don't know what to do anymore.
I am a sahm and my dp works shifts. Recently things have got to the point where I just don't know how to move forward. There have been several issues. First of all I have had terrible health issues since having dd and been in and out of hospital a lot. As most of you will know two kids this young is hard work so we have been under a lot of strain but recently there seems to be fewer and fewer times were we are actually getting on well. We constantly argue, mostly due to little things and issues with his family making it clear they dislike me ( various reasons including the fact we didn't want to christen our son or daughter)

I have been finding myself slipping further into depression which is already being treated but I just can't continue livig like this any longer , its such a cycle of ageing then dp making a joke of everything and we start all over. Please someone, anyone tell me how to move forward.

I know this is a bit o a jumbled mess and if i could put t more concisely I would but I just don't know how and it took all my strength to write this .

TIA for any replies

[Chottie]

Not feeling 100% over a long time, whilst looking after two young children is extremely draining.

Please do go to your doctor and ask to have a full health check, make sure both your mental and physical health is being corrected treated and managed. Do you have friends or family who would occasionally look after DC for a couple of hours?

Are you sleeping ok? Can you sit down and have a long chat with DP and agree on some things together? Do you make time to have any fun together as a family? I'm truly sorry to hear you are feeling so down at the moment.

[peaceandlovebunny]

hang on, keep going, all that stuff. it will get better. do as advised, see gp and ask for health check and counselling. don't look for major leaps forward, take it a minute or two at a time.
good luck.

[OhlimpPricks]

It probably seems like the hardest thing in the world to admit you're feeling like this to your GP. I have been there. Please be brave, walk into the surgery and say
'I don't feel too good, things are getting on top of me"
Let him/ her ask you questions and advise you.
There is help available, and it doesn't have to be like this.
Please take this one step over to help, that will make you feel better.

[Rebecca1990]

Thank you do much for the replies sorry it took me so long to reply got so caught up with dInner etc.
I'm currently being treated for a disorder I've been left with that's causing constant pain so I'm taking a cocktail of antid''s and painkillers so the drs are doing as much as they can.
I've tried to talk to dp because I know he worries about me alot but he doesn't seem to show me any love or attention on a day to say basis, which I know makes me sound so needy .
I just need to know that I'm not alone in feeling unable to cope with daily tasks like playing with my own two gorgeous dc's. I just feel like a massive failure
Thanks for reading my ramblings

[jessjessjess]

You don't sound needy - you aren't asking anything unreasonable. Have you told DH how you feel?

[Chottie]

You don't sound needy to me either. You sound like a caring mum who is doing her best despite a lot of other stuff. Please speak to your Dr and your DH x.x.x.

[OhlimpPricks]

You have not failed. You have failed to ask for help. I'm sure if your DC were poorly you would go to the ends of the earth to make them better.
You're poorly and you deserve love and attention and care as much as anyone in your family.
Christmas hugs. You are not alone xx

[Rebecca1990]

I have asked for help to the point of bei in tears in front of very understanding gp but all she will do is up my antid''s which I've done yet it doesn't seem to help.
I have spoken to dp but he just doesnt really understand at all, which I can appreciate because until I had suffered depression
Myself I found it quite a difficult illness to understand .
Thank you all So much for taking a few minutes out of why is supposed to be such a special day to reply.
Sometimes I just wish I had a magic wand to just fix everything but even of I did I just can't seem to put my finger on what it is that is the problem.
It feels like some days I regret having my children but I know that's not the case whatsoever because I love them with all my heart and I would t ever change that it's just life has became so so difficult for me since I had my first dc I've never really got a chance to take it all in and take a breath iyswim ?

[OhlimpPricks]

Ask your GP if they can refer you for some counselling, or does your local authority have a central hub for counsellor sand therapists?