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how do you wear stockings? I mean seriously, I can't get them on!

(40 Posts)
washingonawednesday Sat 22-Dec-12 15:27:36

Christmas 'present' for DP. Stockings and suspenders purchased. How the he'll do you wear them?

Anyone tried clipping a suspender onto a stocking at the back, from behind so they match up with the line?

And then when I finally managed it, I'd put them on over my knickers so I couldn't go to the bloody loo!

Is there a female instruction manual I wasn't issued at birth or something?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 22-Dec-12 15:35:48

I wear them. First of all - put the suspender belt on and relax! Then take the stockings out of the packet and put them on very gently and smoothly - clip the front on, then stretch the back one so that you can clip it somewhere in the middle.

I never buy stockings with a seam so I don't have a 'line' to worry about - and I also have a suspender belt with six clips rather than the usual four so nothing moves.

Oh... and don't forget your knickers.. but if you do, don't worry about it.

Amothersruin Sat 22-Dec-12 15:50:45

I buy hold-ups although you only get about 2 wears out of them before they give up the ghost!

As long as the front clips are straight then I am not that bothered-in fact on a night out last week I somehow managed to lose both back clips and had to ask another girl to help me fix the other ones as I was a bit em...merryblush

mysterymeg Sat 22-Dec-12 15:52:35

I used to wear the belt slightly higher than the knickers. Could then still slip knickers down. Obviously can't pull them down to your ankles but can move them down to the clips which is all you need for weeing!

ChristmasPickles Sat 22-Dec-12 15:56:05

Errr don't you put your knickers over them so you can get them down to wee?

I also struggle to do the back ones up OP, interested to find out how you do it without wishing you'd never bloody bothered as it's all such a faff!!

Deux Sat 22-Dec-12 16:02:46

Don't you put the knickers on after the suspenders? <have I been doing it all wrong?> Otherwise unclip suspender belt then pul knickers down to have a wee.

You can attach rear suspenders to stockings before you put stockings on.

Agree instruction manual would be useful.

ChristmasPickles Sat 22-Dec-12 16:03:48

Ahhhh attach the rear one before putting them on <slaps head> OF COURSE!

SantasNaughtySack Sat 22-Dec-12 16:05:24

Attach stockings to suspender belt- then put the whole she-bang in like a pair of tights. Trouble free smile

ihearsounds Sat 22-Dec-12 16:10:58

The seams, carefully starting at the leg bit gather the stocking up until you get to the foot iyswim. As long as you are careful and go slow the seam should be still straight. Slip the foot bit on, and slowly pull up.
The back on, I pop the suspenders on, then pop on knickers. Knickers help to hold the straps in place. Then stand up holding the back strap, bend leg, resting foot on bed and clip.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Sat 22-Dec-12 16:11:09

Knickers on over suspenders of course <rolls eyes at lack of knowledge on MN>.

SomeTiggyPudding Sat 22-Dec-12 18:33:14

Knickers over the top. It means you can keep your stockings and suspenders on when you're powdering your nose and when you're shagging.

LRDtheFeministDude Sat 22-Dec-12 18:35:35

Attach the back clips of the suspenders to the stockings in line with the seam before you put them on. Pull stockings on and look in the mirror to check they're straight. Fasten suspenders.

I put knickers underneath because it looks and feels nicer but the whole point of suspenders if you can take them down when you go to the loo more easily that tights!

BeyondStuffedWithXmassyGoodies Sat 22-Dec-12 18:40:21

Knickers over the top!
I always wear stockings rather than tights for going "out", as it is inevitable that I will rip tights on one of the many trips to the loo grin

Although it was draughtier than it would have been with tights the one time I somehow managed to rip my knickers... blush

bulletwithbutterflywings Sat 22-Dec-12 18:57:43

I always clip the suspenders onto the stockings before I put them on, and then put them on like tights. Then knickers over the top for reasons stated by pps. smile

RobinSucksInTheSnow Sat 22-Dec-12 20:12:17

Knickers? With stockings and suspenders? Why?!?!?!?

Clip suspenders onto stockings, lay them out strait, pull on like tights. Knickers go on first! Get a stretchy suspender belt, not a rigid one- pull the whole thing down to go loo, like you would tights. (Trust me, I frequent certain.... clubs!)

EuphemiaInExcelsis Sat 22-Dec-12 20:15:28

Fucking stupid idea - I bet a man invented them. Why do we make life even harder for ourselves?!

SomeTiggyPudding Sat 22-Dec-12 20:16:01

Knickers over the top are much better when frequenting certain....clubs.

HermioneE Sat 22-Dec-12 20:20:27

Euphemia- they're amazing!! I hate tights, never ever been comfortable in a pair. Holdups or s&s are the way to go.

RobinSucksInTheSnow Sat 22-Dec-12 23:45:19

(No knickers at all is better in certain of the certain clubs!)

VBisme Sat 22-Dec-12 23:53:49

Definitely knickers on over the top, I've always clipped the belt in first then attached the stockings.

lostinindia Sat 22-Dec-12 23:54:07

What is the point of them? Apart from the kinky bit.

bedmonster Sun 23-Dec-12 00:17:37

And what IS the kinky bit about them? Never managed to work out what dp enjoys so much?

AudrinaWhiteChristmasAdare Sun 23-Dec-12 00:34:03

The number of times long ago and never again I've wrenched a muscle in my neck or shoulder trying to clip the fucking things on at the back and NOW you tell me that you can pre-load them? shock

DH tells me that stockings er, frame things and add shape. God, I really shouldn't be asking him such questions when I am about to go to bed with a heavy cold / period sad

sashh Sun 23-Dec-12 09:11:53

Wear them under your pants.

Put suspenders on, then pants and pull the little suspender elastic thing through so under pants.

Stand up, put the stocking fold the stocking down, lift one leg and pull the stocking over your foot, put your foot up on the bed and pull up as high as possible.

Connect the front and then put your foot down and do the back.

pollypanties Sun 23-Feb-14 18:15:49

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