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Massive Mil Birthday row.

(60 Posts)
sassy34264 Sat 22-Dec-12 15:23:07

Dp has organised a meal for mil's birthday on Monday. I wasn't invited and neither are his 3 pre-schoolers as we will 'add £50 to the bill and it will be a faff to get out of the house'

Other reasons he has given are: he wanted to just spend some time with just his dm, dbro and dsis. And he just wants it to be a get in and out type meal (rather than a lengthy all day affair, implying it will be, if we go.)

However his dsis is bringing her pre-schooler as she has no-one to look after him (unlike my dp who has muggins here to look after his!)

Today I find out that his dm invited her BF along, but now she can't go,so dp has rung up dbro and said 'you might as well bring your girlfriend as the table is booked for 5 people'

Anyone need a Cinderella for their panto- i'm right here!

I'm beyond fuming. We have been arguing/not speaking for over 24 hrs. AIBU?

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Sat 22-Dec-12 18:38:43

Sorry X-post with artex

hanette Sat 22-Dec-12 18:40:43

Agree with Artex - you've been thrown a gift! Avoiding family bash in adult restaurant with small kids, having the moral highground and instantly justified to go out and treat yourself. What's not to like? :-)

LemonBreeland Sat 22-Dec-12 18:47:11

I think it is perfectly reasonable that he wanted a lunch with his Mum and siblings. However he should have spoken to you before he booked it and explained what he wanted to do and why.

I also agree that once his sisters toddler was coming he should have changed plans. It sounds like he can't be bothered with the effort of having his dc around.

Idocrazythings Sat 22-Dec-12 18:51:32

I wouldn't have a problem to be honest if it was just the siblings taking mum out for an adult dinner for her birthday- I think it's quite nice actually.

The fact Dsis couldn't get a babysitter would change the night though- but what can you do (unless you watched her for them grin); but I would have got annoyed with the boyfriend coming along (unless they had been together a very long time and was a father figure to the siblings)

sassy34264 Sat 22-Dec-12 19:02:45

artex I can be quite sarky. grin

I have had to fight to get him to not just see them as my responsibility! But that would be a whole new thread.

Yes 4 kids, 3 under 2 and a half and one pre-teen from a previous relationship.

I am definately going out. The restaurant faces my street shock and i will feel really uncomfortable if they decide to come afterward for a quick visit- like the poor relation.

Then when i get back, i will be taking my dd1 out to the pics. He has said that after the meal he will come back to be with us, as this is tradition that we spend xmas eve in, drinking, watching only fools and horses and i wrap the presents, but i intend to go out. Or am i just biting my nose off to spite my face? I could go anytime.

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas Sat 22-Dec-12 19:15:16

I'm laughing at the thought of a mother of 3 very small children ever being the centre of attention, AndrewD.

oldraver Sat 22-Dec-12 19:19:41

I think I would drop the three younger ones with him at the restaurant and take older DD to the cinema

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Sat 22-Dec-12 19:20:32

Yeah, don't do that sass you don't want to spoil the whole of Christmas over one poxy meal. Go out when you want, but don't make yourself miserable to prove a point

TheCatIsEatingIt Sun 23-Dec-12 11:04:38

I get it. DH sometimes sees his DParents and DB without partners - I'm fine with that, but would be put out if SIL was invited and I wasn't.

DontmindifIdo Sun 23-Dec-12 11:52:38

Don't go out with the DCS, walk out half an hour before he has to leave without them - leave the nappy bags made up and any milk the DCs need available, but then go out as he said he wasn't going now. [evil]

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