Talk

Advanced search

to be fucking raging at the ex-husband

(38 Posts)
kinkyfuckery Thu 20-Dec-12 19:57:43

Ex-h lives about 1.5 miles away. Has done for about 8 months now.

He had the kids overnight last night and took them to school/nursery this morning, picks them up from school/nursery and brings them home to me at 7pm for bed.

Just to set the scene, we currently have severe weather warnings and localised flooding, being told not to go out if not necessary.

So, despite having a bus stop almost on his doorstep, he made the kids WALK to school this morning - DC1 had to sit in her wet clothes, but DC2 was given a change of clothes to wear from nursery. He then walked DC2 back to his after nursery, then back to the school to pick up DC1 at school home time. After dinner, he WALKED them back home to me. It has pissed down with rain all last night, and all day today and is still going strong. They have spent the best part of the day soaked through.

I asked why he didn't get a bus and his answer was "Because I don't know when the fucking buses are, do I?" I honestly wanted to fucking swing for him.

Surely he should have gotten a bus (He should actually know the rough timetable by now, considering he often gets the bus from home. Or he could have looked it up either online or on his phone, or even bloody phoned me and asked me to check!) or god forbid, put his hand in his pocket and forked out a fiver for a fucking taxi!!!

Just so I'm not drip-feeding, both DC currently have upper respiratory tract infections. (I know being cold and wet doesn't make you ill, but a 1.5 mile walk when ill is not appealing at the best of times, never mind during one of the worst periods of weather we've had all year!)

peaceandlovebunny Thu 20-Dec-12 19:59:45

yes, i'd be with you in that. if he can't look after them properly he shouldn't be doing it at all.

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Dec-12 20:02:22

Blimey. confused Er....I think it might have been worthy of a hmm but nothing more than that. I hardly think it constitutes abuse, or stupidity on any grand scale. In fact I think most people would be delighted that he was teaching the DC's that it is perfectly possibly to walk reasonable distances.

I think you just hate him, and want something to moan about.

kinkyfuckery Thu 20-Dec-12 20:05:06

it is perfectly possibly to walk reasonable distances.

You think making two ill children walk miles in severe weather conditions is a way of delightfully teaching them something positive? Ok.

allthegoodnamesweretaken Thu 20-Dec-12 20:05:56

I wouldn't have an issue with them walking in this weather if they were dressed for it, but it doesn't sound like they were so yanbu

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Dec-12 20:09:19

Well if they were that ill they should not have been going to school at all, but a bit of rain won't hurt them, providing they were dressed appropriately. It may have been a bit of an odd choice I'll admit, but I hardly think it is a bad as you are making out, no. But each to their own, and all that.

Can't agree with you. If they're ill they should be at home in bed, if not its not far to walk in the rain.

Either way, it's his choice, not yours.

Sorry you're pissed off but I'm guessing seeing as he's your ex he's done worse.

BridgetBidet Thu 20-Dec-12 20:19:55

YANBU. I live in Sheffield and we had flooding here a few years back. Knowing what those situations are like and how bad the rain gets YANBU at all.

He should have organised transport and if transport was unavailable because of the weather he should have stayed home.

Izzyschangelingisarriving Thu 20-Dec-12 20:21:09

Wouldn't they have got just as wet waiting for a bus

Izzyschangelingisarriving Thu 20-Dec-12 20:21:45

Wouldn't they have got just as wet waiting for a bus

TheoxenandDonkeyskneltdown Thu 20-Dec-12 20:25:36

1.5 miles in bad weather conditions is quite a trudge for little ones, I'd have thought. It's not like it's a bright and sunny day in July, and it gets dark early. A bus ride back or even a taxi would have been reasonable.

Admittedly if they're not 100%, perhaps it owuld have been better to keep them home, not at school.

BridgetBidet Thu 20-Dec-12 20:27:46

There are bus shelters at bus stops. Believe me having seen the heavy rain that leads to flooding - it's like nothing I've seen in my life. Put it this way, when it happened in Sheffield I was sent home from work purely because of the rain at the age of 29. You certainly wouldn't send little ones out in it.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 20-Dec-12 20:28:34

I hear you.

No, your children won't melt, but it is very easy to get wound up by the person you are trying to raise children with when they do something stupid.

BridgetBidet Thu 20-Dec-12 20:29:31

I have just checked with DH too for a blokes point of view and he says that is really bad too.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Thu 20-Dec-12 20:29:44

I am surprised they were in school with upper respiratory tract infections. They must have been feeling like shit.

Why didn't he keep them at home?

FrustratedSycamoreSnowflake Thu 20-Dec-12 20:39:28

If dc were ill enough not to be outside then why where they at school/nursery?
1.5 miles is not a huge distance, and plenty of children walk this distance to schools/nurseries everyday regardless of weather.

I think you want a reason to argue with ex. He's lived this distance away for 8 months, if he doesn't know bus times, then he clearly walks the dc to school/nursery when he has them. You most likely were aware of this. So if dc are as ill as you imply (which imo means they should not have been at school) then you have purposely set-up your ex.

theleanandhungrytype Thu 20-Dec-12 20:42:29

You really wanted him to ring you to ask you to look up bus timetables?

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 20-Dec-12 20:47:36

I agree with you so yanbu.

Why didnt he have decent waterproofs so they wouldn't be soaking all day

E320 Thu 20-Dec-12 20:50:40

Get over yourself.
If your children were ill, they should not have been going to school or nursery anyway, should they?
Fresh air is good, but are you just p*ssed off with your ex or didn't you send the children with appropriate clothing?

BridgetBidet Thu 20-Dec-12 21:11:17

E320, yes I agree they should maybe not have gone to nursery. In which case they should have stayed home with their Dad, no?

FrustratedSycamoreSnowflake Thu 20-Dec-12 21:20:49

* In which case they should have stayed home with their Dad, no?* only on the mums say so, in reality should they not have stayed at home with mum? Presumably mum should have sent them to dads with school uniform, coats, wellys, etc. (its rare for school uniform to stay at the non-resident parents house) the children are clearly living with mum, if he hadnt have sent them to school she would likely be fuming about that too. It's a no win situation for the ex.

ChaoticforlifenotjustChristmas Thu 20-Dec-12 21:30:27

Why would they stay home at mum 's when they had spent the night at dad's?

tinkertitonk Thu 20-Dec-12 21:31:54

They got wet.

If he had exposed them to ravening lions then your rage would be proportionate. But he didn't and it's not.

Petsinmypudenda Thu 20-Dec-12 21:38:26

1.7 miles really isnt that far its about 20 mins, they could of spent that waiting at the bus stop

TheCortanaThatStoleChristmas Thu 20-Dec-12 21:50:31

YABU and so is he. Nothing wrong with walking in wet weather.

But, the children should be home if they are ill and if you're experiencing severe weather warnings they should be appropriately dressed. You're both equally responsible for your children's health and attire.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now