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AIBU?

To be completely flummoxed by this?

33 replies

ledkr · 20/12/2012 19:54

So after five dc and various challenges I am stumped by this. Dd is 22 months and has never been a reliable sleeper. Of late though has been settling well after her last bottle and goes awake into the cot and sleeps well.
We went away at the weekend and she slept in a hotel room with us so now since then she gets immediately hysterical when I put her down at night.
Tried getting her to sleep on me but it takes ages and then she woke when I put her down.
So tonight I thought I'd be a bit tougher and do a bit of cc which has always worked well with her.
Put her in the cot and before I even left the room she was up and over the bars and onto the floor. She wasn't hurt so I tried to put her in again and the same happened.
So what now? I tried standing by the side so she couldn't climb out but it just became like a fight.
I've never had a cot climber so what now?
I need to get her to sleep at night as dh works lates so poor dd1 has spent the evening alone and it's nearly her bedtime.
She is asleep on me in her room now.
I'd be so gratefull for advice.
Thanks

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allthegoodnamesweretaken · 20/12/2012 20:00

You could try getting her to sleep in your bed, (that way she's got the same security as when she falls asleep on you but won't wake when you get up) and then when you go to bed putting her in cot? My DD is 23m and we co sleep, so I don't put her in a cot, but by the time we go to bed she's seep asleep and it's easy to shift her around on the bed to make room without waking her.

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sittinginthesun · 20/12/2012 20:00

Wish I could come up with a major answer, but I do think you need to lose the cot if she's climbing out. It would terrify me that she might wake in the night, and hurt herself climbing out.

Can you take the sides off, or do you have a bed ready?

I think I would make a huge deal about it, let her help make the bed, choose the toys to go on it, and make it seem a really clever thing to do, to sleep in it all night.

Then, do the usual thing of putting her down, pottering around until she settles. Gradual withdrawal etc. And, I'd do it tomorrow, rather than putting it off.

My eldest was a rubbish sleeper, and we tried everything. My youngest was a dream, but he's nearly 6 years, and has suddenly decided he'd rather read under the covers... never-ending battle.

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Catsdontcare · 20/12/2012 20:02

Mattress on the floor and stair gate on her door?

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allthegoodnamesweretaken · 20/12/2012 20:03

sorry mine should say deep asleep, not seep asleep

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NagooHoHoHo · 20/12/2012 20:04

Take the sides off, put stair gate on door. You may as well use this period of her being unsettled anyway to put her in a bed.

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Zimbah · 20/12/2012 20:05

Is she in a grobag? I think that's meant to hinder them climbing out so you could try that, at least I hope it does as DD2 is otherwise very close to being able to get out.

If she's already in a grobag and can still get out I think you'll have to lose the cot though, whether that means putting her into a bed or just a mattress on the floor. A stairgate on the bedroom door would mean she can't get out at least (unless she can climb that too?).

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ledkr · 20/12/2012 20:10

Funny actually she screamed when I went to put on her bag tonight so I didn't bother.
I have a bed so could do that with stair gate.
Not keen on co sleeping tbh we work shifts so always tired and only have a double not kingsize. I literally ache if she sleeps in with us.
It's so useful having others perspectives though as I have never experienced this before

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Canweputthetreeupyet · 20/12/2012 20:16

My ds whos just turned 1 is a climber, i have had to drag his cot upto yhe side of my bed so hes got s soft landing, but this seems to make him do it all the more. When i put him to bed i have to keep putting him back in and laying him down takes about 10mins. When he wakes in the night he climbs out his cot and into bed with me. I then have a battle to get him back in his cot.

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SusieSausages · 20/12/2012 20:18

Oh, we had this after we went away for a week, DS was about the same age. In the end, one of us ended up sitting with him until he fell asleep. Light off, no talking.
It only took a few minutes before he was off, so no hardship really. It lasted about a year though!

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CaliforniaSucksSnowballs · 20/12/2012 20:23

I used a gro bag to stop Dd climbing out of the cot for a while, then she got too tall and I couldn't find longer ones so we moved to a toddler bed with a gate across the door and pretty much stripped the room of anything I didn't want her getting into. Strangely she never bothered getting out of the bed she went off easily enough and stayed in bed all night.

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ledkr · 21/12/2012 10:23

Ok just a little bump to gather info and inspiration for tonight. Taking her swimming about four to tire her out still undecided about putting bed up in case it gets worse Hmm

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SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 21/12/2012 10:28

dog crate?

Grin

sorry, i have no advice other than what has been posted. when ds2 started to climb out i just got rid of the cot and put him into the bed, but i co-slept most nights anyway.

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ledkr · 21/12/2012 10:37

Yes a cage that's it. She slept with me last night. Seemed terrified of being put down even on the sofa next to me woke up screaming.
Co sleeping is not for us long term though. How do you cope if you want to go out.? Can't expect babysitter to be in bed with her? Also what if you want a drink isn't that dangerous? Dh and I work shifts too so often bed is out solace and time together as we don't get evenings on the sofa iykwim? She needs to sleep at about 7 too so do I have to go to bed like a child?

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HeathRobinson · 21/12/2012 10:39

One of my dc was like this. Judging by how late she can stay up now, with no visible effects, she's a night owl.

I wondered what time you were putting Dd to bed? Could she stay up later?

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HeathRobinson · 21/12/2012 10:39

Ah, x-post re the time.

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ledkr · 21/12/2012 10:44

Last night up untill ten but still no joy. She was exhausted and fell asleep everytime on my lap but woke as soon as I put her down anywhere.
She was also naughty because tired. Opening Xmas presents going towards the fire hitting me and dd just to get attention. We had been at work and school and just wanted a rest.
Might put bed up as I feel sitting next to her and reading to her or comforting her would be easier than wrestling her from diving out of the cot.
Never had one like this before, good job it's the last

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HeathRobinson · 21/12/2012 10:54

Could you give her something of yours that she can cuddle at night, but only if she stays in bed? Ideally, I suppose, something that smells of you.

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ledkr · 21/12/2012 11:02

I wondered that? Thought she maybe too old. Ill try that later. She can have my worn knickers Grin

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HeathRobinson · 21/12/2012 11:24
Grin
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anklebitersmum · 21/12/2012 11:36

Put her in a bed. All mine were in a bed at around 14 months, as soon as they were able to go up and down safely on our bed they were in theirs and out of the cot.

We did the 'return to bed method' at that point (basically guard duty and return to bed before they hit the landing) and it took around 5 days of half an hour a night for the most stubborn one (DS2) to get that bedtime was bedtime and getting out was a no go. The others were less painful at ten minutes or so and sussed by day 3.

Stairgate on the door is a good idea-especially if they're early risers and given to mischief.

Good luck Xmas Grin

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BionicEmu · 21/12/2012 11:49

My DS is 2.2, & used to go to sleep in his bed fine until about a month ago. I was in and out of hospital (difficult pregnancy), and it seemed to really unsettle him.

After countless nights of battling to get him to stay in his bed and sleep, we realised that it's not that he doesn't want to sleep, he really does, but he just doesn't want to be alone. So we've ended up chucking a pillow on the floor of his room, and either me or DH pretends to go to sleep there. DS usually goes to sleep with little fuss in about 10 minutes that way, then when we're sure he's asleep we just sneak out. We're now trying the whole "gradual withdrawal" thing, and it was going great until this week as he has a chest infection, grr.

Hope you have some success soon!

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ledkr · 21/12/2012 11:50

Thanks anklebiter I think your right and we have a little bed ready. Might buy her some "bepper big" bedding to help. Like the return to bed method rather than the throw self head first onto floor one and I have enough brownie points for dh to have to do it all as I've coped with her last few nights whilst he worked or went out on works do Grin

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anklebitersmum · 21/12/2012 13:34

[hgrin] 'bepper big' worked with DD1 and 2. Congratulations on the brownie points, although I suspect if you've got a determined one they'll be used up very quickly..

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ILovePonyo · 21/12/2012 14:48

ledkr hope the 'bepper big' works. Do you have a side to put onto the bed or are you just going to go for it?

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Chattymummyhere · 21/12/2012 15:09

This is my DD apart from she is younger, she started to scream blue murder if put into her cot, then she started to climb out us being alerted by a loud thud!

We have just moved her to a bed at the moment its taking 2 hours to get her down as every time you think she is asleep she turns round and looks at you to make sure your still there. However once she is down she sleeps the night and will get up in the morning and play

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