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AIBU?

Working & Studying - Is the possible really impossible?

17 replies

christmaspudisnogood · 20/12/2012 11:20

Hi All...
Generally a lurker so hope i articulate myself clearly enough!!

Have 3 dc's and work four days per week - DH generally hands-on. Am in a middle management role but dont want to stop there. Am 37 years old with 8 years experience in my field.

There's a possibilty that I could start an employer sponsored PGDip in HR Mgt in September 2013.... which is more or less a pre-requesite for more senior roles (although it's more broad-based than my actual work)

Question is.... at the same time my daughter will be commencing the school year immediately prior to her 11 plus/transfer.... and will need lots of support and guidance at that time.

WIBU to undertake this course? Should I put it off for another year and see DD through her transfer prep?

PArt of me wants to do this for myself and my sanity but would feel awful if it affected the DC's badly..

Advice/ideas please!!

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MrsReiver · 20/12/2012 11:27

I did a PGDip with a newborn baby, although I wasn't working. It was hard going but totally worth it. I'm in Scotland so not sure how much support your daughter will need for her 11+ but I assume it won't be for the entire duration of your course

will you get study days from your employer? Do you have somewhere you can study at home in peace away from the family in the evenings?

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christmaspudisnogood · 20/12/2012 11:39

hi MrsRevier.

Will get a study day per exam I think... colleagues tell me they've found themselves taking A/L in order to keep up with the demands of teh course.

I could work/study in our bedroom esp how as have WIFI..

Not even sure how to study which is the biggest laugh really!!!!!

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SusanneLinder · 20/12/2012 11:42

I worked FT, had a part time job and managed to do an HNC in Social care.It takes organisation but can be done.Just be prepared to burn a bit of midnight oil if essays needed handed in.:o

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badguider · 20/12/2012 11:42

I don't live in an 11+ area so don't really understand what's involved in that in terms of stress but i'd have thought that you studying at home would set a really good example for her. You could work together at the table when she has homework to do...

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drcrab · 20/12/2012 11:47

I've had mature students study and work at the same time - and it's not easy but if you have a lot of support that you can call on especially around exams or assignments time, then you can do it. I would suggest taking annual leave would be one way to do it, or failing that, no pay leave at the crucial times (or working compressed hours so you have some time to study for exams/complete assignments). Also you need support from your partner or other family/friends who can maybe take the kids on the saturday morning to at least give you time to study/get assignment done, help with housework/shopping, take kids to activities etc.

I live in an 11+ area but don't have kids old enough yet to take it but can sense the looming doom!

Good luck - it can be done, but it needs a lot of organisation and support systems.

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christmaspudisnogood · 20/12/2012 11:58

Some great ideas here.... I knew i would get well thought-out responses!
I like the idea of the two of us sitting and studying together badguider

I've been supporting DH for the last 5 years with a hobby tkaes him out of the house 2/3 times a week for most of the year.

My turn now maybe? Childish comment but am in that sort of mood at the minute

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MrsReiver · 20/12/2012 11:58

i'd have thought that you studying at home would set a really good example for her. You could work together at the table when she has homework to do...

That's a really good point, I was studying for standard grades while mum was doing an OU course so we often worked together. Unfortunately DS has no recollection of lying on a playmat on the floor of my tutor's offices, or of sleeping soundly in the sling while I wrote my dissertation.

Will the course be entirely self study or will you have contact time with a tutor?

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MrsReiver · 20/12/2012 12:00

My turn now maybe?

Definitely! I can't wait for DH to finish his ACCA qualification so I can do a course I have my eye on.

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Whyamihere · 20/12/2012 12:32

I don't know what your course involves but I'm currently full time and doing an open univeristy course, one of the things that I do is split the parts of the course into areas I can dip into and out of and those that I need to sit and concentrate on, so I do quite a bit of the reading/note taking during my lunch time at work (when I get one), but even a 20 minute reading session helps.

I do also try to do some work when my daughters got home work, but she's only in year 4 (and dyslexic) so I have to have quite a bit of input and it can get a bit frustrating when there are lots of interuptions, but I think as your dd is older this sounds like a really good idea and is what I plan to carry on doing.

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Eskarina · 20/12/2012 12:42

I did my MA in education whilst working full time. BUT that was pre-kids and I completely relied on working solidly through every one of my school holidays to get coursework done. Depends on your energy levels, support at home (my DH was amazing and completely took over looking after the house, cooking etc) and how much time your kids need realistically. You could try setting aside 4-5 hours a week for a couple of weeks to do a bit of course related reading and see how doable it is. Good luck!

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MissCellania · 20/12/2012 12:46

It's totally possible, lots of people do it. You might find more info in the student parents topic especially since this isn't an aibu by any stretch

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NiniLegsInTheAir · 20/12/2012 12:48

I agree that you will need a lot of support from either DP or family. I'm studying for a work-related Diploma as well as FT work, my DD is 2, and my husband is less than supportive. It is HARD. I have another 2 years of this at least and finding time to study is so difficult. (Next exam in January - eek!)

I say go for it, you never know when the chance will come up again. I love the idea of studying with your DD while she does her homework Smile

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mummyonvalium · 20/12/2012 12:54

You will need a lot of support but it can be done. My mum worked and studied for a degree while I was doing GCSE's and my sister did her A-levels.

Neither me or my sister did particularly well in our respective exams (through no fault of my mothers), however, watching our mum achieve had a lasting impact on both of us to do well in life.

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littleladyindoors · 20/12/2012 13:20

I worked three jobs and did my masters degree, it's doable, but if you aren't an organised person it can catch up with you, and also if you don't have support. It sounds lovely to work with your DD and show her that you can always learn. good luck to you both, I am sure you will both do brilliantly!!

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Mumsyblouse · 20/12/2012 13:29

Doing studying, working, having three children and running a home is a lot of things, and I agree with those who say you will need support. I had a big project on this year and relied on my husband and family to look after the children in the school holidays and just pick up the slack around me (especially housework wise!) If you are prepared as a family to commit to this this year, I would go for it, unless your dd's preparation is likely to be very intensive and require a lot of you ferrying her around. If that is the case, I would put your energy into her this year, and then ask if you can do your course the following year as it does sound like the right thing for your career.

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christmaspudisnogood · 20/12/2012 15:30

Wow all - many many thanks! Didnt even realise there was a student parents' topic MissCellania - will watch that topic with interest.

Wont be ferrying dd around so much - she'll do her prep at home with me or her dad... maybe even Granny ;)

Am VERY reassured by your responses - normally I find it hard to make decisions and ignore my own feelings/desires.

A happy (but exhausted) mum = happy but exhausted DC's who cares about DH

Happy Christmas You Lot! Xmas Smile

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MarcelineTheVampireQueen · 20/12/2012 15:37

I hope its posssible, I sent off my CAO application last night! Hoping to study full time, work Parttime and have a 6 year old. Have a lot of ducks to get in a row first. Good luck OP!

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