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Re bikini waxing for 9year olds?

(275 Posts)
Preposteroushypothesis Wed 19-Dec-12 19:26:17

Trying to keep this brief so here we go!
I was having a leg and bikini wax the other day and my waxing lady told me that she gives girls as young as 9 full leg and bikini waxes!! My first reaction was to be completely appalled and saddened at how young girls are being forced to grow up so fast these days etc, however, she made an interesting point which has led me to doubt this reaction and wonder whether it is ok in certain circumstances.

Firstly, she said that some girls are swimmers and are obviously very self conscious of having hair poking out and getting teased, I thought this was very understandable if the girl in question has developed particularly early.

Secondly, she said it is apparently very big with girls who go to boarding school (which is a lot of girls in the area where the wax lady works). Apparently, her clients start as soon as they get there first hairs there and get the whole lot off, not just 'neatened up', because 'no one wants to be the first'.

Thirdly, she said that although she does have some pushy mothers who are obviously driving this most of the mothers say they resisted but the girls will just shave if they don't take them to be waxed and then end up making a complete mess of themselves.

I think my conclusions are that:
I wouldn't take my daughter to be waxed completely just so she's not the first, I would encourage her to accept the changes in her body as natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I would however, consider letting my daughter have a basic bikini wax to stop excess hair poking out the sides if it was causing her great embarrassment.
I also think I would encourage my daughter to choose to be waxed at the time she starts to consider shaving her legs to save her from a lifetime of hardship with the evils of shaving...but I can't decide if I have an age limit for this...

So I'm putting it to the mumsnet jury: AIBU to think that a bikini wax on a 9 year old could be acceptable in certain circumstances?

Preposteroushypothesis Wed 19-Dec-12 19:26:55

Jesus, sorry that was still really long!!! blush

seeker Wed 19-Dec-12 19:27:29


tiredemma Wed 19-Dec-12 19:27:34

I think it's ridiculous.

Preposteroushypothesis Wed 19-Dec-12 19:28:14

What age do you think it would be acceptable?

FolkElf Wed 19-Dec-12 19:28:40

No. I don't think it could be. That's awful.

I can't imagine any 9 year olds have excess hair that would be noticeable in a swimming costume anyway.

MincePiesAndBaileys Wed 19-Dec-12 19:28:52

I wouldn't take my daughter, or e happy about her getting a bikini wax. Far too young IMHO.

LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake Wed 19-Dec-12 19:28:58

I think 9 is really young to be concerned about it. Probably too young.

Yes, I've seen 11/12 year olds be concerned but not 9.

BelaLugosisShed Wed 19-Dec-12 19:29:08

I'd consider it child abuse.
The sooner we realise that having pubic hair is normal and healthy ( far healthier than having none) the better imo.

3b1g Wed 19-Dec-12 19:29:29

If they are all removing the first hints of pubic hair as no one wants to be the first to be seen to get any, then no one will appear to have any and then they'll all feel even more 'different' about something that is actually normal. This sounds mad to me.

whois Wed 19-Dec-12 19:29:34

I was going to scream WRONG WRONG WRONG at you, but actually
If my daughter was getting upset and teased about hairs poking out of her swimming costume I might let her have a bikini wax as in literally the edges.

Really really don't like the idea of 9 year olds waxing it all off so they aren't the first!

FolkElf Wed 19-Dec-12 19:29:37

What age? Probably 16/17.

Preposteroushypothesis Wed 19-Dec-12 19:30:16

That's exactly what I said but my waxist said that they do, we're not talking loads of girls here, but the girls she does she said it would be noticeable. Obviously I'm only going in her word and she might have a different view of what's out of control that most of us!!

FromEsme Wed 19-Dec-12 19:30:30

I think that's grim as hell.

If your child is self-concious about hair when swimming, buy a swimming costume that actually covers them. There is no need for a child to be wearing a high-cut costume at all.

badguider Wed 19-Dec-12 19:31:00

I dont' know a 9yr old who has so much pubic hair it pokes out of a reasonably modest cut sports swimsuit.

specialsubject Wed 19-Dec-12 19:34:53

insane. Why would anyone teach their daughter that she needs to go through the agonies of waxing when all that is needed is a pair of scissors, when she is a little older, and maybe to learn to shave round the edges which doesn't hurt. Just a matter of tidiness. Taking the whole lot off is for porn stars.

The school needs to teach better attitudes. And a FULL leg wax?

also sounds like somebody is buying them swimsuits that are cut up to their armpits.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Wed 19-Dec-12 19:35:03

9 is young, but if that's the age that a girl starts developing, then that's no ones fault. I wouldn't let a child of mine have all the pubic hair waxed, but I would allow a tidy up at whatever age it became necessary.

But then I grew up in a culture where every woman likes to wax, so it becomes a nice thing that female friends and family do for each other. I don't see the harm in waxing tbh. People make a big deal out of it as if its similar to putting mascara and lipstick on your three year old, and it isn't.

Spuddybean Wed 19-Dec-12 19:35:42

i have very dark hair and had pubes at 9. i used to shave from the knee down and mum bought me remover cream for thighs and bikini (i have course pubey type hair right down thighs, not just 'poking out') at that age and then i waxed from 16yo.

So altho i don't like the idea, i can't see it's very different from my experience.

motherinferior Wed 19-Dec-12 19:35:48

My 11 year old has some pubic hair. I find the idea of encouraging her to rip it out quite obscene.

Incidentally it is a myth about 'the evils of shaving'. Some years I've shaved my legs and armpits; some years not. The hair has not grown back thicker/darker/'s quite fine soft hair, actually.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Wed 19-Dec-12 19:36:44

Grim, grim, grim

if there are hairs poking out of a swimming cozzie (at 9? maybe a few girls but not the majority) then trim them with scissors and leave it at that

or don't let your daughters wear such revealing costumes at the age of 9

Preposteroushypothesis Wed 19-Dec-12 19:36:51

Yes the idea of waxing it all of not to be the first is ludicrous!! I definitely would never allow that for my daughter, luckily she's only 2 so still a long way off worrying about any of this. I also struggle to imagine this being an issue at 9, my point is more a hypothetical, if your daughter was one of the very few who were this developed this early, what would you do, if they were in a swim team and it was a very real issue for them. I think this would actually be really tough...

SomersetONeil Wed 19-Dec-12 19:38:34

And people say there is no societal pressure on women to remove body hair..... hmm hmm hmm

The fact that pre-pubescent girls are SO embarrassed about the onset of body hair that they will whip it off at the first hint of it, is incredible. I sympathise with them and understand why they want to do it, and I probably wouldn't stop my DD from doing it, if it meant she escaped teasing, etc ... but fucking hell... It's a sad state of affairs, right? sad

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere Wed 19-Dec-12 19:40:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FutureNannyOgg Wed 19-Dec-12 19:40:16

In a decent swimming costume trimming it to a tidy length is surely enough. The beautician won't say that, it brings in business, catch them young and they'll come back forever. I went to boarding school, no one was bothered about pubes (although I recall physical maturity was something we aspired to) and the first notable bikini line "issue" amongst my peers was at 16.
I would worry about encouraging a girl this young to be embarrassed by her body's natural state.

Spuddybean Wed 19-Dec-12 19:41:35

i think it's really easy for non hairy people to be shocked at this. But when you are as hairy as me and have been since 9 it really is just a normal part of grooming. not sexualised at all.

i had my forearms lasered because strangers would comment on the tube etc. it really is miserable.

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