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To find it incredibly rude when people constantly check their phone during a meal?

(65 Posts)
ujjayi Tue 18-Dec-12 12:23:19

I recently had friends over for a meal and the couple in question constantly checked their phones, posting on FB (they were quite open about it). Now, perhaps DH and I are terribly dull company but I was really put out that someone would behave so rudely.

If they had been checking on the babysitter or if DCs weren't settled etc I would have had no problem with it.

I don't think IABU.......but how on earth do you begin to address it? Do you call them out on it?

Cozy9 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:25:02

It's an addiction for some people.

WowOoo Tue 18-Dec-12 12:25:38

I think it's rude also.
My sister did this recently and Ds told her I thought it was rude. Was glad he said it!

Had dinner with some friends and one of them kept doing it. Nobody said anything as it was her house.

Surely a text can wait til after a meal? No manners.

ujjayi Tue 18-Dec-12 12:26:32

I really think it is, Cosy9. A couple of weeks ago I was at the theatre and the number of people standing outside checking their phones instead of talking about the great performance they had just seen was very surprising to me.

Leeds2 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:27:00

I absolutely loathe this! Drives me mad! Not sure what to do about it though.

Atthewelles Tue 18-Dec-12 12:27:04

YANBU. This drives me mad. It's really rude and I can't understand why people like this don't just stay at home and text and post away to their heart's content. Why bother meeting up with people if you're not going to bother talking properly to them.

I have a friend and her DH who do this...drives my DH mad, he is always telling her how rude it is!! YANBU!

ujjayi Tue 18-Dec-12 12:28:11

Precisely WowOoo - I wish DCs had been at the table with us because they would have said "Mum doesn't let us do that" grin

Definitely ill-mannered. But how do you tackle it? Ignore it?

ujjayi Tue 18-Dec-12 12:28:51

Now wishing there was a "Like" button on MN grin

NotInMyDay Tue 18-Dec-12 12:30:05

I have been guilty of this in the past but I have got a grip wink. We like to moan about 'kids these days' not playing out or reading and needing to be entertained at all times. Well we are their role models.

The ability to concentrate on one thing at a time is quickly becoming a lost art. sad

Rindercella Tue 18-Dec-12 12:30:42

Yanbu it is incredibly rude.

GreatUncleEddie Tue 18-Dec-12 12:30:44

It's very rude. I can't believe anyone doesn't know that. But as you say, people do it. When they are another adult I grit my teeth. But I make sure my kids know never ever to get their phones out at the table. They have got the idea now grin

ujjayi Tue 18-Dec-12 12:30:45

Bettyswollocks - does your DH deal with it in a casual, jokey kind of way or does he make it clear it isn't remotely acceptable?

I actually wanted to say "is there somewhere else you want to be?". I just can't bring myself to be so up front.........but may do so in future if MN jury dictate it should be so wink

mamij Tue 18-Dec-12 12:31:36

It drives me crazy too! Friend's DH does it and I find it quite rude and unsociable. I wish I had the nerve to tell him it's rude. Maybe I can train DD to do it!

tinselahohoho Tue 18-Dec-12 12:32:18

And people who stay on their phones while they hand the money over in shops - they can do the entire transaction without any communication at all, so rude!

I've started saying, 'that must be very important,' sweetly (I'm struggling with the 'sweetly' bit) . . .

KindleMum Tue 18-Dec-12 12:32:25

It's rude - but ever increasingly common.

ChaoticforlifenotjustChristmas Tue 18-Dec-12 12:33:02

YANBU It is rude. I'd have no objection to any friend who had left their child with a babysitter having the phone on the table, just in case the babysitter needed to contact them. To keep checking phones/emails/fbing is just rude.

pigletmania Tue 18-Dec-12 12:34:05

YANBU very very rude

ujjayi Tue 18-Dec-12 12:34:23

Notinmyday - as I was posting I did think "yeah, there are more pressing issues" but I just felt like a non-festive moan (!) but also because it happens every time I spend time with these people and we see them quite regularly.....or we did.....it pissed me off so royally last time as it was my friend's birthday and we cooked for her.....I now feel resentful and don't actually want to see her. That's rather ridiculous, I accept, but I would like to keep our friendship but also raise the issue with her. Just no idea how to go about it.

ujjayi Tue 18-Dec-12 12:36:17

tinselahohoho - I totally agree with your comment. It is so rude and shows zero respect for the person serving you.

Atthewelles Tue 18-Dec-12 12:37:23

I think some of the time people are showing off - 'oh look how many friends I have trying to contact me' kind of thing. Very childish and silly really.

RambleOn Tue 18-Dec-12 12:38:40

Yes, really rude <puts down knife and fork>

TeeElfOnTeeShelf Tue 18-Dec-12 12:39:07

"Am I boring you?" Works well for me. But I have no problem answering rudeness with rudeness.

HelpOneAnother Tue 18-Dec-12 12:41:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Tue 18-Dec-12 12:41:22

Are you expecting an important phone call? <innocent face>

Has that phone got naked people on it? Only you've looked at it 156 times in the last 45 minutes.

Am I boring you?

or as soon as you sit down with them, take out your phone and say "I'm just going to turn this off. I HATE being interrupted by calls when I am having a meal/sitting with friends. you know, I went out for lunch with X the other day, and she did nothing but check her bloody phone. How RUDE is that? Every five bloody minutes looking at the thing. Felt like she was bored stiff. I tell you, I won't be bothering having lunch with HER again!

grin - x being some made up person.

If they can check their phone every five seconds after THAT opener, then they're as thick as mince and are probably looking at it so often cos they keep forgetting what it is.

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