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to wonder why we stress?

(57 Posts)
MrsKeithRichards Mon 17-Dec-12 10:24:16

We as in people, about Christmas.

Now I'm laid back, horizontally so, and I'm getting my knickers in a twist because I've not gutted ds's room yet. I know this time next week I'll be stressing if everything isn't perfect. And why? It's one day, spent with people I love. Sure I want things nice but is it worth stressing about?

I'm chatting to mums at school getting worked up over things, seen threads here about it but why?

Lets eat, drink and relax!

wannabedomesticgoddess Mon 17-Dec-12 10:27:51

I dont know why people stress. Maybe if I had to cook on xmas day I might have a bit of a flap, but otherwise I just go with the flow smile

MrsLyman Mon 17-Dec-12 10:34:31

It's because we want people to have a good time, and we forget that things being 'perfect' isn't actually a prerequisite for this..

In reality it's the Christmases where you forget to turn the oven on and have to feed everyone Rice Krispies for lunch that end up being more memorable than the ones where you finally perfect that Nigella gravy.

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas Mon 17-Dec-12 10:37:18

I don't stress grin
I started having Christmas with my mates when I was 20 and it was a revelation of how non-stressy Christmas could be particularly the one when we started the day with a big fat joint and forgot the potatoes

Now I have a family of my own I have of course dropped the big fat joint, but I have kept the laid-back attitude. It's just a day, with the people you love. Who gives a shiny shit if you forget the potatoes?

RobotLover68 Mon 17-Dec-12 10:38:31

WeWilson I'm so naive I thought you meant a joint of meat - doh!

dreamingbohemian Mon 17-Dec-12 10:39:42

I think we put too many expectations on ourselves, and then the stress is a fear of 'failing'

And there is too much judgement! There was a thread recently where people were appalled that someone would serve frozen veg at christmas. Now no doubt you have a bunch of women out there stressing about their christmas veg.

YANBU everyone needs to relaaaaaaaaax

WeWilsonAMerryChristmas Mon 17-Dec-12 10:40:12

blush grin Not quite Robot. I am a fully reformed character now though!

freddiefrog Mon 17-Dec-12 10:42:32

I honestly don't stress - I'm beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with me and I'm missing a gene or something grin

The kids have a decent pile of presents, stockings are done and I've bought a turkey and lots of booze, apart from that, I can't really be arsed.

I just don't see what there is to be stressed about. It's just us for Christmas day though, my parents are coming on the 27th so I'll worry about them after Christmas

NotMostPeople Mon 17-Dec-12 10:44:29

Every Christmas night I tell myself that next year I will remind myself not to get stressed about it, it's just a day. I am trying very hard not to do so even though yet again we are hosting. I've issued both Grandmothers a short list of items to bring ie. cheese, wine etc and have just written my food shop list this morning having ordered the turnkey a couple of weeks ago. The kids bedrooms will be tidied by the kids and Dh will help me give our bedroom the once over next weekend as the PiL's are sleeping in there. So far it hasn't been stressfull.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Mon 17-Dec-12 10:46:18

grin at the joint of meat!

i dont stress. not about xmas anyway. i have the important stuff covered, in that my dcs will have gifts to open, they will see all the important people in their lives on that day and we'll have a tasty bit o' grub at my mum's that evening. xmas day will be pretty chilled for me. me and the dog slobbing on the sofa eating chocolate (me) for a good chunk of the day while dcs are having a blast at their dad's. i haven't even got them outfits for xmas day. my mum thinks i should. i think it's a waste, they'll be bought clothes as gifts and it's only one day, no church or anything, just close family will see them. they dont need new scratchy clothes for one day.

ChestnutsRoastingonaWitchesTit Mon 17-Dec-12 10:47:43

I don't. My mantra is, "It is what it is".

ChestnutsRoastingonaWitchesTit Mon 17-Dec-12 10:48:40

Do people really have a new outfit for Xmas day? I never heard of this.

rockinaroundthebadtasteflump Mon 17-Dec-12 10:52:12

Mrs are you my lost twin? grin

I was ticking off my christmas 'to do' list last night and was mortified when I realised I've not 'pre-Christmas spring cleaned' the DCs rooms yet. blush

Librarina Mon 17-Dec-12 10:52:33

DH and I have new Christmas PJs, we are not going to take them off all day (...well, maybe just for a little bit wink

HandbagCrab Mon 17-Dec-12 10:53:42

Ime the perfect Christmas is the ultimate distraction from the shitty parts of the rest of the year and a sticking plaster over all the problems within the family.

After many years of being co-opted into providing the perfect Christmas experience for others which involved me doing lots of donkey work for scant reward I am finally (unless another bombshell is dropped this year) doing my own thing.

I've done all my shopping at 4 shops, 3 online, mostly last night. All non child presents are going in gift bags. Most people are getting wine. I'm going to go and buy something to eat on Xmas eve for the day. Which is exciting! Who knows what will be left?

On the day we can eat choc, go for a nice long walk, watch top of the pops and chill out. No one stressing at me to decorate the table right, arrange salad leaves correctly, light the Xmas pudding a particular way, organise giving out the presents fairly.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Mon 17-Dec-12 10:54:30

we did. i remember hating going shopping for it. mum would always be stressed as it 'had to be done' but she had so many other things she 'needed to be doing' and we would be pissed off at having to try on so many different things and she'd get frustrated that we weren't making any decisions so she'd end up just picking whatever we were wearing when she lost her temper and we'd have to spend xmas day going to church and then visiting relatives in yucky scratchy clothes. dont mention the photos

freddiefrog Mon 17-Dec-12 10:57:53

I think there's definately something wrong with me then grin. My kids rooms are a pit, I can't see the carpet and I'm not planning on doing anything about it other than keeping the doors closed, they'll only make a mess again.

Let Father Christmas experience the pain of stepping on a Moshi Monster with bare feet in the middle of the night!

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Mon 17-Dec-12 10:58:13

oh yes and all my shopping was done online except for dc's stocking fillers which were from poundland. i didn't send cards this year and i dont do xmas dinner as my mum insists we come out to her. might just stay at home next year though. i fancy not getting dressed next year.

ArbitraryUsername Mon 17-Dec-12 11:00:15

I'm not stressing about Christmas. I never do really. Even though I forget about it and leave it to the last minute (usually). The only thing that makes Christmas stressful is grinchy old DH. I'm ignoring his grinchiness and just getting on with everything, which makes it much less stressful.

I've been unusually organised this year. The kids' presents are bought and mostly wrapped. I still have to do the stockings though. Most of the other presents are bought, and I'll get round to the rest. I need to post stuff to the PILs, but I need DH to decide what we're getting for BIL first. hmm. If all else fails, he's getting an iTunes voucher.

I'm not looking forward to the supermarket trip to get Christmas food. I'm certainly not taking old grinchy with me! He'll just complain about how much everything cost, and how busy it is, etc, etc just so he can ensure the experience is as stressful as possible!

WellTravelledPrawn Mon 17-Dec-12 11:00:44

I was beginning to feel a little stressed last week- mostly as I'd spent an evening around several other mums who were stressed about Christmas, so felt sort of obliged to join in. They all had presents wrapped, cards printed (not written!!) and a schedule of festive events and entertaining mapped out. I hadn't done a thing (except a whopping Amazon order, still in boxes under my bed).

The next day my baby son was admitted to the children's ward, he came out yesterday, thankfully safe and better. I met a mum there whose daughter has been in hospital with a brain tumour and lung cancer for eight and a half months. She won't be home for Christmas.

I've sent an email apologising to loved ones for late cards and presents and went to yesterday's evening carol service, and the sight of the nativity at the back of the church brought a tear to my eye.

Having a poorly baby (and the other sad things that have happened this last week) focuses the mind somewhat.

A happy and peaceful Christmas to you all.

ArbitraryUsername Mon 17-Dec-12 11:05:14

I'm certainly not planning to clean the kids' rooms for them! They can do that themselves. In any case, the traditional time for nagging them to do so is on New Year's Eve, so you can start the new year with a clean house. I'm not going to bother with that either... Start as you mean to go on, and all that.

MrsKeithRichards Mon 17-Dec-12 11:09:57

I've done the shopping online, my cupboards are awash with amazon boxes! That doesn't stress me out but I beat myself up over other things. Like laundry, I have a thing about having empty baskets for Christmas, why?

HandbagCrab Mon 17-Dec-12 11:14:47

I dunno mrs! There's always more washing/ cleaning/ dishwashing to do, why stress about getting it done when there is more than the usual of eating/ drinking/ socialising to do? smile

You could put some fairy lights on the laundry basket then it's festive and can stay!

MrsKeithRichards Mon 17-Dec-12 11:16:22

I was thinking about bagging up what's in it on Friday and taking it to the laundrette!

Softlysoftly Mon 17-Dec-12 11:18:28

I don't stress I go to my mums with the DDs for 2 whole weeks.

She gets a little stressed, no idea why confused grin

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