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Incident in pool left me a bit perplexed/ worried

(90 Posts)
AlphaBeta2012 Sun 16-Dec-12 13:48:24

Was swimming today with my 22mth old son. He is pretty unconfident in the water so we have been working on him slowly building up his confidence and having fun in the pool. we were having fun in the baby pool bit which has a small whirlpool area. Going round this my son was on my back and this 8/9 year old boy came by kicking frantically, he came past us and caught my son a little bit, then with another big kick which i managed to block with my arm as it nearly hit my son in the head. The space was narrow and I very nicely said to him, that he was swimming very well but could he be a bit careful kicking as there was lots of babies in the pool. He smiled and said sorry he was just learning to swim properly. Then his father (I assume) came up behind us and literally yelled at this child 'why have you stopped swimming - I told you to do a whole lap'. Off poor kid then leapt, kicking fractically in the way children learning to swim to do and caught me really hard in the stomach - I'm 17 weeks pregnant so was not impressed (though on't blame kid). I said, still politely, to the father/ uncle/ whoever he was. 'Excuse me, would it be sensible to teach him to swim in the main pool (there is a lot of shallow there), he has just accidently kicked my son and now just kicked me in the stomach and I'm pregnant, I know he didn't mean to but there is a lot more room in there (gesturing to main pool)' - I hadn't raised my voice or anything, and wasn't angry at that point. This man then told me - 'why don't you just go and f* yourself you stuck up cow' and went off. I was really shocked and we left the pool.
Was I BU, I really don't think I was, especailly to have that language infront of my toddler! i think i am more worried about this mans attitude towards the child and me saying that to him would make him go off more at the child instead!

cornycarrotshack Sun 16-Dec-12 13:51:11

That's awful - you poor thing.
I don't know what I'd have done - probably the same as you.

OhYouMerryLittleKitten Sun 16-Dec-12 13:52:34

You weren'tt unreasonable. That poor lad sad

wigglybeezer Sun 16-Dec-12 13:55:14

I would have complained to the pool attendant, well I probably wouldn't but then would kick myself for not. The angry man should have left not you.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 16-Dec-12 13:55:52

Man was rude, but you didn't really have any right to tell him how it would be sensible to teach his own child to swim. That's none of your business, and I'm not surprised the man wasn't happy at being patronised like that. Although obviously, he lost his moral high ground when he swore and called you names.

kinkyfuckery Sun 16-Dec-12 13:56:41

Poor kid. What happened after the kid had finished swimming his lap?

xkittyx Sun 16-Dec-12 13:57:09

What not even if a toddler has been kicked and she has been kicked in the stomach when pregnant?? Okaaay......

AlphaBeta2012 Sun 16-Dec-12 13:58:46

I didn't tell him to teach his son to swim, I suggested if he was teaching him that the main pool was better. Was i not supposed to do anything after my son being kicked, me being kicked in the arm, then in my pregnant stomach? I personally think I was quite reserved, when both my DS and unborn child could have been hurt?

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 16-Dec-12 13:59:32

I think an adult has more responsibility to ensure they don't get in the way of a child who is learning to swim than a child who is learning how to swim has to ensure they don't kick people who would find it easier to move than they would. It's not easy to learn to swim!

mrscogon34thstreet Sun 16-Dec-12 14:00:16

Yanbu - he sounds like scum, poor boy sad Let's hope he has some positive male role models in his life.

AnnieLobeseder Sun 16-Dec-12 14:00:39

Outraged - I think the OP has every right to ask someone to move their child to a safer area when they are hurting babies and pregnant women.

Some people are just clueless, rude, selfish and arrogant. Those of us who are decent folk will unfortunately encounter them and have our days ruined. Try not to let it bother you - I can assure you he isn't wasting any mind-space on you.

AlphaBeta2012 Sun 16-Dec-12 14:01:01

No idea kinky, maybe it is because of pregnant hormones but I was trying not to cry so just left, sounds silly, and not like me!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 16-Dec-12 14:01:55

You said 'Would it be sensible to teach him to swim in the main pool'

Apart from the fact that little pools are usually called 'teaching pools', I don't think it was ok of you to make that suggestion. It was patronising, and the fact that you are pregnant is irrelevant. Presumably if you were in the water, your tummy wasn't particularly visible.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 16-Dec-12 14:02:57

But the small pool probably was safer for the child in question, who didn't have an adult to hold them like the OPs toddler did.

AlphaBeta2012 Sun 16-Dec-12 14:03:39

outraged there are three pools at our centre. A baby pool which has the toddler slides and whirlpool in (where I was - not the place to learn to swim), an older play area and a main pool with a segmented off learners area and lots of shallow. We were in a high sided whirlpool loop, there was no where for me to move I was already pressed up to the side. I don't blame the child, I think the parent/ adult was damn right out of order - but I respect that is just my opinion and others may disagree with me.

CindySherman Sun 16-Dec-12 14:04:40

What happend to you is disgusting. The man is a pig and I feel for his son.

Hope you are ok? Hope you can get a bit of rest . Being kicked in the stomach whilst PG is awful sad

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 16-Dec-12 14:05:47

You met a rude and aggressive parent who was forcefully encouraging his child to swim. The child in question is probably grateful that he's not in the main pool as the likelihood is that he'd be made to swim out of his depth.
YANBU to be upset.
But next time, keep your eyes open so that you can avoid being hit or kicked.

TheBigJessie Sun 16-Dec-12 14:06:42

Outraged No, learning to swim isn't easy. I know, I've doing it at the moment. I, however, have managed not to kick anyone, because I am considerate. I would not expect the child learning to swim to be considerate, but I would, most certainly, expect the parent teaching to be considerate to other people on behalf of his child.

That means not bellowing at your son to "'why have you stopped swimming - I told you to do a whole lap" in a baby pool. Especially as where you find babies/toddlers learning to swim, you often find that their accompanying mothers are pregnant.

trueblood1fan Sun 16-Dec-12 14:06:44

yanbu :-( hope your unborn baby & toddler are ok?!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 16-Dec-12 14:06:54

Fair enough if there were more pools, maybe it would have been better for them to use a different pool. Either way though, I don't think that's your choice to make and the child had as much right as you to be in that area.

The man was a twat regardless of whether the child was in the wrong area or not.

Viviennemary Sun 16-Dec-12 14:11:14

That's sounds awful. And one of the main reasons why I don't go swimming in public pools full of children splashing and yelling. It's part of the course. But the Dad behaved badly but nothing changes.

LRDtheFeministDude Sun 16-Dec-12 14:17:24

If a pool is multi-used, not laned for laps, it's stupid and unfair of the dad to expect his son to do a whole lap without having to get out of people's way.

HelpOneAnother Sun 16-Dec-12 14:17:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilyVonSchtupp Sun 16-Dec-12 14:18:07

While there's always someone to defend antisocial behaviour and blame the victim, this sort of stuff will always happen. YANBU OP.

catgirl1976geesealaying Sun 16-Dec-12 14:18:18


I'd complain to the pool but that doesn't help his poor son sad

Hope you are ok

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